What do you say when you meet someone?

“Nice tits”

Works for both sexes.

Alright fxxkface.

“Hello”

Simple. Effective. A bit like me!

Give me your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle

‘Wotcha’

I try and avoid touching due to OCD about shit and muck and the odd virus that is inevitably present on folks hands…

‘Fancy seeing you out of a strip club!’ Works for either sex.

That or unzip and offer my c&b. pretty standard stuff tbh.

“Gerroff moi laaaand!”

“Hi, what’s your sign?”……………..possibly.

How do?

It’s completely context specifically surely. It ranges from a kiss on the cheek to a nod of the head with pretty much everything in-between.

Do we really think that Hora handshakes or hugs everyone he meets – I hope he doesn’t work in a busy office, he’d be at it all day.

If you don’t use the Five points of friendship then I don’t want to know you!

Which brings me onto something:

Why does the trend of a firm handshake seem to be dying out. Far too many limp wristed, soft handed MEN out there now!!

If the person is of opposite sex, nice looking, I would say:

“Please to meet you”

Sometimes I would say: “How are you doing?” (a bit creepy but I learn this from watching Joey in Friends. 😆

For general greeting I would just say:

“Nice to meet you”.

Do we really think that Hora handshakes or hugs everyone he meets – I hope he doesn’t work in a busy office, he’d be at it all day.

hiya, awight..? handshake, smile

or if I’m feeling a bit more warmly disposed towards someone:

ello mate, awight..? handshake, smile

‘iya luv!

I’m the recipient of a ‘hello love’ from a rather chipper contractor at work. This wouldn’t be too bad were it not for the fact he’s also a bloke.

mostly…

Ore-rite?

occasionally…

Ow-doo?

On site at work probably “alright mate”.
‘Hello how’s it going’ outside of work.
Handshake if a friend of a good friend.

I normally say “How do you do?” but it is often met with a “What/who do you think you are?” type of look

Wotchyer Cock!

Used to be a more or less standard greeting back in the day.

Nowadays….depends who it is.

Friends….variations of ‘Hi’, hello etc

Family – peck on the cheek

Business – handshake, and a formal/semi formal salutation – depends what ‘side of the desk’ I am on if that makes sense.

Yakshimesh… Chenkui!

How do you do.

It’s not a question, and doesn’t demand anything other than a reply of How do you do.

It is there as a standard greeting.

Anything else is just wrong.

There are conventions.

“Nice to meet you” etc is just sooooo wrong.

It’s not a question

Yes it is.

How do you do.

It’s not a question

Meh I heard that on QI once but Steven Fry is clearly wrong here.

“Servus”
or
“Grias di”

when in the UK then usually “hello fella/son/mate”

Dependent on who it is:

“yes blood”

“alright mate”

“hey babe” (if a woman)

Informal, non-deferential, casual.

How do you do.

It’s not a question, and doesn’t demand anything other than a reply of How do you do.

It is there as a standard greeting.
Still a question, how could it be otherwise, it starts with the word ‘How’ which is interrogative.

“Nice to meet you” etc is just sooooo wrong.

In what way, exactly, is it “sooooo wrong”?

Doesn’t have a question mark though, does it, so there! 😀

“Proper” etiquette just is. Convention and cultural/societal expectations are there for no apparent reason, but make a difference in particular company. “How do you do” done correctly, demonstrates a conformity, and if you like a background which embeds that social conformity. Of course, if you have no desire or need to conform to those standards, then say what you will. It’s the difference between “I wanna go toilit” and “I need to use the lavatory.”

Snobbery can be a destructive thing, and there’s nothing worse than faux sophistication al la Hyacinth Bucket, or even those coached in etiquette to an obvious degree, but occasionally it’s good (in my opinion) to set yourself and adhere to certain standards. Be yourself, but most importantly, allow others to do as they wish.

Do you eat pudding or desert? What about table manners….. how do you eat a bread roll with your soup?

Has to be “Now then” at all times. Really confuses any southerners!

“Morning” if it’s am
“Afternoon” if it’s pm
Followed by handshake if I don’t know em
Straight into conversation if I do know em

I ask people to ‘word up’

I don’t have many friends

Yes, you may kiss my ring…

We’ve not had yet..

Yo Dude!!

Followed by a High Five.

I greet my nephews this way.

They are 5 & 7 😆

“Pleased to meet you.” In the style of ‘sympathy for the devil’.
Also, the local variant of “arayt buy/meht/muh burd” is technically a question, but the correct answer is to repeat it back to whoever said it.

Informal, Hi.
Business people, Hello.

I never say ‘nice to meet you’ until I’ve found out what they’re like. It might not be nice to meet them.

Eh up, yer right?

Ey up

Really should condition myself to say something more formal as it just confuses people from outside the UK let alone the Midlands/North, which makes up probably 40% of my colleagues and 100% of the clients!