What do you like to say before, during or after a fart?

‘My, that duck’s got bad breath’
or
‘A confident appeal from the Australians there’
or
‘What’s that sweep?’

One for every occasion (stolen from Viz)!

Ah, the barking spiders again

“Release springs” that was the phrase used by the duty officer when we unloaded our weapons for checking the chamber after use in the army

“ease springs” you mean?

Better an empty hoose than a bad tenant.