Home Forums Chat Forum What are "key Strategic Enablers"? (BS Bingo content)

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
  • What are "key Strategic Enablers"? (BS Bingo content)
  • CaptJon
    Free Member

    Colleagues and I have just been sent a Christmas message from the big boss. It includes cheery seasonal phrases such as:

    “[we are] optimizing the key Strategic Enablers required to establish the platform for transformation”

    “[we have] the ambition to succeed as a challenger brand”

    Now, what the hell are strategic enablers? and why is it capitalised?

    footflaps
    Full Member

    Booze, bullsh*t and bribes?

    WorldClassAccident
    Free Member

    Ensure you leverage the paradigm to realign and conform your dynamic potential against the big market challenges in the coming time period.

    =

    Try to remember what we did to make this company a success and start doing it better than the competitors next year

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    Did you forget to ringfence your unicorn?

    WorldClassAccident
    Free Member

    Optimise key strategic enablers to establish a platform for transformation

    =

    There are some nasty changes coming up so we are going to invest in the bits that will help the changes

    =

    If you haven’t heard about the plans expansion in your department next year then your probably screwed

    WorldClassAccident
    Free Member

    Challenger brand

    =

    Not doing great at the moment but hopefully the market leaders will leave us some crumb

    WorldClassAccident
    Free Member

    ringfence your unicorn

    So 2012 CFH, keep up

    vinnyeh
    Full Member

    MrOvershoot
    Full Member

    Heres a snippet from our Exec VP’s year end message to all
    “The natural evolution of our ******** ****** Challenge is to move from capturing low-hanging fruit to accelerating our cash-conversion cycle through a focused reduction in working capital.”

    The 11 lads being given the boot next week from this site & the other 30 going from two other sites must feel really enthused to be called “low hanging fruit”!!

    The phrase “going forward” was also tacked on to a few lines :/

    Oh and Dilbert must have worked for our firm at some time as his work is like a mirror here

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)

The topic ‘What are "key Strategic Enablers"? (BS Bingo content)’ is closed to new replies.