weird things you do, even though they're weird

Is this weird, or common:

I click on a window where I have work going on. “Right I’ll get on with that”… look at the screen, then after about 2 seconds click back on the STW window.
Not only is it weird, but it bloody annoys me cos there is nothing interesting on here.

I post something then click on a window of work, click back here, think “oooh more posts”, just to realise it was my post.

See.

one hand to spread the cheeks, the other to wipe, surely?

i am confused about this sitting business

Get naked more than I probably should.

I was competing with a starling this morning. In the whistling / strange bubbling noise stakes. That’s a bit weird.

As there was no judges and no prize.

I talk to myself, stand up to wipe and every volume control in the house is set at an even number. Perfectly normal behaviour.

Internal monologue in my head a bit like in scrubs. Sometimes I imagine I’m being filmed and act more like the kind of person I’d like people to think that I am (though this has quite positive outcomes as I tend to become more confident and try harder at things).

I also speak to animals in their own language, mooing at cows, baaa’ing at sheep. I have quite long conversations with my cats too.

meehaja… I like to think you’re a psychopath.

I always talk to sheep, say hello, pass the time of day.
But not to cows. That would just be odd.

but do you do it in sheep ? 😳

I cycle to the top of glentress red, find the Follow-Me soundtrack on my iPod, stick it on and then pedal my heart out down spooky wood as fast as I can imagining I’m Gee Atherton in the final scene shot in New Zealand with Stevie Smith closing in on me. Sometimes I try and work out where the helicopter is filming from so I can do my all best moves in prime shot. In my head it’s awesome but in reality it’s obviously very, very mediocre. 🙁

I do the internal monologue thingy as well!

when listening to music on the train or as a car passenger, I can only keep the rhythm if I can tap the time in between passing telegraph poles. If the beat falls on a telegraph pole, I have to miss the beat.

I count odd numbers two at a time as I climb stairs. 1, 3, 5, 7….

My foot jiggles as I fall asleep.

I have to take all the knives and forks that mrs deadly puts in the dishwasher the WRONG WAY and turn them upside down. And rearrange the plates/dishes/cups into an optimal packing arrangement.

(I have a feeling I may not be alone on this one)

you have a dishwasher?!

oh how the other half live!

Not done this for ages but we used to have a long shelf full of toiletries at my mum and dad’s house and I would have to read out (just in my head thankfully) each bottle – ie ‘Old Spice, Chanel, Denim…’

Then it moved on a notch and I would have to read each one out but punctuated by the first one in the line ie ‘ Old Spice, Old Spice, Chanel, Old Spice, Denim, Old Spice…’

Then I went through a long period of having to read out (in my head again) every registration plate I saw when driving. I stil find myself doing that one occasionally.

when I turn the TV volume up or down, I always have to land on an even or round number……don’t know why

One thing I never do though is cup my hand over my arse when I fart then smell the results.

Nope, never, ever have I ever done that.

you have a dishwasher?!

oh how the other half live!

Mine works with the door open… bidet.

On registration plates, I try to make a word using the three letters – has to start with the first. I congratulate myself on anything containing ten letters or more.

@ philly:

I tend to have to tap stuff with my knuckles that I’m walking past – fence posts, lamp posts, office furniture – sometime if I’m feeling lively I’ll give them a double tap 😕
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doesn’t everyone do stuff like this? is there anyone who doesn’t have a little habit or minor episode of OCD? I’m sure everyone does, and those who don’t are just afraid to admit it.

I try to make a word using the three letters – has to start with the first

I do that. The ruder the better.

(My plate is JVJ.)

I walk along garden walls if they’re less than 2ft off the ground.

My wife says I’m too old for that sort of activity.

Also, I was checking the video files of my commute this morning (probably, pretty weird in itself) and I heard myself say “Well that was shit, wasn’t it?” to my bike(?) as I was about to lock it up. I don’t remember saying that.

I can’t get to sleep unless I am lying on the opposite side of the pillow to the one used the night before.

If I use a hotel or b&b, I’ll carry on this, by deciding which side is the one I’d have slept on the previous night (e.g. if I slept on the patterned side at home, I’d look to sleep on the non-patterned side at the hotel/b&b)

I appreciate this is a little odd.

I describe my bum wiping position and method to complete strangers on a scat mountain biking forum.

I walk along garden walls if they’re less than 2ft off the ground.

So do you just guess that they will be less than 2ft tall or do you actually measure them – just asking because one sounds slightly odd, the other sectionable.

I sometimes guess how many footsteps it will be to my destination, usually on the way home.
I change my gate if I feel like I’ve misapproximated.
As a sub-game, I pick a point in the near distance (manhole covers normally) and guess whether I’ll step on it with my left or right foot. I get it right about 3/4s of the time.
.
walking is dull.

I really love the beauty of a virgin tub of margerine and so have to preserve its untouched surface for as long as I can.I just cannot understand people who just lunge the knife in anywhere, taking the contents sporadically and horror of horrors, take too much then scrape the excess back in, often leaving bits of toast/jam/marmite with it too…
To this end,I extract the margerine from one end, inserting the knife vertically with the tub upended and work my way along the tub until finished. It actually works better this way too as the knife is presented at such an angle so as to get a better load on its edge, rather than the unproffessional and shallow angle used by indiscriminate tub-divers….

Sadly, my girlfriend and her two kids don’t share my view of buttery perfection and it pains me deeply…

So do you just guess that they will be less than 2ft tall or do you actually measure them

just guess. I get dizzy if I pick a high one.

I think it started when my kids were toddlers and always wanted to walk along walls – I used to follow them. They’ve grown up and stopped, I haven’t.

I sometimes pat the car on the dashboard when I arrive home after a particularly arduous journey (obv not when there’s someone else in the car)

Have also been know to hug my MTBs/motorcycle when I get home after a holiday without them.

I also rub noses with the cat virtually every day 🙂

walking is dull

To make it more exciting I sometimes close my eyes and see how far I dare walk before opening them again.

I have also done it whilst driving.

I have also done it whilst driving.

me too 😳

similar to turning your lights off at night on a pitch black road and seeing how far you dare drive…
but that’s more stupidity than weirdness

rather than the unproffessional and shallow angle used by indiscriminate tub-divers….

Seeing somebody spell unprofessional wrong has a twisted beauty about it.

I play the Ukulele.

Sadly, my girlfriend and her two kids don’t share my view of buttery perfection and it pains me deeply…

If I had that kind of issue I’d make sure I had my own tub of spread in the fridge, with my name on the lid, just to underline my perculiarness.

I play a game called moonbeams with my haloperidol.

Whenever I pick up a can of deodorant I flip it in the air like a cocktail barman. It really annoys me too. Would never dream of doing with a real bottle of booze though

Seeing somebody spell unprofessional wrong has a twisted beauty about it.

Ha ha…..oops. you’re right of course.

I used to do a little rhyme under my breath whenever I saw a lone magpie, after 25 or so years of doing it Mr Toast mocked me so relentlessly I stopped. So far I haven’t experienced any chronically bad luck…so far.

I also chew paper, another habit I’ve had since I was a kid (although I was worse in my teens, actually used to swallow, would get through entire sheets of A4 in a day). I tend to idly rip little bits out of notebooks, and chomp away.

Also, whenever I have a pack of sweets (wine gums, fruitella etc) I can’t just have one and leave the rest. I HAVE to finish the pack. Doesn’t matter if I have 2 packs, I will finish one asap but can leave the other for hours / days

I was much the same with alcohol, 6 tins- got to finish them, bottle of wine- got to finish it, needless to say I don’t buy spirits…
I eat right handed, knife in the right hand, fork in the left. When I’ve finished the meal I’ll generally put the fork on the plate first then place the knife to the left of it.