Weird things at your work place

There’s a sign on the toilet door in our warehouse that says ‘NO SIT DOWNERS’ to deter couriers from unleashing hell in there, as the smell permeates into the adjacent office.

It’s also the disabled Loo…. 😯

We manufacture some of the finest Hi-Fi equipment in the world, yet the PA system was unintelligible for at least a decade.

My old manager used to take the contractors out for Christmas to a Y.M.C.A run curry house in london… and then insist they drink water as they were technically on company time and could get called out (railways!).

Worked for w.s.atkins who introduced “duvet” days!! There sickies you halfwits!

Dress down Fridays in an engineering consultancy = basically work clothes every friday.

No bizarre rules although they are introducing the hand scanners ,wtf!? Time to update cv .
The most wierd thing we have is Kev . He’s the most money obsessed person I have met.
So tight ,he won’t buy milk for his porridge,he uses the chocomilk from the free vend.
He cycles in every day during cycle to work week,just for the free breakfast .
I could go on for hours.

My boss has just bought an ejector seat:

He claims it’s a library chair for when we expand and the shop library needs a chair. Why we have a library is a different story.

There are no hours of work and no set days to be in office if you go in at all. WFH is up to you, turn up when you like go home when you like.
Holidays are not monitored by anyone (we get 30) and we take them at a moments notice – I’ve taken a half day at 12.30 as someone called with a good thing to do.
I left work at 2.30 on Wednesday to go and see Predator at the Imax and then went and worked at home until 8pm – Everyone knew -nobody cared.
If you come in sick you and your germs get sent home, this freaks newbies out…
If you get caught lying about pretty much anything work related you get sacked, we’re big on honesty.

Yup, we do all that too.

My boss has just bought an ejector seat:

I thought you were the boss?

Places big on flexibility, saying that it’s not about the hours, it’s the work, no set work hours, people go early some days and work extra others. Yet shit hits the fan and clock watchers are all over the place. The moaners I find mostly are the ones with kids who get in at crack of dawn and bog off at 3pm. God forbid you come in later than them even though you work much later and are probably the last one out the door if not the one who locks up.

Frustrates me also clients who get stressed about contractors being sat at a desk during set times along with all the employees despite not being their employee, the work not requiring human contact and they might be working from home sometimes and no one cares what the actual hours are at home, so long as the work is done and delivered on time.

There sickies you halfwits!

Oh teh ironing!

Last place I worked was all flexi time, not quite as liberal as some of the above, but it was bloody good. Basically just meant 12 days extra leave, because I so rarely ended up leaving early, but nice that you could.

on office pets we briefly had 2 of these in a tank, in the managers office and then in the day area (NHS psychiatric inpatient ward)

shortly after we got them, someone decided one of them was knocked up, so they took a trip to the specialist pet shop where we were told that they were both males 😆

bails – Member
There’s a heavy, padlocked door with a “PANDEMIC SUPPLIES” sign on it

We’ve got an ebola trolley

Richc I think your boss wanted you out by the sounds of it. Better to be upfront than sneaky/spineless about it though.

Funny kind of restaurant…

4000 employees (2000 of whom were layers)

smart chicks were they?

I got pulled up for going into work too early in a school, Amey had wanted more money as a result. Round here if you appoint a builder for a job you will definitely see them, some time during the next year or two, the culture is pre-industrial.

At the moment…

I’m not allowed to put through late requests for annual leave, despite being short of work and sending guys to jobs 2 hours away and out of area, which really upsets them.

We bring in overtime volunteers every week, and then really struggle to find work. When a job goes wrong, we have nothing to fall back on so they get paid for doing nothing.

They are meant to check an app every day to see/pull forward work from the next five days, except due to shortage of work there is rarely anything for tomorrow let alone the rest of the week. Supposedly a disciplinary for not checking – a box ticking exercise if there ever was one.

The office clock is set to run 5 minutes fast, no exceptions. I changed it once and it was noticed within the hour and changed back.

The fridge has been moved from the kitchen into our office ‘to stop people stealing the milk’.