Weird Dreams

Nah, sorry to disappoint. It’s an old bon mot from a Manchester stand-up, now deceased. Different time zone.

Although it’s close, I’m going to say that explaining your “dreams” is probably less irritating than your “everything is a conspiracy” shtick but more irritating than your attempts at poetry.

The “look at me. Please Look At Meeeeeee” attempts at attention seeking is equally annoying, did you have trouble with potty training?

Harsh! don’t you have dreams nick?

nothing to add other than to ask whether ‘woody grumble’ is a synonym for hedgeporn?

@DezB, I dream of a day when JHJ tells us what he really thinks….

I’ve never had that one again Chester, in fact I seem to wake up nowadays & if I can remember what the dream was it doesn’t take long to fade & I can’t remember it/them at all.

I dream of a day when JHJ tells us what he really thinks

First and foremost I think you’re a cheeky dickhead; the very nature of your post (and all posts for that matter) is attention seeking…

But when you think about it, attention seeking often comes about in the pursuit of dreams and can take many forms, both negative and (more preferably) positive:

From fork manufacturers making their slippery bits slippier and overhauling their suspension damping to get rave reviews, to tyre companies making their knobs bigger and smaller, or harder then softer for ultimate satisfaction.

From rising stars driven by dreams of sponsorship deals and adoring fans risking life and limb to get a sick instagram edit (didn’t speed the footage up toooo much, honest), to boy racers popping a big bore on a Fiesta and cruising around town (or smug middle aged men with deeper pockets in Porsches and Ferraris doing much the same), not forgetting the young ladies who pout and show off their latest yoga pants and bikinis for likes and comments; don’t knock it, Kim Kardashian and pals have made a pretty penny from such vanities…

At the other end of the scale, we have those who seek to avoid excessive attention; the arms dealers, the ‘secret’ services, the child pornographers, the fraudulent bankers, or indeed Prince Charles in his recent grilling over Bishop Peter Ball.

Then of course we have attention seekers with a cause, the Suffragettes, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, the Standing Rock Protestors or the people of Gaza.

Much of the attention received in these instances is far from positive; from intimidation and death threats, to actual full on death administered by assassination. It’s an unfortunate reality that only through struggle and sacrifice does the world become a better place. The ultimate achievement is to have a legacy that lives on long after you’ve died; taking us back on topic, in the words of Martin Luther King Jr, ‘I still have a dream’.

Certainly better than nightmares…

We’ll save what I think about squids hiding behind cameras for another day

Bloody hell, what is it with me and dreams about MTB celebrities…

I had this mad dream about Hannah Barnes, who’d use her pinkie to cast evil spells and help the ghost of Jimmy Savile to escape from his concrete grave.

They’d lock me in a cage and subject me to re-runs of crappy 80s TV shows, editing in subliminal messages to try and brainwash me into joining their cult.

Weird thing was, once again, the squids were involved.

Apparently dreaming of squid suggests you feel threatened or are greedy.

I imagine the Tory party all dream of squids.

Well, I suppose that people living the high life and exploiting others, using their friends in the media to cover their backs and deceive could be considered greedy.

So you reckon perhaps I feel threatened by people, who for whatever reason, are manifested as squid hiding behind cameras?

Yeah, so last night, I looked out the window and it was like a big field of long, dark green, shiny grass… and leaping through the field was a big cockerel or chicken and a pig. They were on reigns on the front of a horse, riding this horse was a witch-like woman, really freaky looking, but I wasn’t scared. I opened the window and leaned out to call to her and when she looked up she had changed into a man. I think the leaping chicken had gone, but the pig was still leading the horse. The man had a white mask on (or just a white face) and he looked up at me and did a hand signal with his ring finger extended. I tried to copy the hand signal, but couldn’t.

It was a very vivid dream, I don’t usually remember many details the next day, but this was quite odd.

Oh yeah, in the dream it was 3am and I wanted to see what went on outside at that time of night.

Had a horrid one last night…

I was a spy, but rather than all the glamour portrayed by James Bond, my double life basically consisted of being a slave, having been coerced into it.

What with all the secrecy, it wasn’t something I could talk to anyone about, but nonetheless, every time I got close to someone, they were tortured and/or killed.

Grim

Im not sure if its the change in season or work stress, but I’m having weird dreams everynight now. Last night I dreamt I narrowly escaped an assassination attempt on a bus in Israel.

Had a few recently. First was a half watching a film and half being in the film (but then it wasn’t a film obviously). This guy was being forced to sift through the chopped up remains of his crew – so he was lead to believe at least. Chopped up remains which contained a deathly device within a box, which, if allowed to touch the ground would cause all hell to break loose. So it happened and the camera pans around this grim room like something out of the original Doom game, these 4 columns grow out the floor up to the ceiling sparking electric everywhere like a 1920s sci-fi piece in full colour. Out pops one of those fireball spitting imps whose face I mustn’t look at if I don’t want bad dreams. It sees me while I avert my gaze toward the floor behind my raised arm, comes and bites my face off, which wasn’t at all painful, but still a good time to wake up.

Hmmm… odd one last night;

dreamt I was Danny Macaskill’s dog and to start with it was great, him taking me for walks with amazing scenery and fantastic smells, then when we got home, feeding me well and being an all round nice guy.

Then for whatever reason, he started making unreasonable demands of me, feeding me rotten meat so I’d fart, shart and puke, then making me eat that too!!

Turned out that Jimmy Savile had introduced him to Prince Charles back in the day and what with all his talking to plants, old big ears had convinced Danny to talk to trees.

The question is, why did the trees get Danny to poison me?

Last night’s dream…

A huge (room-sized) pulsating formless body of meat/flesh was belching out liquid into the street which was actually a big cooking pot for this oily goo. The job of the people on the street was to pick out any bits of bone and grizzle as they waded around in the fluid. I spent my time trying to avoid stepping in it and avoiding the squirting geysers.

Perhaps it is a metaphor for wanting to avoid the drudgery of everyday life working for ‘the man’.

Can’t imagine what’s leading to all this weirdness;

Latest dream involved Tahnee Seagrave getting all antsy about this thread…

Now why would that be?

I have wired dreams and vivid in nature at least 4 times a week.

I often wake myself up from them if they are particularly upsetting, and try to fall back asleep thereafter.. which is easier than you might think to do.

I have no answer or reason for them..

The ones you can’t wake up from are the worst…

Bloody sleep deprivation, really messes with your head…

https://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/most-embarrasing-thing-youve-done-due-to-lack-of-sleep/

Oh, shit, last night.. eurgh. So I’m lying there looking up a these rolls kitchen roll on the shelf near the ceiling. There’s a couple of big snails on the side of the kitchen rolls. Hmm I thinks, they must like the absorbancy.. (?) Then I look up again and there is a big toad emerging from the shell. I’m thinking snails morph into toads like caterpillar/butterfly type situation. My dreaming mind doesn’t give it a second thought. Until these 2 huge toads are there locked together, mating. Then I see them jump from the shelf to the bedroom floor. Ugh, glad they didn’t go near me! Then they jump onto the bloody bed, right by my legs. I feel the weight of these fat toads hit the bed! Scares me so much I wake up.

I’ve just remembered, I was supposed to tell you the one about Joe Barnes and the Dudes of Hazzard and how that relates to this whole pinkbike thing.

But maaaan it gets complicated; from the Parkin Bros (who used to do Dirt TV and now do the Red Bull coverage for DH), Manon Carpenter, Matt Jones + Lawrence Crossman Ems, to Micayla Gatto etc etc

Not forgetting the whole Josh Bryceland, Josh Lewis, Max Nerukar axis of evil

Suffice to say you’re gonna have to wait a while for me to type it out.

Lay off the weed dude.

Had a weird retro nightmare last night… was all in flickery black and white style, with a posh narrator like an old Pathé News bulletin.

The Queen and Prince Philip were doing one of their glitzy visits to cheer up the oppressed natives of the colonies and happened upon Kamloops in Canada, unaware that one day it would help birth a revolution in mountain biking.

With their best cheesy grins for the camera, along with some good natured racist humour, they paid a visit to a native school there.

That’s when shit got weird; not only was there some kinda torture dungeon, there was also a laboratory holding vials of various communicable diseases. I heard Prince Philip whisper something about ‘the grand plan’

Still, when they decided to take some kids for a tea party, it all seemed harmless enough…

except those kids simply disappeared and were never to be seen again.

Hmmm

All this coronavirus business, combined with Steve Peat of Royal Racing fame’s ‘Won’t Back Down’ doing the rounds again brought to mind this thread…

Now I dunno about this jivehoney guy, but personally, I’ve been having weird dreams about weekly meetings with the Queen, the entire economy being dependent on loans (for some reason there was a pack of rabid dogs with flickering HSBC logos for eyes) and something about a seemingly respectable guy who was actually key to the most dodgy of business in Iraq taking charge of the Home Office on the same day the country goes into lockdown.

How weird is that?

Now I dunno about this jivehoney guy

Oh, I rather think you do. We’re not daft you know.

Surely, you’re mistaken Cougar. His posts are nothing like the old JHJ ones! 😀

.https://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/weinstein-guilty/#post-11063163.

Yeah, jeez, get a grip you conspiraloon!

HSBC pulling out of British Cycling?

@DezB, where did you get that #anchored URL to the specific post from?

Last night I dreamed of grizzly bears after spending the evening on Youtbeu looking at others’ pet grizzly bears … 😅

Was looking at bears because some barstewards on youtbue took down/ban etc all the classic Japanese samurai movies.

I had a weird dream a month or two ago, in which someone had spilt paint (white gloss, FWIW) on my mate’s pangolin, and he’d come to me to ask me to help him clean it. But as neither of us had any idea we googled it and decided to take it to the Surrey Pangolin Centre (may have been attached to Birdworld in Farnham) for professional advice.

I don’t recall being aware of pangolins at the time of this dream but the name and also the animal are not easily imaginable as a pair so I must have seen them somewhere subconsciously.

A few weeks later – and pangolins are all over the papers as the cause of this thing (perhaps)

Makes you think.

@DezB, where did you get that #anchored URL to the specific post from?

Good question! I scrolled about trying to find the link as to how you did that now (since the erm, change) and couldn’t! And now I can’t remember where it came from 😆

Big black dog/wolf thing is carrying a terrapin in it’s handpaw. It shows it (terrapin) to me.

Next thing two elderly sisters I know are handing bowl to me, within which is a soup with said terrapin. It’s hot little body is still alive in the broth. I refuse soup and instead rescue-grab terrapin and run off, cupping him/her in my hand holding to my chest under a long coat.

Weird thing is I can’t really run in real-life.

Anyone know what I’m talking about

I think I do. Not that that’s any help. I sometimes wonder if it is one dream that I remember as many, or the dream is about having a lot of dreams.

@DezB, where did you get that #anchored URL to the specific post from?

@Cougar. I remembered, from the user’s profile/Replies Created list –

eg: .https://singletrackworld.com/user/cougar/?profiletab=forums&subnav=replies.
in the list:
Reply To: Weird Dreams

How bizarre…

Last night’s dream was about STW and a strange and disturbing collage of images from the front page flashing up on the screen from Wizard of Oz, surrounded by the cursory flames and smoke, with a deeply disturbing cackling going on in the background.

Next thing I know, the Scooby Doo crew rock up in the Mystery Machine and gave me a pair of flares and a collar fit for a runway to wear; a convenient changing room appeared and I pulled the curtain back to find it was already occupied by someone in a crappy rubber mask, sat there with multiple screens, microphones, cameras and all kinds of buttons and whatnot, a bit like a photo studio or video editing suite

Can’t recall exactly who was unmasked, but given scooby doo’s involvement it’s a fair bet the monsters were humans with something to hide…

I dream of Jeannie

@DezB Aha! Nice catch, that’ll come in handy. Cheers.