Walking into dodgy pubs – etiquette?

singlesteed – Member
This thread reminds me of a time when I walked into Newton Abbot’s finest ” cider bar ” where you literally think you’ve just stepped onto a pirate ship.

I casually ordered two steak and ale pies and two pints of strong cider and was presented with a plank of wood to perch on which was all very basic but man that pint and pie did the job!
I actually quite liked ths experience as a teenager as it felt ” proper jobby ” in a historic kindaway.

If I went further south and found this place then inbreds would deffo be found.

Tbh I can’t stand going to my local nowadays or in past as it’s unfortunately full of inbreaded toffs and rich so called ” farmers “.

So I have now found a great ph on the canal with great scenery and countryside walks whilst topping up on black dragon cider ( is a must try ).

Rev James is a really good cask ale but I have to go into town to get it. Sigh lol

As a student I lived about 6 doors down from the cider bar. Now that was a proper boozer. Quiz at the jolly farmer wasn’t bad either.

I remember that ‘hit’ Bregante. I wouldn’t have gone near that boozer. We drank at the Woolpack up the road. That was apparently the only pub in Salford not paying protection. There was a bloke in there called Johnny Red, who booted the scrotes out. Apparently he’d been shot on a number of occasions, and was generally regarded as unkillable

also used to love in Eccles and used to drink in the Inn of Good Hope, which wasn’t a bad boozer. Left there after a few scoops just as 2 people got shot in a drive by.

Got to love Salford! I do miss it! 😀

but we stayed in the log cabins next to Goytre Football Club with an attached bar.

ha.ha. God, everything was made of formica…

The old-boy sat by the corner. “for a good night out, you need to go to Measteg, if you’re a supermodel, you go to Swansea”

Or the farmer (with baling twine detail on his trice handed down tweeds)

“Mountain biking is it? Take it up the arse do you?”

Drunk in that Salford pub Bregante posted, as a mate used to live in one of those high rises begin it – never did it again!

Once did the ‘walk in, order beer & then look round’ in a bar in Daytona, Florida. Don’t know whether it was the club patch painted on the wall or the fact all the patrons were in cuts, heavily tattooed & wearing beards that made them look like they’d eaten a bear & left its arse hanging out.
In retrospect the Harleys parked outside adorned with shotgun boots on the frame should have been a pointer..

The Brown Cow was on our Friday night pub crawl list Tobago.

Ye gods. Mind you, I’ve been in some pretty awful pubs in my time (Smithdown 10, anyone?)

Is the Flying Shuttle in the middle of Bury as dreadful as it looks?

what about pubs next to train stations

on a work trip to nottingham. our hotel was shut?! so we went in the pub right next to the station. 😯

It is as follows: without fail.
Enter pub, march to the bar.

Do not acknowledge anyone but the female attendant. Real hard pubs don’t employ men.

Ask for a pint of heavy. You will be asked which one, your response is “the cheapest”.

Drink half of it in one. Buy a Bells and say “one for you too love”.

Roll a fag.

Pick a spot and stay alive as long as you can. I can only speak for Scottish pubs with flat roofs.

Edit: You know what, I love a dodgy pub. IME though, you really have to be alone, or “away” with another 10 000.

building a couple of log cabins up near irvine somewhere, can’t remember the town, me and another lad walked into a bar, everyone turned round and stared and then carried on. we stood at the bar, bar man looked up, carried on talking….still talking…still talking, a couple of locals came in, got served straight away. barman looks at us again, carries on talking…still talking.. still talking…we turn around and leave, fast

all the local, feral, unemployed inbreds

‘ere! I resemble that remark 😐

Don’t laugh at the strippers.

Especially at The Flying Scotsman near Kings Cross…

Oh, and yet another vote for Glasgow “Flat Roofs”.
My favourite though, of all time, for various reasons is the Station Bar in Fort William.

suburbanreuben – Member
Don’t laugh at the strippers.

Especially at The Flying Scotsman near Kings Cross…

Jesus! Is that still going on? Not been there for ten years and it was dodgy back then.

I usually just enquire whether the olives are organic and if they are order a small glass of rose. Seems to break the ice.

Cougar, are you thinking of JB’s in Dudley, I went to the Indie Rick disco there. It was pretty friendly as I recall.
‘The Nelson’ in Cowley (Oxford) was finally closed a few months ago. Another flat roofed hell hole. Some of the girls from my work drank in there, you’d be openly offered smack, and full scale armed raids weren’t that uncommon.
I never set foot in there.

[salvation_army]
Hand out your copies of the War Cry and get back in time for band practice.
[/salvation_army]

An old uni mate of mine used to work behind the bar at the Flying Scotsman in Kings Cross.

I fondly remember the Lord Nelson in Keighley, real spit and sawdust place that had such a bad rep., the council had the grassed area in front of it, turned into a mound to make it more difficult for the regulars to square up to each other. Happy days.

2 Pina Coladas please

The 524 Cocktal Bar, George Street, Aberdeen by 8333696[/url], on Flickr

Cougar, are you thinking of JB’s in Dudley,

Computer says no.

My Local

Two rather well dressed young ladies walk in . Obviously “not from round here”.

Whole pub goes completely silent whilst they decide whether to stay or flee.
They stay and walk hesitantly up to the bar.
Our barman looks down at them an sniffs twice ” You got shit on your shoes ?” The young ladies check quickly and reply “No”
“Right then **** Off and don’t come back till you have”

Newcastle is full of dodgy pubs – The Burglars Dog is worth a read if you like pubs there.

Oddly places such as The Ship in Byker are now student hangouts, Ship had its own personal CCTV camera pointing at it in the late 90s/00s

The Scrog in Pottery Bank – my mate lived next to it and would never go in with me, even though he fit right in. I seem to recall the turnover of landlords being quite high due to persistent dope growing in the upper part of the pub.

Star inn at bottom of Westgate road – get shot in there, even though it only ever happened once.

Never had any bother in any of the rougher pubs, the popular shit ones though, regularly would have ‘have a go twunts’ being a bit of a hard man with me.

I used to drink in the Nelson in Oxford. My parents had their wedding reception there. I went to school with the landlady’s sons. One of them was murdered in the car park.

Interestingly I also lived right by the Flemish Weaver. My Oxford accent blended right in 😆

Ye gods. Mind you, I’ve been in some pretty awful pubs in my time (Smithdown 10, anyone?)
Is the Flying Shuttle in the middle of Bury as dreadful as it looks?

The city end of The Smithdown Ten was unbelievably rough. Got told I had 30 second to drink up and F off, not a threat, advice.

I can’t remember any really rough pubs that I’ve drunk in. Mainly ones that don’t have anything decent on the pumps I’ve walked in then out of. I’ve lived a sheltered life 😀

But then- I wouldn’t walk into any pub in the middle of a sprawling estate near the city grounds or parts of Salford.

I’m disappointed to see that the two pubs we were most scared in in leeds have both closed. Both obeying the flat roof convention.

Well I made it out alive! And un-bummed! Literally and metaphorically!

£2.60 for a pint of Kronenberg! Difficult to see how they could do it and still finance the elaborate decor

You went through all that anguish and then threw away your money on a glass of Europiss?

Shakes head in pity.

You went through all that anguish and then threw away your money on a glass of Europiss?

I remember going into a footie pub near the old Dell at Southampton years two decades 😯 ago – I asked for a glass of red and the barman said ‘are you sure’? I said yes (he shrugged). I didn’t realise that would have marked me out. Hang on- I remember the night Moss side shot someone in Picadilly 21’s 😯

I recall a rough old looking dive in the Welsh valleys when briefly living there, bunch of us IT folk walk in, sawdust on floor, bar and a dartboard and that’s it. Toothless types about that place, odd looks walking in.

Jeezus, imagine, you’re having a quiet pint in your local and a bunch of IT nerds wander in talking about coding and Audis and mountain bike wheel sizes. ‘IT folk’… 😥

i’m in Rawtenstall

Did you go to the Sun Inn before they knocked it down? Having grown up in Rawtenstall the Sun still acts as my benchmark for shitty flat-roofed pubs!!

As students we used to go climbing in Wales and would stay near Bethesda so the nearest pub was the Bull, I think. I went to the bar with a GF who ordered a round and the barmaid told her: “That’ll be nineteen shillings and ninepence please!” – this was in about 1979. My GF was confused and replied: “Oh blimey…. is that more or less than a pound? I can’t remember!” This was exactly what the barmaid was hoping she’d say because back came the reply in a loud sneer: “I can tell you’re English – you’ve no educashun!”

In the front room there was a pool table with seats rather close around it and I remember one of the local lads lining up his cue just so that the end was prodding in the ear of a pal from Belfast, who just sat there smiling vacantly, ignoring the provocation. He left Belfast just to get away from that kind of behaviour, mind you.

The looks I got when I went into the Inn at Whitewell with last seasons tweed aren’t easy to forget

I like a dodgy pub too but there’s dodgy and too dodgy but as some people have pointed out some don’t look bad but go very wrong.

I once sat at the bar in a near empty pub and a bloke walked in, walked up behind me and whispered in my ear “That’s my flipping stool you cur” (swear words were actually used) “why don’t you take your drink and flip off before I kick your flipping head off your flipping shoulders” then he walked off to the gents. The barman reckoned he was a pussy and I could take him but I did the decent thing and necked my beer and left.

My Local

In my student days, I used to frequent a legendary place in Blackburn called The Vulcan.

The Vulcan was a proper full-on rock / biker pub. Dark, moody, and full of “characters.” We drank out of bottles, because we didn’t know where the glasses had been. The sign behind the bar read, “anyone caught dealing or using illegal drugs will be barred permanently.” Underneath in black Sharpie someone had added, “unless the barman gets a cut.”

The place had, like many biker bars, a nasty reputation that was largely unfounded. There was never any bother because, well, the term would be “self-policing”. You’d have to be a special breed of stupid to start trouble in The Vulcan.

One summery afternoon, a mate and I had visited The Chippery round the corner for a portion of hangover cure, back when it was the best chippie in a 50 mile radius. Retired to a bench outside The Vulcan to consume our greasy loveliness and contemplate a gratuitous Kaltenberg.

Two lads in lurid shell suits de jour walked past, and popped into The Vulcan. Oh, this should be good, we thought.

30 seconds passed, and both lads left the pub, much more rapidly than they arrived, and horizontally, as one of the scarier residents we knew only as “Pink T-Shirt Man” had taken one in each hand and ejected them.

Legend has it that Pink T-Shirt Man was eventually barred after deciding that he liked the jukebox so much he’d torn it from the wall one night (with his bare hands (bear hands?)) and taken it home with him. The jukebox in question was one of those header unit things, there was no actual music in it.

The pub’s now long demolished. Its sign spent a while residing as a souvenir in one of Blackburn’s other rock haunts, The Napier. That place had a similar warning about drugs, “anyone caught dealing or using illegal drugs will be kicked in the bollocks by Mick.”

Happy days.

bloody hell Cougar, i proposed to my wife in the Napier. The Vulcan was stuff of Legend in the 80’s, never went in. I did wander into one of the pubs on the Barbary Coast (?) on Mincing Lane one new years eve, didn’t even make it to the bar.
Where were you a student, I was a St mary’s college ponce

For Manchester folk – I used to DJ at club nights at the Phoenix – the place where Damien Noonan got shot outside (not when I was there). Did see some interesting things though. 🙂

Mincing Lane

Mincing Lane was a bit of a mis noma, it is the red light district. Not that I knew that at 17 years old 😳

bloody hell Cougar, i proposed to my wife in the Napier.

That’s ace. Shame you never made it to The Vulcan, it was a very special place. Blackburn used to be a haven of rock bars though, The Courts, and the Fox and Grapes were other regular haunts.

Where were you a student, I was a St mary’s college ponce

Accy College for me. Then Preston Polytechnic Lancashire Polytechnic The University of Central Lancashire.

I went to Uni at UEA in Norwich (BITD), no Pub was out of bounds there all in fact welcomed us all in. Such friendly folks Norfolk’ists.
On an “exchange” trip over to Manchester Uni for a couple of days we were cordially invited to go for beers down the road from the Uni.. We exited the main entrance (across from a huge red brick building, if it’s still there) whereby a scrote was performing handbrake turns in his fiesta in the main road, then we headed to what I can only describe as a shit hole, turned out it was a Pub and being soft southerners we turned back and headed back to the Uni where we felt safe. Later that evening we were invited to a student party, turns out it was in some shit hole of an estate on the edge of long terrace housing slums. I lasted about 15mins before a Girl got her tits out and I promptly left for better climes.
I went home the following day.

I hope Manchester is better these days.

I had some interesting nights out in Accy, usually culminating in the Bees Knees. Sunday seemed to be the happening night for some reason