As an individual in the EU you pay VAT in the country of origin, but it should be destination VAT if they’re dealing into the destination a lot.
They’ll apply it the same way as German VAT, so, if its VATable in DE it’s VATable sending it outside of DE.
You can probably complain and have it zero rated because it is UK VAT you’re being charged so should only be applied as it would in the UK. Good luck with that.
http://www.europarl.europa.eu/doceo/document/E-8-2016-003553-ASW_EN.html?redirect
Might help but it might not 😉
Edit: the only countries paying VAT on exports from the EU are other countries in the EU. In the EU Its charged at (a) origin rate if you do <threshold amount. (b) destination rate if you do more. None of the countries you listed will be paying VAT within the EU so they’re pointless comparisons.
Given 0 rate is an exemption from EU rules on VAT if fully expect it to be treated differently under export than internally.
Eg. I assume HMRC has no jurisdiction to grant a (back dated) exemption within DE so its applied at prevailing rate. Any mechanism to reclaim the VAT will be you claiming it back from Hmrc.