Trust – How to Start Trusting Again?

Like many posters on here I've been through the redundancy / unemployment / recession mill over the last couple of years.

I've been lucky enough in that I've found work again. However, trust in the workplace has become a massive issue for me. It's effecting me to the extent that I can't settle. I'm always looking at / applying for jobs just in case I get shafted again. It's driving the wife insane and I've decided I need to do something about it.

Did anyone else go through anything similar? How did redundancy affect your outlook?

Employment is transitory, it’s quite sensible to keep an eye on the job market to see if there is anything better available.

Why are you making this in to such an issue? It's a job not a promise of a life together.
Do what you're paid to do, keep a curious eye on the jobs pages just in case and get a grip! Christ on a bike.

I know exactly what you mean. Redundancy, especially out of the blue, can have a devastating effect on your confidence. I think MSP makes a very good point.

Agree with the others, you need to learn to live with uncertainty and change – just try to take it as it comes.

Good idea to keep the CV polished up anyway though.

they're behind you…….

option 1 MTFU deal with it

option 2 go self employed

option 3 go the docs and get some drugs

option 4 blame your parents for bringing you into such a wonderful world

I've been out of work for 18 months now due to our friendly banker friends in the city

dunno how I'm going to get back into work

all the jobs I see advertised I apply for, just getting no response and the wages have took a major dive

Some pretty fair, if harshly made, points there.

I think Goog's option 1 is the most appealing. However, it's very easy to be dismissive about something when it hasn't happened to you.

It's 2010 man! Is there anybody who hasn't been made redundant?
**** me, I'm a manic depressive and I wouldn't stress it as much as you.

I have been made redundent 3 times in the last ten years, I have never been out of work for more than a couple of months, but with the lack of fair compensation being dished out, each time has proved to be extremely financialy damaging. But at the end of the day all it means is that I no longer believe that hard work and dedication will bring advancement and rewards, and I am actually happier realising that and living my life acordingly.

Been in redundancy situations 4 times and gone three, it does toughen you up.

As goog plus keep an eye on the market re your skill set and try to align with future trends so that you're always remployable.

I went self employed (due to no other real options) and it's worked for me, again, this has got easier with time (ie not panicing when nothing on and also I will take pretty much any work to keep earning)

It's kind of depressing that loyalty isn't regarded as a worthwhile commodity from employers these days. I know the reasons why, and can see how they work but it all seems a bit too focussed on individuals and too little on the "greater good", be it the company/organisation you work for, the industry as a whole, or even society.

Still, that's the world we live in, adapt, be flexible or get left behind…

Pretty much the feedback I needed. I am definitely stressing waaaaay too much. I'm just going to have to learn to take life as it comes.

I'm in my fourth IT job (spanning a little over a decade). I've never unsubscribed to the email alerts with new matching jobs on the various job sites. I've always kept my CV up to date. I sometimes apply half-heartedly for jobs just to see what the job (or company) might be like to work for.

Fact of life these days that jobs come and go, nothing wrong with having an eye on the exit.

What's the worse thing that could happen?

That you get a better paid job?

I reckon 3 years is a good stint anywhere 5 and they should buy you a clock!

Just do the job in front of you and try not to worry about it.

What's the worse thing that could happen?

You can't find a job, go bankrupt and lose your family home?

You're stressing again :-}

Personally I find it takes 6 months to a year to settle into a new job, so I think its normal to feel a bit insecure for a while in a new job / role, until you've had a chance to settle in and prove your worth etc.

You can't find a job, go bankrupt and lose your family home?

Calm down. 😉 Seriously. It's fine, as said ^^^ to be unsettled in new jobs. I've always kept an eye on the job market, whatever role I'm in – just cause it's useful to see what's going on and keep in touch with how my sector is moving. But really you do need to relax, and focus on the job you do have. Think about it, if you're always worrying that you're going to lose the job you have then you're not really concentrating on doing a good job and so creating a self fulfilling prophecy…

Really, the worst that can happen is that you have to look for another job, which you will find. Keep your eye on the stuff you can influence and stop worrying about the other stuff.

TBH im kinda understanding where the OP is coming from.
I changed jobs 4 months ago, and im mucher happier as a result (MUCH nearer home, effectively better money, more valued in my role).
BUT I am feeling insecure because of the change.
My previous job was for a much larger comapny (70 employees) and i'd worked there 8.5 years. My new employer has a less than a tenth of staff!
I've no reason to feel nervous about losing my job, but i guess you get used to the security of working for a larger business.
I think footflaps has it about right, 6 months to get used to a new job etc is prob about right.
I'll try and MTFU too!

I've never met an employer that wouldn't hesitate to fxxk over their employees given the right price.

I was made redundant many times during the last recession so learned the hard way in trust.

The moral of the story: keep a close eye on trust if you are an employee because your definition of trust is an abstract term when the people who employ you only trust their own judgement. Trust is not yours but theirs.

👿

smaller organisation = in theory better chance you can see things going awry and influence/change that. Depends on management of course but in experience the types who run smaller businesses are more adaptable
larger organisation = puppets. Anything can happen, a downturn in India can have a big bow wave of problems elsehwere as 'cost cutting' happens blha blah No danger you'll even see it and no danger you'll get close to helping out.

Self employment means its all your risk.

A job is not intended to be a cushy marriage of convenience, you get paid a wage to do a job. A bit more effort can mean better security for everyone, communication is key. Always keep your eye on the market.

Thanks to all.

A few years back I worked with a wholly unreasonable client who wouldn't take advice from me or two other more experienced member so of the tean and ended up losing a fair wedge of money. I was stressing about her making a complaint to my employer.

An older guy I worked with told me I had to realise I had no control over what anyone else thought, said or did and if you thought you could control those things, you would end up driving yourself out of your mind.

He reminded me all I could do was keep myself right, do my best and hope that was enough. I may reflect more on that advice.

in a nice way (unlike some posters) try not to obsess about it.its a slippery slope.try to relax.you were redundant and you got through it back into employment.you survived! gain confidence from this.you could do it again!