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...list them here. Mine, rather hypocritically is:
a) Relax.
From memory key things are:
Get Married
Join a club / team
Find Religion
Have lots of close friends / family
Sing or Dance
Have a hobby
Take a varied and excessive amount of mind altering substances.
Hookers are cheaper than marriage.
And remember now matter how bad everything looks just now, it would look a lot lot worse if you were sober.
Be comfortable with who you are and what you can do 🙂
Stay off the Internet...
It's only a job
LOL @ MSP!
Don't mope about stuff that's already happened or worry about stuff that you can't do anything about.
Being good enough is good enough.
DrP
Always refuse the third glass of Port.
If someone shouts 'Woodcock', hit the f*****g deck.
"Always refuse the third glass of Port."
Thats a very good one and the same applies to Martinis
wear sunscreen
people on the internet are like dogs... sometimes they get a bone and wont let it go. sometimes they're lovely and just want to please you (ahhh the good old msn messenger with webcam days), sometimes they're bad and shouting at them jsut makes them think you're playing, the best thing to do is ignore them and only reward good behaviour.
Appreciate everything. Even in dire situations make the best of it as things could easily be worse.
Cold, hot, wet and dry. Savour them all.
Do things outside your comfort zone
Wife, family friends
Travel.
Use all my senses. Sight, smell, feel, listen.
If it flies, f***s or floats, it's cheaper to rent it.
Steer your own ship.
Ron Jeremy beat me to it, but;
Learn something new everyday.
Stop wearing a watch.
Keep a good head and always carry a light bulb.
Also, from Trainspotting (I hope the naughty word filter does it's job);
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.
Choose a ****ing big television, choose washing machines, cars,
compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good
health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed
interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your
friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a
three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of ****ing fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who the **** you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing
game shows, stuffing ****ing junk food into your mouth. Choose
rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable
home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, ****ed up
brats you spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
Only boring people get bored.
Remember you're one of the 1%, life in the UK is great by world standards.
You decide how you feel not other people or circumstance.
And in the immortal words of Ferris Bueller - Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
enjoy what you have and be content
It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it.
Always look on the bright side of life....
And watch Monty Python films on a regular basis...
Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows.
You don't have to smoke it all at once.
Enjoy yourself, if you can. You're a long time dead.
Avoid other people.
Shoot for the stars and be happy when you hit the moon.
Life is like a game of cards we are all dealt a hand and we all play a hand make sure the hand that you play is the one you were dealt not the one you think you deserve .
You could think about some wild ideas about what you could be doing in 5 years time..."what would I love to be doing in 5 years time". Then think about what you could do now to get there.
Or, are you spending all your time in the office, working late and not seeing your family? Think about what you really want to do.
Do you really want to get a promotion or impress your boss, or do you want to spend more time on your bike? Or more time with your wife/kids?
Are you trying to get that promotion so that you earn more money so that you can improve the quality of life for your kids? Perhaps spending all your time in the office not seeing them is counterproductive, maybe spending more time with your kids is all you need to do to improve their quality of life and money is just a coincidental luxury.
Enjoy a good dump in the morning.
Don't eat the yellow snow.
Life is like a game of cards we are all dealt a hand and we all play a hand make sure the hand that you play is the one you were dealt not the one you think you deserve .
So in other words, don't try to achieve any better that what you've got.
Learn to enjoy being bored.
Only boring people get bored
This x 1000
Learn to trust your instincts, if you can hear and feel them clearly they will never let you down.
Embrace change and its inevitability, if it gets you down look to the seasons. Everything changes but comes round again.
Anyone who asks you to make a sacrifice will be profiting from it. You have a choice.
Integrity is the single most valuable attribute you possess. And the easiest to lose.
Sleep lots.
It's nice to be nice.
But when the #### did STW turn into Teenage/hippy/singlewomen track world... Someone will be posting a pic of a fluffy cat next
You lot make me sick... 😆
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If it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, don't assume it is a duck, stoopid.
make sure you wee in someone's shoes at least once a week and always carry a set of bombers....
If it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, don't assume it is a duck, stoopid.
[i]we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.[/i]
you think it's a swan?
😉
Only boring people get bored
I thought that was just something adults say to kids on rainy days 🙂
Does it apply to bores as well?
Kind of a catch-22!
--Do not judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes.
Then you will be a mile away and have his shoes!
Don't drink in flat roofed pubs.
"Don't drink in flat roofed pubs."
Bloody genius!
APF
Love many, trust few
Always paddle your own canoe.
Appreciate the small things
My "One Rule" for life and all that it offers and presents to you is this.
"If you realise that 95% of the worlds population are n0b heads it will be easier to understand and deal with"
littlegirlbunny - MemberAppreciate the small things
How appropriate 😉
Never trust a man with a beard. Or that smokes a pipe. If they smoke a pipe AND have a beard, run for the hills.
Life's too short to drink rubbish wine.
Just think of it as the waiting room before the eternity of bliss that's coming when it's over!
Stop caring what other people think....took me until i was in my late 20s to really appreciate this one....my motto of 'get ****ed' really seems to help.
Cut down your expenses to what really matters....dont bother keeping up with the Joneses....i did this too throughout my 20s and it was ultimately unfulfilling....i dont like cars, they are expensive and boring so i choose to drive a small, cheap, japanese box....it costs me virtually nothing and i dont mind the ribbing from mates anymore....like i said 'get ****ed' really helps in these situations.
Get a job you like, we spend a significant amount of time at work, wouldnt it be nice to actually enjoy this time?!
Dont get too materialistic....yes its nice to have a house, its nice to go into a joint mortgage with a partner and get a bigger house than you could otherwise afford by yourself....but squabbling over how assets will be split if/when the relationship goes tits up is unbecoming and immature.....take the path of least resistance and walk away....you'll be much happier in the long run.
Dont trust strangers and work colleagues, people are c**tish enough to the ones they supposedly love, acquaintances will think nothing of screwing you over....assume the worst in people passing through your life and you wont be disappointed, sometimes you'll be pleasantly surprised and will make a friend for life.
Stay close to your family, blood is thicker than water and other such cliches but its true....no matter how bad things have been over the years i have a good relationship with my sister and parents....i know i can count on them and can always go for a drink with my sister and have dinner with my parents, they are the best friends.
Its never too late....i have two mates currently training as doctors, both are embarking on this adventure as second careers....one of them has two children (with a third on the way) and a mortgage to pay....its a struggle but he's nearly there, good luck to people with b**locks like that, i wish i had some of what they've got!
Don't drink in flat roofed pubs.
That's possibly the most profound advice anyone has ever given on here
If there was a manual that you were given when you were 16, that would be on page 1
half-in is better than half-out.....
footflaps - MemberFrom memory key things are:
Get Married
Join a club / team
Find Religion
Have lots of close friends / family
Sing or Dance
Have a hobby
Learn the difference between "advice" and "good advice"
Always, always avoid chips and curry sauce from staff canteens
If it hurts, stop
In a strange country where you don't speak the language, a smile will still be understood
Don't drink in flat roofed pubs.
If you can see a flat-roofed pub, you're probably in the wrong place
Donald Trump is a bit of a dick. If you're a Scottish politician, you might want to remember that
find some things you like doing, and then do them lots
I have a few, but the one that has had the most effect on me over the past couple of years is...
Do not worry about that which you can do nothing about. Worrying never solved anything and never does one any good whatsoever.
Once they are in your bedroom, if you try for long enough, they will eventually give in.
If you're nice to them, most girls you sleep with will tell everyone you're great in bed even if you're not, but if you p1ss them off, they'll tell everyone that you're rubbish in bed, even if you're not.
Watch more sunsets and sunrises. Happens quite regularly so plenty of opportunity.
Wake up on a mountain top at least once, preferably in good weather. i don't get emotional, not even when I watched [i]Access All Areas: Cheryl Cole[/i], but the first time I ever woke up on a mountain to a beautiful red sunrise in the middle of winter, it very nearly made me weepy. Profound stuff. Could have been the cold too though. 🙂
Spend more time with your parents. Even if you think you already see them enough, you probably don't, and they will treasure the time you spend with them no matter how you spend it.
Once they are in your bedroom, if you try for long enough, they will eventually give in.
Almost blew coffee over my keyboard. You're not married are you.
Be true to oneself
Learn to be content
I live my life by a simple process really, based on whether it is something I can do anything about or not.
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Other than that, I don't take anything too seriously, exercise every single day, even if only for 20 minutes.
[i]Spend more time with your parents. Even if you think you already see them enough, you probably don't, and they will treasure the time you spend with them no matter how you spend it. [/i]
Very true. My Mum passed away suddenly about 2 months ago and I wish I had done this 🙁
Having said that, Mum always believed in getting the most out of life which is what I have always done - it just hits home a little more now.
Do things, Dont buy things.
but the advice above about flat roofed pubs is probably the best yet.
+1 for flat roofed pubs, this will from now on be rule no1 (although the damage may already done).
Could I also offer "life's a journey not a race" and "if its worth doing it worth doing right" and lastly "what goes around comes around" which I always take to have some Karma balancing type meaning that IME must be true.
Ignore vacuous, trite sentimental bollox that reads like it was copied out of a greetings card.
And the flat roofed pub thing. Definitely that.
1)Never play cards with a man called Doc.
2)Always wear thick socks in the North.
Better to be thought of as a fool, than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Be honest