Top Tips for enjoying life, all things considered…

…list them here. Mine, rather hypocritically is:

a) Relax.

From memory key things are:

Get Married
Join a club / team
Find Religion
Have lots of close friends / family
Sing or Dance
Have a hobby

Take a varied and excessive amount of mind altering substances.
Hookers are cheaper than marriage.
And remember now matter how bad everything looks just now, it would look a lot lot worse if you were sober.

Be comfortable with who you are and what you can do 🙂

Stay off the Internet…

It’s only a job

LOL @ MSP!

Don’t mope about stuff that’s already happened or worry about stuff that you can’t do anything about.

Being good enough is good enough.

DrP

Always refuse the third glass of Port.
If someone shouts ‘Woodcock’, hit the f*****g deck.

“Always refuse the third glass of Port.”

Thats a very good one and the same applies to Martinis

wear sunscreen

people on the internet are like dogs… sometimes they get a bone and wont let it go. sometimes they’re lovely and just want to please you (ahhh the good old msn messenger with webcam days), sometimes they’re bad and shouting at them jsut makes them think you’re playing, the best thing to do is ignore them and only reward good behaviour.

Appreciate everything. Even in dire situations make the best of it as things could easily be worse.

Cold, hot, wet and dry. Savour them all.

Do things outside your comfort zone

Wife, family friends

Travel.

Use all my senses. Sight, smell, feel, listen.

If it flies, f***s or floats, it’s cheaper to rent it.

Steer your own ship.

Ron Jeremy beat me to it, but;

Learn something new everyday.

Stop wearing a watch.

Keep a good head and always carry a light bulb.

Also, from Trainspotting (I hope the naughty word filter does it’s job);

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.
Choose a **** big television, choose washing machines, cars,
compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good
health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed
interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your
friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a
three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of **** fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who the **** you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing
game shows, stuffing **** junk food into your mouth. Choose
rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable
home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, **** up
brats you spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future.
Choose life.

Only boring people get bored.

Remember you’re one of the 1%, life in the UK is great by world standards.

You decide how you feel not other people or circumstance.

And in the immortal words of Ferris Bueller – Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

enjoy what you have and be content

It ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it.

Always look on the bright side of life….

And watch Monty Python films on a regular basis…

Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows.

You don’t have to smoke it all at once.

Enjoy yourself, if you can. You’re a long time dead.

Avoid other people.

Shoot for the stars and be happy when you hit the moon.

Life is like a game of cards we are all dealt a hand and we all play a hand make sure the hand that you play is the one you were dealt not the one you think you deserve .

You could think about some wild ideas about what you could be doing in 5 years time…”what would I love to be doing in 5 years time”. Then think about what you could do now to get there.

Or, are you spending all your time in the office, working late and not seeing your family? Think about what you really want to do.

Do you really want to get a promotion or impress your boss, or do you want to spend more time on your bike? Or more time with your wife/kids?

Are you trying to get that promotion so that you earn more money so that you can improve the quality of life for your kids? Perhaps spending all your time in the office not seeing them is counterproductive, maybe spending more time with your kids is all you need to do to improve their quality of life and money is just a coincidental luxury.

Enjoy a good dump in the morning.

Don’t eat the yellow snow.

Life is like a game of cards we are all dealt a hand and we all play a hand make sure the hand that you play is the one you were dealt not the one you think you deserve .

So in other words, don’t try to achieve any better that what you’ve got.

Learn to enjoy being bored.

Only boring people get bored

This x 1000

Learn to trust your instincts, if you can hear and feel them clearly they will never let you down.

Embrace change and its inevitability, if it gets you down look to the seasons. Everything changes but comes round again.

Anyone who asks you to make a sacrifice will be profiting from it. You have a choice.

Integrity is the single most valuable attribute you possess. And the easiest to lose.

Sleep lots.

It’s nice to be nice.

But when the #### did STW turn into Teenage/hippy/singlewomen track world… Someone will be posting a pic of a fluffy cat next

You lot make me sick… 😆

If it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, don’t assume it is a duck, stoopid.

make sure you wee in someone’s shoes at least once a week and always carry a set of bombers….