Those who have adult ADHD diagnosis…

After being diagnosed…. What changed?

I tick many of the boxes, got a number of issues which looking at now, make complete sense. But this is now an inherent part of me, my life and how I deal with things. It’s my personality, I guess? Did meds help anything? Do you see change? I’m approaching 50. A few friends have had diagnoses but I don’t see any huge differences but they say things are clearer, memory is better, less skatty. I wouldn’t say I’m physically hyperactive but my thoughts are! Last night I woke every hour with the same loop of short few lines from a song, over and over…. Often the song changes but the short loop drives me crazy. I’m tired. Often I have conversations which to others, appear like I’m listening and understanding. 5 mins later I’m “errr what, was I supposed to do this or not do this?”

Guess I need to see someone.

I’d tell you if I’d made it through the waiting list… 2 years and counting.

imvhe the diagnosis doesn’t help much but the medication…if you can get hold of it…helped a lot! It didn’t change me and wasn’t mind-bending or anything, but it just seemed to let me hit a streak of “good days” quite often.

Have you actually been diagnosed?

I had the meds when I was a kid (12-13 iirc), worked a treat. Then my mum spoke to a friend of a friend at a party, who basically told her she was the devil incarnate for putting me on such drugs. This put the fear of god into her, so that was stopped.

looking back, not having the meds has played a significant factor in me not fulfilling potential, and presents challenges currently, both at work and home.

Was only after watching Ben Cathro’s update on PB did I recognise all the symptoms for myself, now can’t get a diagnosis for either ages, or a fortune. Work private health won’t cover it. I’m 39.

**** you, Grace.

My son is currently pursuing a diagnosis – he’s certainly more on the spectrum the older he has got. Long waiting list. Won’t make much difference but hopefully employers will understand more. Short attention span !

Currently waiting on an official diagnosis…

I do however have an unofficial one. What changed right away? Nothing. It has taken me the best part of a year to start unpacking just how much this has impacted the way I live my life to date. While doing this, I have started to discuss more openly how my brain works and how this may be different to what is expected. My wife understands why I do or don’t do things now, and knows how to better account for me.

I have also started to accept myself some more. Some of the behaviors which I now know are a direct symptom of adhd are things that I have beaten myself up for all my adult life.It runs really deep too, so it’s taking a good amount of time to realise just how much of an impact this has had on every element of my life (for good or bad). I’m not actually a cold broken lazy individual, my neurons just fire differently to the majority of people.

I now have direction when it comes to areas I want to improve on. I’m not alone, and there are actually ways of dealing with the intricacies of adhd when it does impact day to day life.

Realised a couple of months ago that I most likely have ADHD (probably ADD). It was whilst researching ADHD for one of my kids that I did the test and realised where he got his…

Have a bit of a bonus coming with work so intend going private for a diagnosis. Should be seen within a couple of months vs 5 years with my NHS trust.

The realisation of the self diagnosis was a bit of a weight of my shoulders and explains so much on the difficulties I have with memory, future planning, financial issues the list goes on! In saying that it sort of has raised other feelings, sort of replaced original feelings with others. Probably why I’d like to get further help.

My team leader got me and pushed me to do the assessment after a couple of issues happened at work.  Home life made no difference but has helped with work. Things put into place to help me concentrate and focus and has helped work understand why I’m the way I am and why I act and react the way I do.

A  friend of mine did and it changed his life for the better in his 50s.

I realised in my 50s that I have strong autistic traits and maybe some ADHD.  I decided not to go for formal diagnosis because 1:  I had my coping strategies.  2: there are folk out there with greater needs than mine struggling for the professionals time.  If I had been 30 maybe it would have been worth it but in my 50s?  for me it was not

I think the key points are:  Is this disabling to you?  does it affect your everyday life? and what will a diagnosis do for you?

I asked to be assessed but the system rejected it. Based on nothing but a few questions my GP asked me over the phone.

I’ve pretty much diagnosed myself from doing online questions and having my missus and friends highlight seeing countless symptoms in me.

Most mornings I leave the house about 3 times, forgetting keys, wallets, phones, ID cards, laptops etc.  I have countless half finished jobs that I just gave up on halfway through because there wasn’t any real pressure. I talk too much and don’t listen as well as I could.

The idea of some magic drug to focus my brain sounds amazing but I will likely give up chasing a solution due to lack of attention lol

Currently on the waiting list for a diagnosis, which the GP thinks will be a formality.

It’s helping me understand why I am who I am, even yesterday I learnt something new about ADHD in RSD: rejection sensitive dysphoria.

I’m good at masking it, well I think I am but as I get older I’m not as good as I used to be.
Since starting the diagnosis process, work were great until a line manager change and now it could really hamper progression routes due to bouts of procrastination paralysis.

It’s my home life where I really think I would benefit from being medicated as it is having a massive impact on my wife.

On the list now for a year or so. Pretty certain I have it. It would explain a lot.

Family my side is pretty Neurospicy! Austistic daughter and nephews, ADHD sister. And my dad is highly likley!

I always thought I was just a bit weird/lazy. But a few years after daughter’s diagnosis, and nephew’s diagnosis. And then my sister’s diagnosis…I was like – oooohh 😂

Had a call with the GP a few months ago after a combination of things led me to suggest that I might have ADHD. I, like several others it seems, watched Cathro’s video and felt like someone had shown me behind the curtain of a whole world of answers.

“I do that. And that. And that…”

A couple of colleagues are long diagnosed and I share all of their symptoms. Did a couple of the tests that Google throws up and lit them up like a Christmas tree with positive self diagnosis.

GP could not have been less interested. Currently no pathway for treatment in our area and there’s a national shortage of the medication anyway so, in his words, what would change with a diagnosis.

during the process of researching the problems my sons were having, I became more and more aware that so many of the symptoms I was reading about applied to me – including a lot of stuff that I’d always just shrugged off as character flaws and general uselessness. I managed to get the assessment on BUPA, but they don’t cover the treatment. I am paying for the meds at the moment, (which I can just about afford, but it’s not great), in order to try and make an informed judgement about whether its worth it for me.

Been fiddling with doses for the last two months and it is very interesting. The main effect? I feel so much more “awake”. Life used to be a bit of a drag at times and I was tired all the time – since being a teenager thirty odd years ago. I now feel like I imagine you are supposed to after a good night’s sleep – so much more clear headed, alert and ready for whatever I need to do.

I’m also much more patient with the kids and able to tolerate the noises, movements etc that used to be really hard to bear.

It’s not a panacea though, I’m still really easily distracted, but I’m more aware of it happening and better able to avoid it (this must also be because of the research and knowledge that comes with the diagnosis). One I guess bad effect of the alertness and energy is that I really need to keep on top of my distraction (that could be either to do a lot of tasks very superficially and badly, or get stuck into one thing for many hours at high intensity to the detriment of everything else).

If I indulge that side of me, I can easily end up spending 10 hours researching different types of wood joints for a DIY pergola project or stay up til 4am working on reports on the computer. I did that before, but now I can keep going for much longer!

@jamesmio

From NICE ADHD guidelines which your GP can refer to for guidance:

“The positive impacts of receiving a diagnosis, such as:
-improving their understanding of symptoms
-identifying and building on individual strengths
-improving access to services”

Admittedly their list of negatives is much longer, but let’s keep it optimistic!

The idea of some magic drug to focus my brain sounds amazing but I will likely give up chasing a solution due to lack of attention lol

There is a bit of a paradox there, it’s true.

I think I’m only a mild case and only take a mild dose, but I have definitely found it worthwhile.

@luke – my OH says I am less awful to be around now

There is a bit of a paradox there, it’s true.

My GP told me to look through a list of services on a big list of providers, pick one, email them, then get back in touch with the GP once they’d responded.

Aye, right.

So after missing three densist appts because I’m stupid and can’t read the bloody appt card….

Today I rocked up to the GP for my 930 appt, to be told it’s next week. F actual FS.

I’m in Aus. Public health don’t diagnose or prescribe, it’s all private. Expensive appts etc but lots of private psychiatrists to try.

I’ve done the pre-assessment questions and scoring high on pretty much most things. The only thing I don’t score high on is interrupting people as that’s just something I’ve learned, to try and keep my mouth shut. I have a terrible sense of humor and I used to just say whatever was in my head, good or bad or shocking. It’s got me in trouble, replying instantly to emails but learned to ask a colleague “hey, can you read this for me before I send it?”.

Things like a huge aversion to noisy eaters – they’re doing it on purpose at me… Getting super angry over silly things. Last year or so I’ve got a little destructive with property when my buttons are pushed (thrown things, dropped things on purpose – headphones, watches. Even push the laptop off the sofa. Why? Someone left it there, I nearly sat on it, so angrily yeeted it. All instant regret, but I’ve had some road rage instances where I’ve just wanted to smash windows or slash tyres. That kinda scares me. I’m not physically hyper but my brain is.

I’m making mistakes at work, missing dates and times and things being overdue as I spend too long planning what I’m doing, than doing. The planning wears me out then I’m all over the place but I can’t discuss with work that “I think I’m ADHD” cos they’ll just say I need to do something about it and see someone.

Had many times where a normal chat with the wife has turned into me just being a total arse in response. That’s not fair on her.

I’m prepared to pay what it takes to get to see someone and see what my options are before I do something which is / was really out of character for me. Also worries me, what if the doc DOESN’T agree with my Google diagnosis?

Wife has just written down and SMS’d me my tasks for tomorrow. *LOL* (not lol). After messing up yet another appt my mate said “just use Google Calendar?”. I said I do. And my Outlook calendar. And Google Notes. And somewhere else I can’t remember now. It’s like I’m blind to it all.

Guess there’s nothing to lose (aside from money) and much to gain?

Guess there’s nothing to lose (aside from money) and much to gain?

pretty much

I think I said in my post “is it disabling / affecting your everyday life”  sounds like something is for sure.  Well beyond the point at which I would say you need to investigate.

My 20 yr old son has an ADHD diagnosis, and like many here, having been aware of the symptoms I’m pretty sure I do too (I definitely do).
Anyway- in typical impulsive fashion, after dropping out of uni a couple of years ago, he has gone through clearing and is off to Bangor uni (I know- v happy) in two weeks.
Are there any organisational bits of software anyone can recommend to help him organise his assignments, prioritise, and focus.
I’d also like to know for myself.
Or maybe not software- what’s that thing where you write stuff on post it notes and physically move along a board.
Thanks

Lordy. Let me know if you find something .  Love learning, but I’m an absolutely shocking student.  I’ve wanted to do a few courses since uni and early career professional exams but I know how it would go: procrastination, guilt, not enjoying anything I was doing for fun because I knew I should be studying… Last minute cramming, stress stress stress, scraping through.  Sort of efficient on a basis of “time spent actually studying” vs results, but awful on a “time spent feeling bad about not studying + actually studying” vs results.

Sounds familiar!

I quite like Gabor Mate and his podcasts around trauma and attachment, his thinking is quite radical when measured against modern medicine, he talks about ADHD here:

and for balance, here’s someone who challenges his views:

I find Mate other podcasts around toxic culture really interesting.

(some people may wish to reach for the Bacofoil)

It looks like the weight of evidence is overwhelmingly against Gabor Maté’s view.

This is simply not a case of one person saying one thing and one another thing.

Are people with ADHD more likely to have tramatic childhoods? Yes they are. The combination of a child and parent both with ADHD has potential to go very wrong

Correlation does not mean causation.

some people may wish to reach for the Bacofoil

Or the peer reviewed studies?

Are there any organisational bits of software anyone can recommend to help him organise his assignments, prioritise, and focus.

It’s only with hindsight that I can see how I managed to get through uni. In part it was due to my friendship group consisting mostly of my coursemates. We kept each other organised, though priority was based on immediacy! In my day MSN Messenger was used heavily to keep in touch during assignments, today’s equivalent is maybe WhatsApp?

To use software usually entails navigating past layers of distraction. A diary or a notebook to write stuff down can be a simpler solution… as long as you don’t lose it! I use lists for to dos and thought gathering. I also “backup” them by taking pictures of it with my phone.

My wife has long  said I have ADHD but I never paid it any real mind as I was was always restless and fidgety.  After reading these posts and doing a bit of Googling, I think I have to agree with her.  This is an extract from an NHS website and I check nearly every box.

• carelessness and lack of attention to detail
• continually starting new tasks before finishing old ones
• poor organisational skills
• inability to focus or prioritise
• continually losing or misplacing things
• forgetfulness
• restlessness and edginess
• difficulty keeping quiet, and speaking out of turn
• blurting out responses and often interrupting others
• mood swings, irritability and a quick temper
• inability to deal with stress
• extreme impatience
• taking risks in activities, often with little or no regard for personal safety or the safety of others – for example, driving dangerously

At 57, will I bother to get officially diagnosed?  Maybe not but the idea of experiencing life with the correct medication, does seem rather intriguing .  I did get myself professionally checked for dyslexia in my early 30s and sure enough, I am dyslexic. Which as it turns out, is also associated with ADHD.

Yup, I can agree with most of the above. No trauma in my childhood though!

But also the laser focus when I’m super interested in a new hobby / passtime (which means everything else gets forgotten / not done / will do later). And, the numerous hobbies! I used to sit and watch endless MTB vids but since buying a Landcruiser, I’m watching endless 4×4 shows and how-to’s.

I’m very aware now I tend to “me too!” many conversations. There’s no middle ground. I’m either super quiet (cos I’m usually telling myself “no-one cares shut the f up” or I’m Top-Trumping someone else’s story or experience.

I deal with high stress and quick thinking stuff like it’s no issue, but the mundane day to day tasks bore me and I cba.

The temper that comes from nowhere then when you reflect you feel guilty and remorseful.

Being aware of what you should be doing, but also not doing it. Prime example of this is I’ve still not got round to booking an appt and getting this ball rolling. Hey, I’m 48. No rush right?

I feel like I’ve got this far but I do wonder what meds might do for me. I only recently realised I’ve been caffeinating myself for so long – 3 espressos before I’ve left the house. Coffee in the car. Coffee’s when I get to work. Heck I’ll drink a coffee before bed. Since my Jura broke I’ve avoided replacing it (but still drinking lots of instant – yuck I know).

I will get round to making an appt. Soon. Ish.

So what systems/ software do people use to function at work (or home).
Cheers

TL;DR I always thought prior to being diagnosed I’d take the meds. I was diagnosed. I got a prescription. I read up on the medication (side effects, other’s experiences etc.) I decided not to take the medication.

There is strong evidence that regular daily exercise can help with ADHD. Also some new evidence showing that exercises that improve your balance can also help. I recommend reading the ADHD 2.0 book

Long version… While the medication can really help, I decided, for the moment, it’s not for me. Reading of the side effects it looked like I’d be swapping one set of problems for another. Also the prescribing preference appears to be for slow release, rather than regular small doses. I think this is to prevent abuse/overdosing and also just that people can forget to take several tablets a day. I didn’t like the idea of being “locked in” to having it in system. I much preferred the idea of taking something when I feel I needed it, allowing myself time off. Also when on the meds it’s no caffeine or alcohol……
I know what medication can do. During a bout of Covid, I found that Pseudoephedrine aka Pharmacy strength Sudafed, has a calming, focusing affect on me. It shouldn’t do according to the listed side effects, in fact quite the opposite is expected. It’s also brilliant at clearing blocked sinuses and congestion. I subsequently took it again a few times either for colds or Hayfever. I noticed the same effects on my focus and concentration. Then I researched what drugs are used to treat ADHD. Amphetamines are one them and turns out Pseudoephedrine is a closely related drug to Amphetamines (in fact it may even be classed as one?). Please exercise caution with this information!! I’m pretty sure you cannot take Pseudoephedrine daily for the long term! Also I noticed other side effects, like increased heart rate (my Garmin warned me of this).

Stimulant type drugs all appear to have risks of increasing blood pressure and heart issues. I was also asking myself, how long am I going to be taking this stuff for? Do I want to make my day to day function dependent on it? What if one day I can’t take it, e.g. for medical reasons, or it’s no longer available. It also has a financial cost associated with it.

I recommend reading the ADHD 2.0 book. There’s some really interesting stuff in there, especially the stuff around exercise and balance. I read it while on holiday in July. Thought great, loads of stuff I can use there…. have I done any of it yet?…. no of course not!

So what systems/ software do people use to function at work (or home).

I am having major trouble focusing on tasks when I have currently a dozen customers on the go I have to deal with. It’s all bouncing around my head at the same time. So what I’ve done is set up a private board on our own organisational tool and set them out in a list in order of priority. This really helps keep me calm. Of course I lose focus on that as well but it helps to come back to one task only not 12.

I live in a house where we are all probably ADHD, I am course the mildest 😉  I am the do-er here.

Two (my wife and son #1) have diagnosis for lots of things, and son #2 is not diagnosed.  Btw they all think I am bi-polar, I think its because I live with them all 🙂

Anyway meds, on son #1 we have tried various and the results were amazing, but the side effects gradually wore him down.  Recently his ticks, wandering the house at bedtime and beyond and ranting never finishes sentences are back (a lot).  He did ask about meds the other day.  I am going suggest he does weekdays only and see how that goes.

So what systems/ software do people use to function at work (or home).

I found To-Do lists didn’t really help, until I realised I wasn’t putting half of the stuff down on them. My lists are now To-Do items, plus some random thoughts, which might develop into ToDos. I try to re-write and transfer the list as often as I can. This means you revisit all of the items. At times of task paralysis, picking something off the list that can be done right now can kick start you into doing other things.
Another option in these times is stand up, put your shoes on and walk out of the house. Before you’ve got 20 yards away you’ll have probably realised what you need to do next. Perhaps it’s make an appointment or perhaps that you should have also put some trousers on, either way it disrupts the thinking pattern you were stuck in.

Following this with interest, realised through a friend that I may well have ADHD on the ADD side at the start of this year.  Reading the DSM-5 criteria was like reading who I am as a person after 41 years, a bunch of research, discussions with my partner of many years and and incredibly helpful in-depth chat with a GP has made me fairly certain I’m on the right path. I have been referred but I didn’t really want to take any medication.  It’s a little tough to explain why but despite certain frustrations I kinda quite like who I am, I figured being armed with the knowledge of ADD might help me to manage things a bit better and so far it has.  I’m definitely kinder to myself when i just cannot start something, or finish something, for example.

One of the toughest things has been a reconciliation of past events, all the way from primary school, high school, uni and work life.  Something random will kick off a train of thought back to an event and I end up going “oh, of course, now I understand”.  That can be quite tough to cope with.

How about some music therapy?

Placing my parlour guitar next to my armchair gives me feedback about just how much the diabetes and/ or myasthenia gravis has left me knackered.

also helps to record stuff with a cheapish dictaphone.

For everyone who’s shared on here I just want to say thanks. We’re just starting down the process of getting a diagnosis for our 6 year old and I’ve found some of the perspectives on here have given some really useful insight into how his brain works.

We gave up waiting for a NHS diagnosis and went privat during Covid lockdown.  Went that wayin the end for all his assessments

Took almost 18 months for my son’s diagnosis to come through and now we are looking at autism too.

During this process we (me) started realising that my wife may have the inattentive side of ADHD so she’s started the process. Always suffered from anxiety and I’m convinced that has come about as a result of her ADHD and trying to fit in (plus some other trauma situations).

Actually not been a great week for me, but have got a new insight on sources of Anxiety.

Monday and Tuesday, when I had some time off work, I got complete task paralysis. Finally managed to get some stuff going late on Tuesday, but then (as always) it runs into kids coming home and dinner time….once I’m on a task I struggle to stop

This morning my wife said she’s “off to Christine’s”, in fact has said this many times in the run up. I have no idea who Christine is or why my wife is going there, despite the fact that I’ve likely been told this many times. This incident is a minor thing for me. However, we are almost certain our 6yr old son has ADHD. I thought, what if this sort of thing is a regular occurrence for him? Literally not having any idea what is coming next. That is really going to ramp up anxiety

I’m currently reading this book and its been a great help, we are who we are – we just need to embrace the issues and use the superpowers we have! Looks like there is a kids version also.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Men-ADHD-Superpowers-Revolutionary-Relationships-ebook/dp/B0DD6J26QB/ref=sr_1_1?crid=DCC5CEEG91CH&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.htFT6MuAsNCKIXG58Ae5qKFHajd3U9-pzkbIo1Ttswt1p02gs1qGM293Y8dBtdwwTSp3eIYM2VeasFpYajYKjaKGNYckAmkbdLf_EDVsviq6PIkcZdC2Vy8EzGutzDEFNc2Kfw_Hu5G2Xb6C8PcUn9tY3rwsW_w1ihVGxcAKZWdhYUpiE7s3567hvRbQ1JwgmmSetbCCqrq7M9rFLHHGoDRZ1wOY6uPtHJWA70ruOAw.jBcAsVezvLCHXwURpn6dGJGItZQRJWb_chzdcDlMA6M&dib_tag=se&keywords=adhd+men+superpower&qid=1726160515&sprefix=adhd+men+superpower%2Caps%2C173&sr=8-1

So what systems/ software do people use to function at work (or home).

@jkomo  At a previous job, we used https://miro.com/ to track certain team projects and share ideas. I struggled with organisation, but I found it okay. You can add post notes and shit to things. It has pre-built Kanban boards, if that’s helpful. Mostly, we would chuck in ideas and images and shit to help with the flow of the task. I was creating training courses if that helps with understanding the context.