Thinking of leaving girlfriend or rather will be leaving

I last posted about how I was sick of living in a house full of animals and that she was texting another bloke.
Now I’ve decided I want to end it in the new year.
Now how do I go about making it as painless as possible. I pay for her car and council tax. I have threatened to leave in the past due to the whole disgusting living conditions and she sped home from work and tears and threats of my life ain’t worth living if you go etc. And I gave in and 12 months later the animal collection is bigger and she has denied the texting another bloke, threatening to smash her phone up etc.

Also I’m a bit apprehensive about going back to my mum’s at 29 year old and I’ve not been single since 2008.
Current relationship began two weeks after my previous relationship ended.

Any tips?

Assuming no kids, just go back to your mums and stop paying for her car.

Thing is I feel guilty about just moving out and leaving them to fund for themselves.

Assuming no kids….

Leave now, why hang around any longer and moving in with your mum (albeit temporarily) even at 29 is not an issue, in fact look at it as a positive, something to drive you on in your career so that you can move to another place.

If you are not happy, get out.

I’d not put up with half of what I’ve seen you mention on here.

She managed before you.She’ll find someone to help after you.

Thing is I feel guilty about just moving out and leaving them to fund for themselves.

She is responsible for her life and the decisions she makes.

You are responsible for your own life and you only get the one.

It is admirable that you worry, but it is not your problem. Go back to your mum, enjoy a bit of home cooking, rebuild your life.

Be selfish. Think about yourself only. Be cold. Think if you get guilt tripped to stay it will get harder next time and you’ll end up doing the same thing for the next 30 years.

But don’t be a dick. Maybe stop paying for stuff in a few months to give her time to make other arrangements.

Good luck!

In the long run, having a partner who wants out isn’t any good for her either.

Kinda no the right thing to do is just pack up and leave now. The house is a zoo. This time last year I was hopping around on crutches trying to pick up animal faeces. It stinks.
Most of the money is spent on feeding animals. bed falling to bits, cooker on the blink. Yet she wants to spendmoney building a custom vivarium for a bloody lizard.

My Mum wants me to come home tomorrow and my aunt has threatened to come and drag me out. Apparently I’ve turned from a well dressed outgoing lad to a scrubber.

My Mum wants me to come home tomorrow and my aunt has threatened to come and drag me out. Apparently I’ve turned from a well dressed outgoing lad to a scrubber.

There you go, you’re family are prepared to help you out.

Go.

Leave and a call to the RSPCA it doesn’t sound right.

You have already made your decision. Although it my seem cruel my advice would be leave now rather than go through a sham Xmas and New Year period.

You’re wasting hers and your time hanging around in a relationship you don’t want to be in. Don’t waste any more time, go.

Moving back in to your mum’s temporarily might not seem ideal, but trust me, there are plenty of people who haven’t even left home by the age of 29.
You get one shot at life, get out and get on with yours.

Sorry ‘in the new year’? Leave now. Its in your mind. The more in control/quicker you do it will make it easier for you. Itcwouldnt be a bolt out of the blue for her would it.

Get her to **** and the manky old boot can get on with failing at life and bringing you down too.

Been there. Regret not leaving after 2 weeks, let alone 2 years.

Dont let it burn you up inside but maybe prepare for the crazy post-dump actions of showing up at your mums/pissing on your doorstep etc etc.

I spent too long in a relationship I didn’t want anymore, I wasted 18 months of my life by hanging around feeling pity for someone. Just go, it will be hard and she will text etc all the time till she finds someone new. I assume your off over Xmas ? Be easier to do it now while your away from work so it will have less effect on your work life. If she cared she wouldn’t be texting another bloke, focus on that. Your age doesn’t matter about moving home, a mate is early 40s and has done the same.

The animal issue isn’t fair on the animals and is obvioisly a deeper issue which needs addressing.

After a split/divorce I moved back with my folks aged 38 for 12 months! Not easy but also not hard either. Let me get back on my feet emotionally & financially so don’t worry about that.

She’s a nut job – run away now.
It’s Christmas time, get yourself out and find some new distractions.
DO NOT pup her before you go.

leave, today.

or at least, start subtly moving stuff out – get a self-storage lockup if it helps.

It has made me realise when I looked at my bank account and saw a three figure sum instead of the usual four figure sum. Due to being off work with kidney stones, had it removed on Thursday. Back to work Monday and had two weeks off. And it will cover Bill’s just but leave me with no money to buy food. Yet If I didn’t pay her car I’d just about manage.

The animals are in good health but it’s a ocd 27 **** animals! Oki I have four snakes and a bearded Dragon but the rest are hers and her daughter’s.

I’m on nights over Christmas so because I won’t see her till boxing day due to her working 0745 – 1945 and me 2100-0700 (set off to work at 2000) i planned to stop at my mum’s anyway as it’s quieter than round here.

perfect, take bags of stuff* with you.

(*important stuff, that you wouldn’t want smashed, cut, burnt, etc)

pack a bag or 2 now.

LEAVE NOW BEFORE SHE SPRINGS THE BABY TRAP #MENTALIST

Leave now. you already made up your mind.

Pack your bags, grab your toothbrush and walk into a new life. Take car payment documents with you so you can cancel.
You have such a minuscule time on this planet you may as well be happy for yourself.
Her life will carry on, you do certain things in life for the good of yourself.
It will be hard, you will feel low, but it will get better.

Also, wait a bit longer after this breakup before you have another one.
If you can, block her number. If not, new phone time – get a cheap PAYG sim.
Suspend your Facebook account too.

Life is too short to waste. Get out move on and remember that you are being far meaner to her and yourself if you carry on with a relationship that is not working. So do not feel guilty about doing what is best.

She is a psycho hose beast. Run quickly and dont look back.

Get the hell out of there. You only have one life, don’t let it pass you by.

Then take some time to enjoy yourself before getting into another relationship.

Its good to show empathy but don’t let the guilt of leaving stop you…move out, the sooner the better. You’re young and you’ve no kids together, you gave it another shot by staying with her this year, your family support your decision so go and with a clear conscience. Good luck

😆

Is the car finance in your name, or do you just reimburse?

Given the 12 hr shifts, you have ample opportunity to get everything gone that’s important in that time

Get it done

I pay for her car and council tax. I have threatened to leave in the past due to the whole disgusting living conditions and she sped home from work and tears and threats of my life ain’t worth living if you go etc.

Can she afford not to have you there? That might be a big part of her concern.

If you’re desperately unhappy and want to be out of the relationship then leave asap.
Note that you will be guilt ridden for a while but it sounds like you need to walk away for your own health both physical and mental.
There are two sides to every story but if you’re genuinely beyond the point of no return then eevery day is just delaying the inevitable.

I split with my then-fiancee the week before my 30th and spent a year or so moping about being upset, drinking too much etc. It was really difficult adjusting to my new life so don’t think that it”ll all be flowers, chocolates, laughter etc on the other side.
Fortunately I met an amazing lady a few years later and now I’m happily married so it all worked out in the end.

I guess my message is do what you think is best for you.

Do one, with all your stuff ASAP, don’t waste any more of your life being miserable. I ended up back with my folks in my mid 20’s. Don’t get me wrong they are brilliant but once you’ve had your own space, it can be difficult too. Just my experience, I’d be looking for my own place sharpish.

Do the opposite of this

She admitted to me the other day she has £30 a day disposable income!!! I have £25 a day. If I didn’t pay for her car I’d have more. So yes she could afford to pay the car. Council tax I’m not on it as I don’t wish to fart about changing address from my mum’s. Or change my gp etc. But her daughter can pay that as she’s 18 now.

Both her and her daughter earn £1500 per month and £1100 with me earning just under £2000 per month.

Been single before from 2006-2008 and to be fair the first few months was hideous till I met my now best mate and we ended up going out on motorbikes each weekend then out on the Piss every other weekend.

He got married in 2009 was with my ex from 2008 till 2012 moved in together late 2011.

So I’ve been single before but seems like I have no mates left, the above mates now in the RAF, others are busy with young kids. Just me and a school mate left with no kids.

Get rid – you’ll meet other better people.