The Ugliest Mountainbikes of all time

All of these – *all of them* – pale into putrid insignificance compared to this magnificent beast…

Full suspension? No.
Hardtail? No.
eBike? No.
New brand, blank design sheet, ability to create a new image? Yes.

So there is no, no reasoning for this abomination. The Vastos.

Special mention to Devinci also.

All of these – *all of them* – pale into putrid insignificance compared to this magnificent beast…

What the hell… 😱

We have a winner. Half preying mantis, half super short wheelbase bike…

So, just to put the boot in on the mantra (which is definitely fugly) but also – that suspension design doesn’t suspend the pedals. So only offers rear suspension when seated…

When standing it works instead of suspension forks with the front end/bars suspended by the rear shock. So that spindly cargo fork is fine when standing…

Possibly the worst rear suspension design ever?

So, just to put the boot in on the mantra (which is definitely fugly) but also – that suspension design doesn’t suspend the pedals. So only offers rear suspension when seated…

When standing it works instead of suspension forks with the front end/bars suspended by the rear shock. So that spindly cargo fork is fine when standing…

Possibly the worst rear suspension design ever?

Wasn’t that same with all URT designs though?

All of these – *all of them* – pale into putrid insignificance compared to this magnificent beast…

Are we sure that’s even a bicycle?

Are we sure that’s even a bicycle?

Other photos don’t help it 🤢

The steering is done by about 15 million cables from the stem to the hub, jeez that must feel “nice”

All of these – *all of them* – pale into putrid insignificance compared to this magnificent beast…

It’s not eligible seeing as it’s not one bike, but the back halves of two different bikes that have been bolted together at random.

Jesus, I Googled for that monstrosity above, found this.
https://www.vitalmtb.com/features/Scariest-Bikes-of-All-Time,804

Wasn’t that same with all URT designs though?

Most URT designs put the pivot somewhere around the BB area for minimal effect on the sitting/standing thing.

By putting the pivot WAY up there, Klein deliberately turned their FS into a ‘FS when sitting/semi hardtail when standing’ bike. You could actually run.the Mantra with a rigid fork and the high pivot would act like a sort of hinge, offering suspension front and rear at the expense of the bike feeling like it was folding up underneath you…

Seemed like a good idea at the time I suppose. Plus they were certainly distinctive.

Ugh, is that a 29er? Gross!

By putting the pivot WAY up there, Klein deliberately turned their FS into a ‘FS when sitting/semi hardtail when standing’ bike. You could actually run.the Mantra with a rigid fork and the high pivot would act like a sort of hinge, offering suspension front and rear at the expense of the bike feeling like it was folding up underneath you…

Yeah, that makes sense, although I’d heard that claim about URT before the Mantra arrived I think.

bensales
Free Member
As someone incurably stuck in the 90s with regard to mountain bikes, I reckon everything made in the last ten years is ugly.

Agree.

When I were a lad the seat post and head tube angle would be roughly the same (visually anyway).
So these new fangled L-L-S beauties where the head angle is significantly slacker than the seat angle, look to this old fart like they’ve been sat on by an elephant and had their wheelbase splayed out.

Seeing the Paperclip bike gives me a warm fuzzy feeling 😀

My Planet X Armadillo wasn’t exactly a looker.

Wait, that FL-01 is nearly ten years old? Holy shit, I thought it was a modern thing that students had done to prove a point.

I mean, I like part of the look, but…

I would like to nominate the LLS bikes lots of you are currently riding. To me they look like they are disjointed, I don’t dispute that they work well, but they do look wrong.

All of these – *all of them* – pale into putrid insignificance compared to this magnificent beast…

reminds me of that Oppenheimer quote after realising what he had unleashed on the world

So these new fangled L-L-S beauties where the head angle is significantly slacker than the seat angle, look to this old fart like they’ve been sat on by an elephant and had their wheelbase splayed out.

THIS! ^^

I would like to nominate the LLS bikes lots of you are currently riding. To me they look like they are disjointed, I don’t dispute that they work well, but they do look wrong.

Whereas I think they look “normal” now and bikes from 10 years ago look primitive and clunky.

See what I mean.

Knolly – any of them but especially this

i always wanted a cannondale raven f4000 with the lefty fork (and still do if i’m being honest lol)

i always loved the whyte prst-1 too (on a mtb group ride one time someone had one of them) i just love the engineering behind it as to what it was trying to do (no brake jack etc). it reminded me of the yamaha and bimota hub centre steering motorcycles from back in the 90’s.

as for ugly bikes well am not keen on bikes that have a wheelbase that crosses 2 counties tbh.

All of these – *all of them* – pale into putrid insignificance compared to this magnificent beast…

Looks like a transformer that’s stuck mid transform. Probably a Go-Bot because they were really shit, useless and ugly.

Really not keen on the new Boardman FS bikes. Even in the flesh they have as much appeal as a cold cup of sick.

This generic fatbike, sold under many different names is just… wrong.

Holy standover!

That’s what I can see @kayak23

The original version of this was even more gopping BITD. 😁
Rob, who created it, is (or used to be) on here sometimes. A face only a mother could love. 😜

I was actually just thinking about that downhill bike 🙂. He was using the Sachs groupset stuff iirc, 1995 ish I think. There was also a guy that used to come over for UK races from Netherlands or Belgium with monocoque aluminium frames.

Wait, that FL-01 is nearly ten years old? Holy shit, I thought it was a modern thing that students had done to prove a point.

I ‘designed’ a FS mountain bike with front swing arm suspension as my first industrial design project at university 29 years ago, BiMoto inspired. What really dated it was the ‘Cosworth 2×2 drive’😂 TBF it was the 90s and it still looked way better than that ^

Two pics in the last 5 posts proove me right. Both the Marin and the Ibis Ebike are truly awful. There has been a fella on marketplace trying to shift the Marin for nearly 6 months and he has to add in the post ‘NOT AN EBIKE’ It’s that bad. I think the the Ibis Mojo HD3’s were nice then when The AF came out everything went south. The old Marin wolf ridge were a funky looking thing as well.

I’m an Orange fanboy but gotta agree the Ebike is no looker, the old 26er Five’s ect looked weird in larger frame sizes too. I dont really like the Geometrons looks either TBH, Fantastic bikes though none the less.

FWIW I think the orange ebike is one of the best looking ebikes out there- the massive chonkyness plays well with orange’s slabby aesthetic, better than it does with most curvy bikes.

But then, I owned this so what do I know?

Possibly the worst rear suspension design ever?

Possible competition:

That climber on the shed could do with a drink.

Special mention to Devinci also.

Was that abomination called the Devinci Escher?

I’m looking for a decent secondhand bike for my 11 year old at the moment. He needs a medium sized bike. All of the FS bikes in our price range looks so terrible.

Extra ugliness marks for anything with an externally routed dropper.

Gary Fisher’s Joshua were a thing of beauty at the time and also super light weight compared to other full suspension offerings. The URT design did give some float when standing.

This was the era of the Whyte, Cannondale Super V / Raven and Proflex though.

looking back now, it hasn’t aged well, especially in the more garish colours.

Gary Fisher’s Joshua were a thing of beauty at the time

I’m sorry, they were what???