The Rare Fettler (mindless claptrap content)

well, I keep it clean(ish), I have too as I live in a flat and have carpeted stairs (under the mud flakes) but I’m not a great one for regular fettling, I know some of you are serial fettlers, rarely happier than surrounded by your bike in component form immersed within in a cloud of GT-85, me? I’ll do it, but only when I really really need to. I’m beginning to think that this approach is not really getting the best out of my poor bike.
Todays session involved sorting out my recently applied rear mech, I put it on just before going to cwmcarn last and then I had only just about set it up to give me the occasional gear! still it got me around and I figured that was a bonus! Now the poor metal horse had been stabled during this god forsaken freeze we’ve just emerged from and I figured I’d treat it to a new chain, put it on (a coupe of weeks ago) and today rode a couple of miles to sainsburys to get some milk, ghost shifting most of the way, missing gears the rest. Got home, striped it all off, greased, tickled and poked and managed to put it all back together again with no extra bits left over!
took it out only to see that it still wasn’t right, checked the chain length, now I’d just sized the chain against the old one and threw it on thinking that it couldn’t have grown that much in a year, but bugger me! it was about 3 links too long?!?! how does that happen then?? how long would it take to grow another chain from all these "magic links" than keep appearing?!? odd. (SRAM PC991)
So that was the chain sorted, then the mechs (SRAM x9) that wasn’t too much of a faff but there was still something wrong, now I’d been plagued by a draggy feeling and some noises which I was beginning to think were coming from my bottom bracket (rf) but on closer inspection it turned out to be my front mech (Deore) that was caressing my chain as it ran around, after descending into the world of insanity that is front mech adjustment (which I don’t think I’m yet to recover from and still is likely to haunt me) I got the bugger to lay off it and behave properly, WHAT A DIFFERENCE! now when I put some power into my pedals I’m actually moving forwards rather than breaking into a sweat and cursing my love of pastry! so all in all a successful bit of bi-annual maintenance, oh and if you bothered to read all of the above; I’m sorry, I can’t give you those 2 minutes of your life back! but like me and my lazy approach to bike loving, we really should have known better!

summary?

mindless claptrap.

glad I’m not the only one staring helplessly at those bedsheet size Shimano instructions – hard enough to find the correct language amongst the Polynesian and Urdu….

I resorted to the Hayes book of lies!

Ha ha!

(Laughs in a nasty and cruel manner, points unkindly)

Sorry to say it, mate, but exactly how long did you expect that Halfords Special cut-and-shut job to last? Now, were you to actually get a decent bike (such as a Rock lobster 853, f’rinstance), then you would be able to enter the world of having a bike that isn’t sh1t.

And to be honest, coupled with your mechanical ineptitude, I’d say biking isn’t for you, really. Probably best you just give up, and take up Bingo or something, instead. More your intellectual level. Plus, you can’t fall off, playing Bingo.

Sorry, but it had to be said. I’m sure everyone else agrees with me. Even your wife does.

nutt, ss 29r is your answer, on the bike to work scheme.

not much to look after there.

I mean, look at it:

Proper mash-up an’ ben’-up an ting. Just give up mate.

tis sarcin’ innit

Don’t try pretending your bike’s better than it really is.

Sarcin? You can only dream of Sarcin…

Plus, you can’t fall off, playing Bingo

I think you’ll find T’hora managed that once 😯

I know some of you are serial fettlers, rarely happier than surrounded by your bike in component form immersed within in a cloud of GT-85

That’s me, that is.
🙂

Hilldodger, no need for that.

That poor little dog.. 🙁