The pre-weekend bickering thread. The perfect crisp butty?

Bollocks to your list.

😆

Warburton’s, thick cut corned beef, pickled onion monster munch.

..does sound very interesting, but sounds a bit dry?

Bollocks to your list.

Your name has just been underlined.

Excellent

😆

The perfect crisp butty for me has to be cheap white bread and salt and vinegar or prawn cocktail Walkers. Marge, not butter for extra cheap filthiness. Although to be fair, every single thing posted so far sounds pretty epic… 😳 I think my relationship with food is taking a turn for the dysfunctional..

Warburton’s white toastie, Lurpack, Salt & Vinegar crisps. That is all.

I’m in the Soft White Toastie bread, butter S & V crisps (Sensations!!) and extra mature cheddar camp – actually the cheddar is not really necessary. Oh and beer helps too or a nice cup of tea!!

Did someone say they’d never had a crisp butty……Very sad!!! Where are these people from (somewhere south & posh perhaps)

Although thinking about it soft white bloomer with a nice chewy crust would also be very acceptable!

somewhere south & posh perhaps

I’m a southerner (hiding in the North), from a posh upbringing and I was fully aware of the art of crisp sarnies, so can’t be that. Agreed though, very sad.

In fact, my late teenage years were blessed with… the findus lasagne sandwich, but I’m not sure STW is ready to be exposed to such hedonism.

Ciabatta, with black pepper kettle crisps….with a big slice of smoked salmon, topped off with creme freche!

Ooh, get her!

Any butty can be improved with the application of crisps. Possibly with the exception of the Pie Sandwich, but that’s not merely a butty, rather Michelin standard* gastronomy.

*Pilot Super Sport rather than Energy Saver+

Any butty can be improved with the application of crisps. Possibly with the exception of the Pie Sandwich, but that’s not merely a butty, rather Michelin standard* gastronomy.

Macaroni cheese pie on plain white…food of the cholesterol gods.

Salt and vinegar for me with far to much proper butter and tiger bread.
Dirty is a pot noodle chicken and mush on bread with cheese triangle on the side.

Once the top slice is on, do you “flatten” or not?

Warburton’s, thick cut corned beef, pickled onion monster munch.

..does sound very interesting, but sounds a bit dry?

I should have mentioned a thin spread of butter. If that is still too dry for your taste, try a smudge of Branston pickle.

You have to flatten. That’s why it has to be Warbies Toastie loaf. Being from Bolton, It almost challenges you to flatten it by questioning your sexuality if you don’t, then calling your pint a puff, and slapping your other half’s arse!

lashings of red pepper hummus & salt ‘n’ vinegar crisps.

Ladies and gentleman, we have just reached peak STW.

Possibly with the exception of the Pie Sandwich, but that’s not merely a butty, rather Michelin standard* gastronomy.

Ah yes, the Wigan Kebab. Aka spud pie on’t bap. Because whilst erstwhile piemasters, Wiganers are weaker on their bread vocabulary.

You have to flatten.

Why is this even a question? We’re dealing with Southerners again aren’t we Binners.

I blame the parents

You are all wrong!

White bread – warburtons
Burtoli with butter
Strong cheddar
The strongest pawn cocktail crisps you can lay hands on. Non multipack walkers or prawn cocktail Pringles

The cheddar and prawn cocktail – umami ftw

Ps – anyone else notice how weedy multipack walkers are compared to single bags? massively less flavoring

Warbutons white bread
Lurpak
Potted meat
Seabrooks Beefy crisps

Or grated cheddar and walkers cheese and onion

Anything less than a full bag of crisps in the sandwich is a wasted opportunity.

Butter
Beef crisps
Ham
Brown sauce

You bunch of bloody heathens.

It should be an artisan, sour dough, bloomer, multigrain naturally spread with dairy, fat, salt and flavour free spread and a low fat baked snack flavoured with ginseng and tofu.

It should be gently compressed and carefully sliced with silver cutlery and savoured with a glass of Chablis and a copy of the Guardian.

If you simply must have a condiment then a light jus and some hand pickled vegetables.

Warburtons white toastie
Beefy Seabrook
Proper butter
Flattened.

Nothing else. No cheese, no sauce, no mayo, no ham and definitely no corned bloody beef.

Beefy Seabrook

On The List, underlined and crossed out.

I’m just going to come straight out and say it.

I’ve never had a crisp butty.

Hold on whilst I get my highlighter pen…

Can’t do a crisp butty at all. Chip butty though – totally different story.

Do you lot down there get rolls like we do? ie morning rolls from the newsagent with your papers? If so – roll, lurpak, salt n vinegar.

I’m thinking about this for breakfast now.

And also best eaten just after a bar of dairy milk.

🙄 Rolls?……certainly not!

A visit to the local Baker later to pick up a multi seed loaf and if I’m feeling especially hungry, a large white bloomer or Danish.

What?! No beetroot?

Seriously your industrial CBP ‘bread’ ain’t bread. Really.

Besides baps or softies are much better. And you need real butter too.

Sea brooks, McCoy or (at a push) Golden Wonder. Preferably S&V but C&O if you’re feeling ‘adventurous’.

Any further addition of a (semi) liquid substance just shows you were taken off yer mammies breast too early and need to MTFU.

You’re ALL on the chuffin list!

Bregante – Member

I’m just going to come straight out and say it.

I’ve never had a crisp butty.

But…. but…. you mean that all this time we’ve had one in our midst? You’ve even eaten pies with us. And actively participated in the ‘which pub has the best crisps?” debate!

I just feel so…. so…. betrayed

Burn the witch!

I just thought I’d resurrect this in light of a failed experiment I’ve just conducted, involving a white barm, a cheese single and a packet of these….

I’ve just introduced the binnerettes to them, as they are now ready for the most saltandvinergary and teeth-watery snack in the world (with the possible exception of the much revered Disco heavy hitter). So it seemed perfect for a crisp butty.

I’m struggling to find the words to fully vocalise my disappointment. So I won’t. I’ve had a little cry, and with gods help I can overcome this setback.

Theres just not enough substance to the Chipstick to hold its own in a crisp butty. I know that the purists would say that this applies to all non potato based snacks, but the Monster Munch surely disproves that?

Anyway.. don’t repeat my mistakes. Its just not worth it. i’ve got to try and make it through the day now. I’ve not just let myself down….

@binners – I see what your problem is there. You’ve tried to substitute the inferior corn based Chipstick for the oily potatoey goodness of these……If only they were still available they would have sorted you right out.

Cheap white sliced.
Ready salted.

2 slices of whatever bread you like, the bread is not important here.

Build as follows.

Bread
Marg/butter
Coleslaw
Sliced gherkins
slice of cheese
ham
salt and vinegar walkers
brown sauce
Marg/butter
Bread

Theres just not enough substance to the Chipstick to hold its own in a crisp butty.

Now you see, I think I know where you’ve gone wrong here. You’ve overbreaded.

The Chipstick butty does work, but you need a similarly flimsy outer shell. I’d hazard that even the mighty orange Warby’s is overkill here, and you may need to venture into <sotto voice> Medium Sliced Hovis </sotto voice> territory.

Also, chips need ketchup.

Warburton’s toatie bread
Sliced hard boiled egg
Helmans mayo. Full fat, none of that light shite.
Salt and vinegar crisps.

Nom nom nom.

bongohoohaa…..

Sliced gherkins?
Coleslaw?

Cougar – I was thinking I may have overkilled on the bread. It clearly needs a more delicate and subtle approach. I shall give it a go and report back. It does seem a shame to give up on the chipstick

I find that giving them a quick squidge down helps with structural integrity also. You know you’ve got it right when the top slice is bumpy.