1. ‘The North’ is a weird dreamscape devised by ‘proud northerners’ which begins approximately two miles to the south of wherever they happen to be. Mostly it’s in their heads.
2. The above is superceded in any location roughly to the south of Stoke on Trent, which cannot under any circumstances be ‘The North’, once you get beyond that, it’s a moveable feast.
3. Particularly charismatic northerners sit at the centre of a small sphere of ‘northernness’ which exists regardless of their geographic location and is sustained by them grumbling endlessly about how much better it is ‘oop north’. This can happen anywhere in the world, except in ‘The North’.
The true North is effectively defined then as the point where ‘true northerners’s stop grumbling about how much better it would be if they were up north because, in their heads they are already there.
Finally, you can cut through all the above by remembering the central tenet of northernness, ‘It’s grim oop north’. In other words, if it’s grim, it’s probably The North.