The most painful thing in the world

Jumped off a window ledge around 6 feet up and landed on the outside of my left ankle. The most horrific tearing and snapping sound preceded me puking and screaming. Major breakage, ligament damage and severe blood loss.

Happened 26 years ago, my left ankle is still ever so slightly swollen….

It smarted a bit

Worst for me was last week when I had anesthetic injected in to my cuts on my top lip not once but twice. 😯 🙁

i here by declare this thread of the week!
salt onto an ulcer is my favourite

LOL @ CharlieMungus

Anyway, I have another one that doesn’t include stilts.
When I was 18 I was shot… Single pellet from a shotgun hit me in the chin (guy fired through a hedge). Pellet hit was like a punch, bled like a shaving cut. That wasn’t the bad bit.
Ended up in casualty (always remove foreign objects etc), they pulled down my bottom lip then cut down using a scalpel – no anashetic as I had to ‘feel’ where there pellet was. It’s where I learned the whole sea of pain and you’re in a boat metaphor actually. Ended up in shock.

Damn! I’m actually gritting my teeth reading some of this… Which leads me nicely onto +1 for toothache.

Had an abcess many years ago and eventually, when the left side of my face had a tennis ball sized lump on it, I packed myself off to the emergency dentist. He did his level best (evil sadist with murderer’s hands and big, greasy beard).

He managed to get half the tooth out and left the remaining spiky bits sticking up into my swollen gum. The pain was truly exquisite. He reckoned nothing more could be done until the swelling went down and sent me home.

After a few hours of sitting with my head in my hands, rocking back and forth and moaning, I got my Swiss Army knife out, sterilised the spike on the back with a lighter and set to work. It only took ten minutes to remove the shards of tooth. Very nearly passed out more than once, but within half an hour, the swelling was almost gone, the bleeding had stopped and pain levels were back to a gentle throb, rather than screaming agony. I could certainly cut off my own arm if it was trapped under a boulder 🙂

Inspection camera thingy up the old chap and into the bladder.

The doctor assured me it was a small fibre optic jobber……it felt like the freaking Hubble telescope.

He also had to inflate my bladder. Imagine being so desperate for a pee it hurts to the point of doubleing you over. Yet every time you try all you manage to do is expel a little air, like it was a presta valve. All very uncomfortable.

Toothache is horrible though.

Excellent work user-removed! Field surgery is always impressive. My wife took her own c-section staples out with a pair of pliers, I’ve no idea whether or not it hurt as I was instructed to go out for the duration of the process.

you know those kinder surprise eggs? with the plastic capsule inside?

i blew into the little hole in the end of it, to try and literately blow it apart. strained both my cheeks with the effort.

that hurt.

I’ve had a leg waxed for a laugh, don’t see what the fuss is about myself. It’s not really painful is it? It’s not like toothache or severe migraine or kidney colic.

I’ve just had a weekend with this stuck under my cheek,
[/url]
toothache[/url] by Jon Wyatt[/url], on Flickr

….that smarted a bit but I’m sure open heart surgery hurts a lot more.

Please MTFU you lot, it’s embarrassing.

ha, big bags of jey..!

vasectomies gone wrong. scrotum like a big black and purple pineapple with corrugated drains sticking out the side. nurses sent me in to ‘sort it’. my how they they laughed.

fournier’s gangrene/necrotising fascitis of the old chap. resulting in a cockectomy. two words you never want to see in a sentence – knife and penis.

and for the girls. bilateral bartholins cysts. like the nads on a pig. despite not having the equipment it looked eye watering painful.

but the most painful thing. a peyronie’s disease repair. circumcise then fingers down the side and skin it like a chicken. and that’s before the proper cutting begins. i refer you to my previous statement re knives and penises

big bunch of wimps… i once bit my tongue and didnt even cry.

set fire to a large portion of your body

once the excitement wears off, your brain goes into such a detached state that it is like you can’t properly articulate how much it hurts. Then it’s only the additional aftershocks of dressing changes to look forward to, every day, for the next few weeks.

You want pain? Try having an RCT done when the block doesn’t work and the dentist has to inject local anasthetic into the exposed root of your tooth. That stings a bit.

Or how about breaking both bones in your arm, then having to walk out of the woods to a van, being driven to an RAF Med Center, waiting, then being driven to a hospital where you wait, with no painkillers until three hours have passed. Then the fun starts to wear of quickly.

Back waxing? Pah… Lightweight.

I had a REALLLY nasty papercut about a week ago. Bled for about 10 minutes.

Having said that, I broke my wrist quite badly about 5 years ago and didn’t think it hurt too badly. Would have carried on to work if the police hadn’t insisted I at least get it looked at.

It’s got an assortment of B&Q’s finest metalwork in it now and is fine, apart from one spot on the inside of my wrist that makes me drop anything I’m holding if someone touches it.

Having your nipple pierced smarts a bit. Motorbike accident resulting in a pelvis broken in five places, three busted ribs, torn scrotum (sorry) AND had a (suspected) heart attack due to trauma – that was a hurty to remember. Have to agree with ton though (seriously) – toothaches an utter b*****d of a pain.

had to poke my left nut back in on sunday after an unwanted granny ring wheelie made my fizik gobi pop it out of sight, it gave me the good old gut ache for a few mins, i now have a bruise from trying to poke it back down with a gloved hand,

My wife and my supervisor agree that gallstones are more painful than giving birth.

Shingles is the worst pain I’ve experience, but that was dealt with by Codeine so can’t be that bad.

Having said that, I broke my wrist quite badly about 5 years ago and didn’t think it hurt too badly

Wierd that isn’t it. I broke my arm snowboarding a few years ago (basically snapped my forearm in half (didn’t look nice all flopped to one side).

Didn’t really hurt as much as I thought it would…more of a painful ache rather than the agony I expected.

My wife and my supervisor agree that gallstones are more painful than giving birth.

Do gallstones look like little round rocks? There were about 5 of various sizes (from small to 5/10mm diameter) in one of the urinals at work a few weeks ago. I can’t imagine someone quietly squeezing them out!

getting cramp in the leg that I’d just had 3 bolts inserted into my broken hip smarted a bit.

Problem was that the scar was about 5″ long and the muscles contracting was pulling all the internal and external stitches apart.

Do gallstones look like little round rocks? There were about 5 of various sizes (from small to 5/10mm diameter) in one of the urinals at work a few weeks ago. I can’t imagine someone quietly squeezing them out!

That would be some trick passing gallstones through your penis.

In March 1987 I was being lifted into an ambulance with a compound fracture of my right femur and knee with the end of my femur sticking out due to the angle of my leg to the rest of me and this woman who was carrying the drip tripped and hit the exposed end of my femur.

That was ****’ sore and still makes me wince to this day

Most painful thing for me was having an abcess under my tooth and no access to decent painkillers.

Thankfully, touch wood, I have not broken a bone yet so can’t comment on that.

Oh, I did burn my leg badly with a bowl of boiling hot semolina when I was a boy and that was very sore.

I met a bloke in New Zealand who’d had the following happen;

he fell down an earth bank whilst out shooting with freinds and breoke both femurs.

They managed to get the landrover to him and him in the back but because it was a SWB his legs stuck 6″ out beyond the end of the ‘bed’ in the back so they had to tie the rear door open and drive with his legs sticking out the end.

As they did the first corner the string holding the door open snapped and it swung closed onto his feet – forcing his feet back far enough that it slammed shut.

He said he did pass out fairly quickly but having his thoigh bones overlapping for half their length did hurt a bit.

I believe Viz magazine decided that a “papercut to the helmet” was the worst pain known to man

Can’t believe this has got to page three and no-one has mentioned trapping your foreskin in your zip… Officially the most painful thing that can happen to a human. It’s not so bad as you zip it up coz’ it happens so quick and your weren’t expecting it. It’s when you look down at the mangled wreckage and realise you’re gonna have to unzip it……

(Must be more painful than childbirth as no man ever does this more than once, and they never do it by choice!)

I once cycled with a tyre logo / valve misaligned.

wwaswas wins it for me – holy s*** that must have hurt!! 😯

Spiceworld

Compartment syndrome of the thigh due to internal bleeding hurts a fair bit…

Apparently even morphine won’t do much for it, and the several doses of tramadol that I had certainly didn’t help.

Kidney stones x1000

However the inevitable introduction of opiates does help a little.

First time I had them, the wife drove me to the out of hours in a blind panic, me in the foetal position in the back seat.. she hit every speed bump at about 60 cheering me up no end.

Two broken ribs and hayfever for me. Results of a motorcycle accident in late spring. Ouchy.

MrsG will concur with the votes in favour of gall stones. She had our two kids without any anaesthetic (well gas/air for the first. **** all for the second) and would rather go through child birth again.

To settle the argument once and for all, I give you………(unsurprisingly – contains swearing)

trapping your foreskin in your zip

I lost half my foreskin doing exactly that on my third day at primary school..

all the staff panicked a bit and called my folks… my stepdad turned up at the school armed with pliers and did an emergency unzip..

Mine’s my shoulder overextension/slight dislocation thing after a high speed otb. Something popped out then back in again as I stood up. Then as I shut my car door it popped out again so had to re-set it before driving home (one handed 🙁 ).