[Closed] The apprentice.

Genuine bullshit

😆

The buys are murdering the French language good and proper.

[img] [/img]

Sugar won't like the toy boat!

It said an inflatable boat.

Remember the medical skeleton thing from last year !

[img] [/img]

Remember the medical skeleton thing from last year !

Yeah he asked for a medical one. It was worth a gamble.

[img] [/img]

[quote=Drac ]
Yeah he asked for a medical one. It was worth a gamble.

And they bought a medical one. Sugar didn't like the fact that it was made from paper.

Boom! The toy boat wins the day 🙂

[img] [/img]

The girls team leader, even by the standard of this program, is a whole different level of vile!

They'll keep her in just so everyone can hate her even more

Thats the eye candy gone .

Nahhhhhh boy 🙂

Varna is hideous.
Her eyes are almost touching too.

[img] [/img]

Binners has it. I thought she'd be a shoe in to go, but then remembered that they always keep the truly awful ones in. Just annoys me looking at her, let alone the sound that come out of that Botox botch job of a mouth.

I can't see a single useful candidate this time around

If I was Alan I'd be worried, very worried. What a shambles his task turned out to be, for all concerned.

Possibly THE most entertaining series on TV

m360 - Member

If I was Alan I'd be worried, very worried. What a shambles his task turned out to be, for all concerned.

What's he got to be worried about? The £250K is most likely covered by his fee for the programme and associated income, he gets loads of publicity and gets to massage his massive 'Lord Sugar' ego.

As for the candidates, if they were any good they'd still be doing what they are doing (they all claim to be 'extremely successful') rather than showing themselves up on TV. None of them can really sell in the context of understanding customer requirements and offering a solution, it's just market trading, throw enough mud and some of it will stick type stuff. Just imagine day 1 with Lord Sugar and getting your IT equipment - "Good morning sir, welcome to Lord Sugar Ltd, here's your new Viglen laptop and Amstrad emailer phone."

It's 'reality' TV entertainment (and in most parts, good at it), nothing more.

Didn't Lord S* make most of his moolah riding high off the London real estate boom of the last 20 odd years?

Not sure he's especially qualified to hire the socially dysfunctional - pretty much every business manages to do that every day!

I used to hate it (in the same way I still hate the dragons' den) but now just laugh at the well edited displays of magnificent asshattery by the wide boys, spivs and shrill orange ball busters.

*reputedly when he was "merely" a knight if the realm he used to sign off his emails "Sir A"

[i]*reputedly when he was "merely" a knight if the realm he used to sign off his emails "Sir A"[/i]

I understood that he insisted that everyone refer to him as "Sir Alan"

Horrid people, horrid show

Didn't Lord S* make most of his moolah riding high off the London real estate boom of the last 20 odd years?

That's where he made his big money IIRC (fair play to him though, he's minted, however he did it).

Reality is a little different from TV though, his offices reside in Brentwood Essex, rather than in The City / Canary Wharf.

[img] [/img]

What a lovely charterer she came across as! It comes to something where you can stand out as being particularly obnoxious on the Apprentice. I loved the bit last night where one of the other girls was talking, and she just nonchalantly held her hand up to her face to shush her, mid sentence.

There was a shocked gasp from Mrs B that point, then she proclaimed "If anyone ever did that to me, I'd break their ****ing arm!" 😆

"If it had been in English , it would have said wholemeal" 😯

Is wholemeal cheese even a thing?... and it was clearly written on the paper in both English and French. WT actual F?

"If it had been in English , it would have said wholemeal"

Is wholemeal cheese even a thing?... and it was clearly written on the paper in both English and French. WT actual F?

"I'm a strong believer in karma." Enjoy burning in hell. 😀

Is it just me who finds one of the more shocking aspects of the whole thing is that Karen Brady is a baroness

Is it just me who finds one of the more shocking aspects of the whole thing is that Karen Brady is a baroness

Alan Sugar is a Lord. Make enough money and shove enough of it in the right directions...

I understood that he insisted that everyone refer to him as "Sir Alan"

I'd heard that he was once on a telly debate and some chap kept calling him Alan.
"It's Sir Alan " said Sir A.

"Well, if we're playing titles, you had better call me Lord X" replied Lord X...

Another few mill bung, and Lord S will have leapfrogged him. 😯

PEN! Holds out hand.
I really wanted her to go. Really really wanted her to go.
My favourite has to be the older lady with the bright suit.

My favourite has to be the older lady with the bright suit.

We were saying last night that there's clearly been some terrible error in the vetting process, and an actual human being has made it onto the show. Maybe they they thought they'd try it, just for the novelty value.

She seems genuinely likable in a completely hatstand type of way

PEN! Holds out hand.
I really wanted [s]her to go[/s] someone to stab her in the palm.

FIFY 😆

I was trying to think who she reminds me of. And its just come to me.....

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

We were saying last night that there's clearly been some terrible error in the vetting process, and an actual human being has made it onto the show. Maybe they they thought they'd try it, just for the novelty value.

She seems genuinely likable in a completely hatstand type of way

my wife knows the Brummie lad who bought the toy dinghy. she worked with him for 12 months at IBM. says he's a really nice down to earth bloke...it remains to be seen if he comes across as such on TV though

Just watched this - surprised the plush lipped woman who bought the boat got blamed as she was ordered to by Daffy - got to do what the boss orders you to do right?

I'm sure every year they have to get someone who looks like a Riddler.

2014:

[img] [/img]

2015:

[img] [/img]

2016:
[img] [/img]

Slow start tonight.

I'm also out of sync by 15 minutes due to have to make work phone calls and emails. 🙁

Lord Sugar was in a trigger happy mood last night....i thought there would be more....is disappoint 😥

Just watched it, but ur fired is very funny

but ur fired is very funny

i wasnt sure how that would pan out. i thought Dara was great but i'm now starting to warm to Jack Dee and Romesh Ranganathan's clever humour

It was the right call firing Elle, she was absolutely useless, not sure she understands what she does for a living, part of me suspects she is in daddy's business because no one else would have her.

It was the right call firing Elle, she was absolutely useless, not sure she understands what she does for a living, part of me suspects she is in daddy's business because no one else would have her.

i think you might be right...

Elle Stevenson
Age: 21
Occupation: Operations Executive, Construction
Lives: London
Elle describes herself as a "geezer bird" and says she is effervescent, passionate and maybe "a little insane". Though she’s the youngest candidate of the group, she says those who know her would say she is older than her years. As well as teaching herself fluent Latin, she lists her biggest business achievement to date as her previous role as Operations Director of a construction company at just 20 years old. She cites Taylor Swift as her business inspiration, calling her "the best businesswoman of the 21st century".
She says: “I hate anything mediocre – I can’t be middle. I hate being the person that comes second... I’ve never been the person that comes second. I’d rather be the one who fell over at the start of the race and never make it to the finish line.”

her previous role as Operations Director of a construction company at just 20 years old

I love this classic bulls&*t. Who becomes an 'Ops Director' at 20 unless you are bonafide genius, or have your own/family business where you can call yourself what you like whilst having no experience whatsoever. I'd wager almost 100% of future Ops Directors or similar are still in education at 20, let alone starting the journey up the career ladder.

It never ceases to amaze how a collection of 'ahem' 'directors', 'executives' and 'business leaders' find it genuinely difficult to talk coherently, use basic maths, articulate a true business benefit, overcome objection, manage a team etc etc.

Perhaps a more realistic bio;

Elle Stevenson
Age: 21
Occupation: Daughter of Owner, Construction
Lives: With Mum and Dad, London
Elle describes herself as a "bit wishy-washy" and says she is clueless but "that doesn't matter as long as people think you know what you are doing". Though she’s the youngest candidate of the group, she says those who know her would say she is no more stupid than the rest of them. As well as teaching herself fluent 'business-speak', she lists her biggest business achievement to date as her previous role flouncing around whilst everyone else wonders what she does at a construction company at just 20 years old. She cites Taylor Swift as her business inspiration, calling her "the best pop-singer of the 21st century, even better than Harry Styles from One Direction".
She says: “I'm mediocre – I can’t be middle. I hate being the person that comes second... I’ve never been the person that comes second, I usually forget to turn up, in fact what am I doing here? Wibble."

Great episode. Sugar's prejudicial sterotypes are falling like flies.

I vote the bloke who says 'specification' a lot to win

^^^ LMAO!! 😆
razorrazoo should re-write the rest of the candidates statements!!

I vote the bloke who says 'specification' a lot to win

Is that the ex-forces bloke who can't speak basic English. Instead of "We spoke to.." he said something like "We conducted a differential two-way exchange of alternating viewpoints which resulted in us not achieving our primary objective of purchasing said products.."

(I'm making that up, but it was similarly ridiculous.)

Yup that's him 🙂

He hasn't said 'passionate' yet or 'so much more to give'

Spot on. As I said to my wife last night, he talks like he swallowed one of those nonsense corporate manuals.

He used the most ridiculous sentence to say "we gave him a quote". Can't remember exactly what it was but pretty sure its the same example you're thinking of above.

He used the most ridiculous sentence to say "we gave him a quote". Can't remember exactly what it was but pretty sure its the same example you're thinking of above.

yep....he "formulated" a lot of corporate bollocks speak yesterday

i dont think he will win....he doesn't fit Lord Sugars specification.

Again, because it seems like i'm alone in my household with this...

[phone rings]Lord Sugar's on the 'ol dog and bone, he wants you in your best whistle and dahhn the battle cruiser in thirty minutes[/phone gets put down]

Great. We've got 30 miutes to get ready. Quick, let's cook waffles/have a luxurious bubble bath, iron our tie, style up our moustaches, polish our shoes etc etc...

If someone told anyone in our house that a fleet of T5's were gonna be outside in half an hour, it would be >5min curling one out, 10min fiding something presentable to throw on, and the rest of the tome telling each other to get out of the ****ing way.

Back on topic, the spiv done well last night. 'Gun show' builder will be dining off the time Sralan told him he could do his bathroom....and Brady can **** off after her vote on tax credits the other week.

How come ol' Sugar opens the door on his car to get out, doesn't he pay his driver enough to get out and open his door?

I want to know why they always meet him as he's coming out of the bogs.

If someone phoned me at that time of the morning and told me to be outside in 30 mins my response may include the following [i]Get yourself to ****, I'll be outside in my own good time[/i] , probably why i don't work for Alan Sugar/have a million in the bank (seriously……………..if this your genuine overreaching monetery desire then you are a ****) nor why i work more than 18hrs a week.

Blondie needs to go - face like a smacked arse .

Brett has self-preservated well here

Janner for the chop this week I think if he ends up in the boardroom.

self-preservated

😆

I can't believe blondie escaped again .

Getting down to the nitty gritty now. Knives are out all over the place.

Just seen this thread. Can't believe I missed it before.

@cheezy me neither but she wasn't brought into the board room. Sam has been pretty hopeless all along though.

Blondie needs to go - face like a smacked arse .

Pretty much the same as Sam, not much good with the numbers and not over keen on getting stuck in and dirty.

I prefer her face to the american duck.

She has got to go , what a horrible horrible creature .

Which one?

Blondie - selina

How do these people really get so wound up over such contrived tasks.

It's a load of old rubbish.... But the acting in the boardroom is Oscar winning

At last .

She refused to go on the your Fired show on BBC2.

Can't say I am surprised as they would have crucified her

Its the interview round tonight , I predict plenty of squirming and tears .

24 Hours in A&E is on so The Apprentice has no chance. 😀

I frickin love the interview round 🙂

Baws, I couldn't remember who went out last week so googled it.
And inadvertently found out who goes tonight.

Jo for the win?

Daffy ducks sister for the win next week ?

LS is not going to put 250k into a local plumber when he's got the option gambling on a big return from a potentially worldwide dating app.

[i]he's got the option gambling on a big return from a potentially worldwide dating app. [/i]

He'll have to put a lot more than that in (or dilute his holding substantially) before he starts seeing a return - I think they'll struggle to get the platform written for that, let alone market it etc.