Talk to me about Toilet Seats

Mine’s on the way out. I dunno if I should go for a classic wood effect, plain white, plain white with a slat effect like one I have now (the paint is cracking and lifting) or a transparent perspex with spangly blue bits in it. My bathroom is small and not-very-good with an aqua blue-ish theme, if that helps. oh and I like shells.

i would go for a wooden one (kinder on your a&^e/not as cold to touch 😯

Blue one with **** bits in it?

ps you can get a warning/ban for swearing on here just now. Or at least I do.

d’ya reckon? doesn’t the grain absorb bumcheek sweat?

yeah baby.

help me stw you’re my only hope.

My bathroom is small and shit with an aqua blue-ish theme, if that helps.

Yes that helps enormously thanks. Since your bathroom is small and shit, I would go for a cheap crap toilet seat.

How does this 3 quid job from B&Q grab you ?

Plastic Toilet Seat White

but why can I not bling my toilet seat? every little helps?

Well if you want to go against the shit theme and instead go for something bling, then fair enough – your choice/your arse.

I’ve always thought barbed wire toilet seats look well classy. Or the ones with razor blades.

ohh yeah. that’s a beaut. blue pebbles. it’s not turqoiusy enough though. and the pebbles are too big and imposing. Ernie, do you think I’m completely without taste or something?

😯

I thought you could leave the seat down and try and match the pebbles? Some of them may prove a challenge…

Ernie, do you think I’m completely without taste or something?

I never said that.

Here’s something which will add a certain chic quality to your toilet seat, whilst also being extremely useful.

do they do ’em in aqua? I stated in my original post my blue-ish aqua theme. Red and green is far from blue. You have strayed far from my original point. I don’t think you’re taking my toilet seat problem seriously. I’m off to bed. g’night.

Soft close is the way to go whatever, not sure there’s a huge choice of patterns though.

You know the problem with this goddamn forum? People are obsessed with solving trivial crap, such as alcoholism, redundancy and murder, but the bigger problems such as toilet seat selection are regarded as ‘too big to deal with’…

C’mon people; help a brother out here. We can do this if we all pull together.

I’m with you Kevevs. Let’s find you a frickkin’ seat…

Go the whole hog nd fit a retro avacado suite 🙂

+1 for soft close – so much better except when you go to someones house who haven’t got one and you forget!

LEDS

Raised and padded

Furry

or glow in the dark

surely one of those fits the bill?

Whatever you get, make it heated:

DIY heated seat

Soft close, so that your five year old can play “can I have my wee before the Seat closes” with hilarious results five minutes before you need to leave for work on a morning.

This one’s going begging on a trail near Machynlleth. Happy to give you the GR, would match nicely with a ’70’s avacado suite 😀

It’ll make you go faster and more comfortably.

ernie_lynch – Member

I’ve always thought barbed wire toilet seats look well classy.

I always meant to buy one for a friend, who toilet seat was a tad worn (the hinges not the seat), but I never got round to it and he moved to another place…

anyway what ever you get, get a soft close version, daft option but worth it IMO.

Yep +1 for soft closing prevent accidentally waking up the house with dropped loo seat at 2:37am.

Couldn’t go back now, its revolutionised my shitting. A real “Game changer”!

😆 @ this thread. I personally would like a musical one …

Just kidding!

Lots here

http://www.heatandplumb.com/acatalog/Novelty_Toilet_Seats.html?ppp=all

Nope – needs to be heated AND musical. 🙂

Toilet humour is my kind of humour 😆

Is there a bog seat with toilet jokes written all over it? Saves having some books in there to keep you amused on the Thunderdrome….

I like the ones made of SPAM

We have a B&Q toilet suite and the seat kept coming loose (the hidden hinge clamp thingy was broken) so i went in there and asked for a spare one.. “sorry pal we only sell the whole seat assembly” ok so how much then (expecting £15.00 kind of answer) “£100.00” he says. I thought he was have a laugh!! then he shows me in the book.
Any way I popped back out to the van grabbed a screwdriver and shot back in there and promptly pinched a clamp thingy from their display suite. I would have just bought a new cheaper seat but these modern suites have bespoke seats that only really fit with the exact pan so it would have looked crap.

Make sure its ‘soft close’ 🙂 they are the way forward in bog seat technology.

I like the toilet seats which are made up of granite countertops. Since they are durable and classy one.

I like members that only register to spam the forum, they’re the best. Mind you, at least the resurrected thread is an amusing one…

Buy an American one.

The hinges on our cheapo B&Q number fell apart, so when considering a replacement I thought “Which nation puts the biggest load on its loo seats? Fat assed American that’s who!”.

Our new one has a soft close, they are the way forward in bog seat technology, and hinges like those on the front door at NORAD.