I am struggling to figure out how the Irish F-word can ever be used as a term of abuse.
:shrug: not my circus.
To my aspie mind, it baffles me that in isolation a jumble of letters can be offensive. Like the f-word spelt with a U in the middle is offensive, yet spelt with an E is fine. French Connection UK (with apologies to Eric Morecambe) have all the same letters although not necessarily in the same order on all their branding. Tabloid newspapers will print it in headline text an inch and a half high with two asterisks in the middle like no-one knows what it could possibly mean. THAT IS LITERALLY THE SAME WORD USING DIFFERENT SYMBOLS, it makes absolutely zero sense, none, nada. Am I allowed to swear in Spanish?
What does matter, and it’s unhooked from language, is intent. As Steve Hughes says in the video above (and ‘national treasure’ Stephen Fry is on record as saying something similar), “taking offence” is subjective. Where we differ in opinion here is, it is absolutely possible to cause offence, and moreover to do so intentionally.
We’ve seen this in the trans conversations, your friend Stephan tells you they now want to be addressed as Stephanie. They have no right to demand that you do anything, but you now have two options as to what you do with this information.
I could think you’re a great bloke and call you a bellend, it’s a standard greeting amongst my friends. Or I could think you’re an absolute bellend and call you a bellend. Same word, same letters, wildly differing contexts.