STW New Dad's

What nice things did you do for your better half on their return home with baby?

We have just had our first at the weekend and although both baby and mummy are doing fine now it has not been the most strait forward of births. I would really like to do something special to welcome them both home later in the week when they are allowed out of hospital but am in need of some inspiration.

Cheers Rusty.

I’ve cleaned the house! I’m not sure what to do either as my little one is in intensive care at the moment and I’m not sure when they are coming home.

fill the freezer with meals for the next couple of weeks.

Tidy up, remove the bikes/engines/whatever you’ve been rebuilding from the kitchen. Basically not looking like you’ve been living there on your own for a week 😀

Seriously get a much stuff sorted now so you can spend some quality family time and pamper her as much as poss.

Clean, cook and clean then cook then wash …

Both our were mildly challenging births. The best thing you can do is have the house tidy, clean, all the laundry done, meals cooked and in the freezer for the next few weeks.

Get the coming home outfit ready for the little one.

And if the birth has been traumatic, be ready with cups of tea to talk through it. My missus is a pretty balanced character at the worst of times but she absolutely went to shit after my son was born because the birth plan went badly awry (emergency C-section after 72 hours labour) and she couldn’t remember a damn thing. Spent a lot of time talking through what happened when.

Hope everything goes well & I wish all the new Dads well!

boxxer7 very best of luck with yours. Intensive care has not been required for ours so i can’t imagine what you have been through.

She did come a little early so i have had a couple of mates round to help get all the stuff we got down from the loft and build the cot. I spent most of today rushing around getting a lot of stuff done that we had organised prior to the birth (plumber, car service etc). Flat looks like a Chinese laundry with baby’s and mummy’s clothes. Tomorrow will be hoovering and tidying and organsing when i am not up at the hospital with them.

I am a selfish git and didn’t really do anything (firstborn now three months). Mrs Removed, being Mrs Removed had already cleaned the house from top to bottom (well, she helped me to do it by lying on the sofa, unable to move, but well capable of giving direction), cooked several years worth of vile veggie food and frozen it, and liased with relatives to control numbers.

I didn’t even buy a card 😳 But I did buy her the biggest bunch of flowers either of us have ever seen 😀

Flat looks like a Chinese laundry

Racist 😕

😉

Enjoy the first few weeks – pure magic, and it just keeps happening.

Many congratulations to both you and the good lady. There are quite a few new dads on here so I’m sure we could start a dadsnet equivalent! Anyway, just make sure you have no plans for the next fortnight and just cook, clean, wash and run whatever errands are required. One other thing is make sure you act as a buffer between your new family and any friends or family wanting to call in. With the best of intentions unexpected visitors can put pressure on you as you both try to fathom what to do! Enjoy, tis awesome.

nicest thing aside from bringing baby home to a clean house, and maintaining a clean house…

take it onboard to give mummy as much time to recover as possible.

Step up and do all the diapers and ‘menial baby tasks’ you can…day and night. let her concentrate on the feeding aspect as its not always that straightforwards.

Get as much skin time as you can too.. no.. not with the Mrs.. with baby!

Congrats

Great advice there – I am a 3 1/2 week in new dad.

Clean the house, get some food in, get organised, do the washing, do nappies, do washing, make cups of tea and do a bit of baking, buffer visitors and don’t be afraid to say no when people want to come round at all hours to poke the baby awake, be very very nice to your other half – they focus on the baby – your job for 6months is to focus on making her feel loved. You might feel a bit left out but it is only temporary. Make sure you get some time for yourself as well.

To be fair we have had a very easy run with a well feeding, happy and sleeping baby (10hr stretch last night – wtf !). Mum is rested and relaxed and was completely mobile 2 weeks after a c-section – driving etc no issues. Expect periodic meltdowns of tears and be sympathetic – even if it is you !

And congratulations, great feeling.

[watches closely]

We have our 2nd scan for twins tomorrow. Slightly trepidacious.

Mrs Removed had a C-Section too, but not an emergency one (just). I felt for her as she had planned the birth to the nth degree. I’d learnt all the hypnosis stuff and self consciousness went out of the window – things got very hairy as the baby turned back to back. This after three days in and out of hospital.

The whole thing still feels really unreal. No painkillers; OK, give me painkillers. Definitely no epidural; OK, I understand I need an epidural. Clips on the baby’s head because the heart rate was ‘abnormal’. “DON’T PUSH!” She couldn’t help pushing. Animal noises. Stainless steel instruments. Right – C-Section. Bits of flesh behind the blanket, slopping on the floor, wife strangely calm. Blood everywhere, panicky nurses. Baby!

Please excuse the stream of consciousness and slight hijack – haven’t quite got round to clearing my mind yet.

Just be there I suppose, and get your stiff upper lip on.

Just be there I suppose, and get your stiff upper lip on.

I reassure myself daily that everyone I ever met has a parent who went through the unknowing and eventual trauma, to whatever degree. It is well survivable.

Cant wait TBH. 😆

user_removed has it. We were induced and mrs nzcol was aiming for no pain relief, baby was in optimal position etc Induction started OK but then stalled and then major issues with distressed baby. In amongst that we started on Syntosin and decided on an epidural. It wasn’t going anywhere so out the sunroof before things got dangerous. Best decision and why i paid for a midwife and an obstetrician !
Never in my life have i been sh1tting bricks like it. Nothing can prepare a man for total loss of control. Don’t worry about it – all you can do is make decisions, keep your other half under control and don’t panic. Working on base principles – if sh1t is going to happen the best place for it is in a hospital, not at home with candles in a homemade spa bath. My opinion.
Enjoy it, keep yourself well fed. I might have slightly mebbes felt a bit squiffy in the operating theatre and possibly had a brief lie down to compose myself…. 😳

New dad here too – day 8 today. All your stories sound familiar, wife planned all natural birth, ended up being a pitocin-epidural-mammoth labour-baby stuck-emergency c-sec type deal. All well in the end though, wife’s still trying to get over it, on top of having a newborn around.

Good luck to all, as i sit here burping the little one, something tells me we’ll need it!

Be aware that the strong confident woman you love may be nothing of the sort for a good few weeks. Rest assured, she will be back. And forget about all that crap about routine for a while too. Babies eat when they are hungry and sleep when they are tired. Routine and patterns will emerge eventually 🙂

Went to the pub 🙂

For the wife… i just let her go to bed and sleep really.

Congratulations russ

Glad to hear both are ok.

Remind her of your conjucal rights.

Well I’m now 3 months in to new dad land!! Those first few weeks are/were amazing although very surreal! Just be there for her all the time, take the time to try and relax when u can together if poss, oh and lock the bike away, you won’t be using it for a while! Many congratulations, it’s an amazing and emotional time ime. Not sure I ever realised quite how life would change before the birth, in fact 3 months on, I’m still trying to get used to certain things, (not that I’d change it for the world)!

Mostly, just enjoy the next fortnight with the mrs it goes to fast

I rode my bike on the day of the birth. Ride when you want. It provides stress release.

Congratulations Rusty Mac!! Brilliant news for you and Mrs Rusty Mac. Hope she feels better soon. 😀

As others have said, just keep the house clean. Learn the cycle for the baby-clothes washing on the machine. If she’s trying to breast-feed, just let her get on with it…don’t sit there wondering at the beauty of it all – she might feel a bit self-conscious while she’s getting used to it. Go away and fold stuff. There’s always something to fold. When she’s established and it’s happening easily enough, you can have a cuddle then. I think the last thing a new mum needs is a bloke saying “Aren’t you supposed to hold him differently?”

Someone mentioned routine – and he was right – forget it for the first few months – the baby will find it’s routine eventually but for now, it’ll sleep, eat, poo and wee when it needs to.

Enjoy it, these are the most amazing few weeks!!

Made sure my bike was clean and bled brakes.. after all that hard work it was a relief to get Mrs cloudnine home from the hospital and put my feet up. My hands were really aching from all the squeezing and back rubbing. This was our third and were lucky enough to be in and out in 6hrs. Just basically wait on your OH hand and foot and don’t forget her calorie requirements will double if she is now a mobile milk bar so plan some decent grub and keep her well hydrated. Oh and make sure you get some sleep .. as sleep debt and depravation is really unpleasant. Most of all spend as much time with your family as they change so much within such a short space of time

Cheers for the advice and kind words guys, looks like I am doing the right stuff. Going to get to the shops today and get some flowers for the house. If I get a chance I’m going to try and get to the polish shop and get her some of her favourite sweets and biscuits.

It is funny how you mention marshalling friends and family, we were just chatting last night that in a way we have been quite lucky that our families can’t just doorstep us unexpectedly.

I’m off for a while need to do another load of washing and Hoover before I go up and visit for 9am.

I’m 11 days in and it’s brilliant. My general job is food, washing and cleaning, then giving her company when feeding. I’m also chief bum wiper and nappy changer.

For her return home there was a cheeseboard full of blue cheeses, a bottle of veuve clicquot and tickets to see nick cave in October – that went down well.

Oh, I’ve been out on the bike too. And I’m going out tonight – just don’t take the piss!

One thing we were never warned about though – growth spurts……

No too many guests unless she is fully rested, this nearly sent my lady over the edge.

Clean, Tidy, Wash, Clean, Wipe, Wash, Cook, Sleep when you can… I still skate twice a week, and ride my bike twice a week in summer and never had a problem.

Well done POOK! Nick cave tickets how great are you!

Good luck with everything OP 🙂

Oh I have a little bottle of Moët in the fridge but we won’t be able to enjoy that until mummy has finished with her pain meds 😥

Welcome to the best bit of being alive – kids are just brilliant!
All good suggestions above.
Mrs Cat really appreciated me taking our our for an hour’s walk so she could either rest or have a shower in peace, was even more important when No2 arrived 19 months later – set the scene for 15 years of lads and Dad time, still doing it.
Pook is spot on – they grow at a hell of a pace so if anyone offers to buy clothes ask them to buy sizes for older babies, they’ll be in them before you can blink.
Good luck and enjoy every second of it.

edit – weird delayed double post

We’re 13 weeks in now, and I’d echo the above but with one addition – get a tumble dryer! Could not believe how many clothes/muslin squares the little man gets through.

My youngest Daugther (who is 2 1/2 now) came along a month early (seriously traumatic birth – crash C-section due to ruptured Uterus during delivery – baby fell out of uterus inside wife, heart stopped, had to be resuscitated, stomach pumped 14 times as full of maternal blood – both ended up in separate ICU’s – wife had over 200 stitches to put her back together)
at the time we were desparately trying to get the house finished – the day my wife went into labour our boiler was on the lounge floor and we had no running water… you’ll be fine – just keep the place tidy, and show mother and baby how much you love them.

We have our 2nd scan for twins tomorrow. Slightly trepidacious.

First couple of months with our twins felt like being in some kind of alternative dream-like state*. Brace yourself…

The upside is that you’ll be able to sniff derisively at all the people going on about how hard it is with just one nipper.

*nightmarish states also available. One of my lasting memories is lying on the floor with a fever and stomach bug at 1am, trying to bottle feed a month-old baby with a fever and stomach bug. His mum was in hospital with the other one who had an even nastier fever and stomach bug. Happy days.

In terms of treats all the food banned during pregnancy, soft cheese prawns , and for crankygirl soft boiled eggs Benedict with smoked salmon. But a clean tidy house with all the baby prep done is probably more appreciated. Also remember that sitting holding a baby can be mindnumbinly tedious. A kindle and a constant supply of tea and company will help.

Congratulations. It was also a comfort to know others had interesting deliverys . Crankboy had me convinced of the worst when he lost his heartbeat on his much delayed and medicated entry in to the world.

Be prepared for the massive sence of unreality when you first get the baby home and there is just the three of you .

Oh yes just remembered go and buy some more baby grows , you don’t have enough.

all good advice above. Also tell her often that she is doing a good job. And remember, Sunday is Mothers Day!!!

fill the freezer with meals for the next couple of weeks.

+1.

Of all the things people did for us when Ransos jnr arrived, we most appreciated having some nice homemade meals we could lift out the freezer – you don’t want to think about cooking or food shopping when you’ve been up all night. I also second the suggestion about rationing visits – you need some time on your own as a new family.

Congratulations.
7.5 months in here.
I did the clean&tidy house & flowers thing.
Did/still do ,all the housework/washing!(for bike credits :wink:)
My biking has been curtailed ,to mostly commuting & local spins , ‘coz i want to spend as much time with L’il J. 😀