Strangest thing you have seen on an early morning ride?

When I go on an early road ride the next town along is usually still busy with people drinking and staggering around. Had a few friendly exchanges with them over the years.

Caught someone trying to break into a barn, he scarpered…. then two weeks later the same bloke appeared again, pre 6am at another location…. he was on his toes again. very odd!

African religious types

I love meeting/bumping into them. So happy regardless of the weather- polite and obviously really into their worship/what they are doing up there.

A friend was out on a road ride many years back and came across a charred body by the side of the road.

It was a girl from my old school who’d be killed by her ex-boyfriend and the girl he was seeing.

Friend was second on the scene by a few seconds IIRC – he was more than a little cut up.

Edit: Can’t remember if friend was “man that spotted flames” as I thought he arrived very shortly after a woman. He may have arrived shortly before… http://www.suffolkfreepress.co.uk/news/latest-news/murdered-girl-s-body-set-alight-1-560897

Not an early ride but a night ride had five armed bushes stand up in front of me on a trail turned out to be members of the para’s on an exercise had a VERY surreal conversation about bikes with them then went back the other way as they told me they were laying an ambush and “it might get a bit loud round here soon”

P.s ride in an army training ground in case you hadn’t guessed

I nearly rode into a tank on Salisbury Plain.

It was reasonably well hidden, but I started wearing my glasses when riding that way after that. They did offer me a brew which was handy, no cafes for miles round there.

Will quite often hear ‘mate, don’t ride over me f****** legs’ from what appears to be a bush in a ditch up there.

This morning I saw a lot of joggers wearing less than they have for several months. Some of them were attractive. Some of them were female.

A friend of mine found a roadie collapsed at the side of the road at Easter. Poor chap didn’t make it to hospital in time. Not seen an update in the local news for a week or so, so must been natural causes. 4 years older than me.

African religious types
I love meeting/bumping into them. So happy regardless of the weather- polite and obviously really into their worship/what they are doing up there.

They didn’t have a pot on the boil, licking their lips in anticipation of a Hora Breakfast.?

This was yesterday morning. A chap on a quad bike taking 18 hunting dogs for a run.

mid afternoon, pushing up a track which is lined in hedges for most of the way near Bakewell. Every 20m or so was a page or two ripped out from a really bad pr0n mag. At the top of the track was a lot of tall grass and a 3ft pile of used knickers, bras and stockings. It reminded me of Hansel and Gretel…

P0rn shoot

Welsh Singing Choir at top of a mist shrouded hill, voices literally comign out of the clouds

Dens of Sexual perverts

Large pile of box fresh 1980’s ‘jazz’ mags

man carrying a rolled up carpet and a spade through the woods

Dogger spotting is standard entertainment.

At the top of the track was a lot of tall grass and a 3ft pile of used knickers, bras and stockings.

Just reminded me – I found a stash of underwear catalogue pages and a pile of ladies’ underwear in a disused military fortification while route-finding in Croatia. My guess it was a local kid’s w**k-den.

No idea where the underwear came from, but I’d hazard a guess there’s a few empty spots on washing lines in the local village.

They didn’t have a pot on the boil, licking their lips in anticipation of a Hora Breakfast.?

No they met someone with the kindest eyes and a smile from ear to ear.

No they met someone with the kindest eyes and a smile from ear to ear.

Was this the doped-up virgin they were sacrificing?

This reminds me of the I-Spy books that were all the rage when I was a lad.

I can tick off: mucky book photoshoot, blow-job in progress, illegal rave, filming(Dr.Who) and medieval roleplaying ****.

Can you beat this, though? In a clearing in woods north of Cardiff I see two women enraptured by the crazy-eyed topless man in a kilt who is serending them with a version of ‘Do ya think I’m sexy” on the bagpipes.

Can you beat this, though? In a clearing in woods north of Cardiff I see two women enraptured by the crazy-eyed topless man in a kilt who is serending them with a version of ‘Do ya think I’m sexy” on the bagpipes.

😆

I bow down to your awesomeness.

In a clearing in woods north of Cardiff

Where?

Daffy: One girl weeing on another in the Nidd Gorge. The one who was doing the weeing branded me a pervert as I rode past. Words completely failed me, so no witty retort.

Perhaps those people were caught short?…

This morning, on 3 separate occasions, 3 attractive young ladies out on their early morning run, running towards me, smiling.

Historically, attractive young ladies usually do their best to move away from me, rather than towards me . 😉

The oddest thing I ever see is a guy that takes his dogs for a walk on his bike. They drag him down the road at a fair old speed. I’ve never, ever seen anyone “at it”, or doing owt weird. Maybe I need to start riding elsewhere! 🙂

I used to ride to work in the Surrey Hills, so I’d often see dead deer, foxes, badgers and rabbits. But the weirdest thing was a Vauxhall Astra. On it’s roof.

That’s not weird, seen loads of cars on the trails up in the Valleys. Joyriders like to see how far they can get up trails.

To be fair though Molgrips, the Valleys are a bit “different” to the Surrey Hills.

And most other places too.

A dead body……..

Well he was there again yesterday….but this time joined by his wife! Guess a bit of naturist early morning gardening must be the routine on a sunny Sunday morning!

One girl weeing on another in the Nidd Gorge.

Is that some kind of specialist slang?