Some people are so xxxxxxx ungrateful…2nd hand bike content

He respects her enough to spend a significant amount of time and money on building her a bike (and to be fair, a pretty bloody good one), from which he’d have earned nothing. Seems like a pretty good friend, despite a few flippant comments on an anonymous forum.
Worn out bike? please.

Instead of being all hurt that she didn’t like your worn-out bike that she didn’t ask you to build, how about you just say to her “Yep. I thought I was doing you a favour, but I ended up building something you didn’t want. Sorry about that.”

But she knew what frame he was getting her, and therefore was assuming to get a second hand bike. What second hand bikes are not part worn.

On the other hand, I think the OP should sell the bike (you will get more then what you paid) and just politely decline any other future requests from help from her when her piece of shit falls to pieces around glentress.

You made some big compromises

If supplying an Xt/SLX drivetrain with around 500 miles of riding on it, plus 2 perfectly functioning tyres,brand new brakes, new cables, a frame with a freshly tuned rear shock and new bearings (not by me I may add) and wheels that are as good as new is a ‘big’ compromise for 400 quid, then remind me never to sell you a bike on the clasifieds. Simple fact is you haven’t seen the bike so are in zero position to make such a statement.

So you think that offering your opinion of her breasts on an internet forum should be taken as a compliment?

Or bragging about the opportunities you’ve had to shag her?

Given a number of posters suggested I only did it so I could ‘shag’ her, I felt my comment was reasonably justifiable (albeit flippantly put), if you took it as me ‘bragging’ then I suggest you dont know me very well.

Given as wrecker says its an anonymous forum that a; she’ll never read, b: the comments were meant as flippant humour and c: I know the girl fairly well and what she would and wouldn’t be offended by, I’m fairly comfortable shes not going to be terribly offended by those 2 comments.

Instead of being all hurt that she didn’t like your worn-out bike that she didn’t ask you to build

Perhaps read the thread. she did ask me to built it. She also saw a pic of the bike new from a link, so she knew what the frame, forks and wheels would be. And as Bigjim on here who sold me the Frame, forks and wheels will testify, they’re in pretty good nick

tpbiker, walk away!

There’s no winning an argument with the stw fishwives, it’s like wrestling with a pig.

I know the girl fairly well and what she would and wouldn’t be offended by

I always find it amazing how, in real life, people aren’t offended by stuff like they are on here.

He respects her enough to spend a significant amount of time and money on building her a bike

Yes – I get that. But it wasn’t the bike she wanted. He made her a promise to build her a full-suss bike for £400, but in order to do it he had use some ropey parts. And he blames her for not liking it (“ungrateful” etc) I’m sure he entered into this with the best of intentions, but he made a mistake. He should reflect on this, rather than moaning on here.

a few flippant comments

Ah – the sexist’s defence no.3.

See also “God – it was only a joke love. Lighten up.”, “Take it as a compliment” and “well, boys will be boys”.

She may take the bike, she may not. In order to avert conflict, she may apologise to him for not being eternally grateful. But whatever happens, she’ll regret ever having got involved with him. He could prevent her from feeling like this by admitting his mistake and removing the sense of obligation. As it stands right now, his entrenched position isn’t helping.

Thanks for proving my last point.

This happens wherever hobby geeks and mainstream consumer culture collide. Women must get sick of it

“IPod you say, dear? Tsk. What you need is a Thorens turntable and custom tone arm, connected to this amp I’ll make for you using these old valves I’ve sourced from old Soviet military radios. What’s that? You can’t listen to it on the bus? Well screw you then, ungrateful, know-nothing little minx.”

“Camera you say, dear? Nikon Coolpix? Ha. You need this Leica M5 and an assortment of Zeiss lenses, each worth more than a family hatchback. What do you mean you don’t understand about f-stops and white balance and just want to take some snaps of the kids? Pah. I give up.”

Etc

Not even remotely like what the OP has described

Then, when she is disappointed with the result, I’ll start a ranty, foul-mouthed thread on Singletrack World about it, wherein I’ll make several sexist and disrespectful comments about her.

Another exaggerated little snippet, well done.

Chalk it up to experience OP, you did something that you thought was right and a fair bit more than was expected to begin with and it hasn’t worked out, of course you should know you can’t start a thread like this without some sensationalist exaggeration from within the masses.

Good job on the build for that cash

<hope this helps>

OP – I’ve had similar issues making bikes for friends – you have my sympathies – but I’m keeping my bar tassels 🙂

Yes – I get that. But it wasn’t the bike she wanted. He made her a promise to build her a full-suss bike for £400, but in order to do it he had use some ropey parts. And he blames her for not liking it (“ungrateful” etc) I’m sure he entered into this with the best of intentions, but he made a mistake. He should reflect on this, rather than moaning on here.

poor communication works both ways, though – maybe she didn’t articulate what she wanted, and then maybe he didn’t explain what it was going to be like – who’s to know ?

OP, obviously I don’t care what you choose to do but, honestly, I think the worst outcome here would be to sell her the bike. Flog it, put the episode behind you (both – hopefully on good terms) and move on. It’s not worth falling out over but you might use it to change your perspective on this friendship

You made some big compromises
If supplying an Xt/SLX drivetrain with around 500 miles of riding on it, plus 2 perfectly functioning tyres,brand new brakes, new cables, a frame with a freshly tuned rear shock and new bearings (not by me I may add) and wheels that are as good as new is a ‘big’ compromise for 400 quid, then remind me never to sell you a bike on the clasifieds. Simple fact is you haven’t seen the bike so are in zero position to make such a statement.

So you think that offering your opinion of her breasts on an internet forum should be taken as a compliment?
Or bragging about the opportunities you’ve had to shag her?

Given a number of posters suggested I only did it so I could ‘shag’ her, I felt my comment was reasonably justifiable (albeit flippantly put), if you took it as me ‘bragging’ then I suggest you dont know me very well.

Given as wrecker says its an anonymous forum that a; she’ll never read, b: the comments were meant as flippant humour and c: I know the girl fairly well and what she would and wouldn’t be offended by, I’m fairly comfortable shes not going to be terribly offended by those 2 comments.

There’s no point in saying “you don’t know me”. This is an internet forum. None of us know each other. We can only go on what we read. As for being goaded into the sexist comments by others, yes, you were, but try and be the bigger man, especially when a friend’s involved.

As for your parts list, yes, I get it, but that doesn’t matter. The point is that SHE doesn’t care about the parts list. When she saw the bike, her attention went straight to the mismatched and worn-out parts.

Anyway, she may come round and decide she likes it after all. But I don’t think that listing the parts is going to convince her. If it was me, I’d be saying “I wanted to help you and I did my best with the budget I had. Yes, I had to use a few ropey parts. Sorry it’s not what you wanted. What do you want to do?” I don’t think that guilt-tripping her is going achieve a satisfactory outcome for either of you.

Sounds like she has some trust issues. I assume you pointed out you’d paid £300 for the frame and wheels. You could point out a similar spec new bike to show her the value she’s getting. Finally, perhaps she’s mad as she really wants a personal servicing and not a mountain bike. IGMC

Jeez!This place sometimes.

reminds me of a conversation a year or so ago

me: look at my shiny new titanium bike which cost [insert random number that was quite a lot less than i actually paid for it]

the wife: but it isn’t even painted

. He could prevent her from feeling like this by admitting his mistake and removing the sense of obligation. As it stands right now, his entrenched position isn’t helping.

I’ve told her there is no sense of obligation already. Taking advise on here I’ve said if she wants to get it valued then bash on, but also said as I’ve clearly not managed her expectations well feel free to hand it back over the weekend and I’ll sell it on

As some kind of indication of what I’m up against…she told me the wheels don’t turn when you wheel the bike backwards and as such what else is wrong with the bike.

I asked her if the bike was in gear and chain was on….

at least thats one problem solved.

Appreciate that she may not of know that, but it kind of pisses me off that she clearly doesn’t trust me to not hand her a piece of crap, which is a far bigger issue to me than the cash itself.

Heh. She doesn’t want it, does she?

Good luck for the best outcome.

her attention went straight to the mismatched and worn-out parts

If you call 2 different tyres front and back (and the same combo as I rode on my enduro up until very recently) as mismatched then fair enough but thats a bit like complaining that a bike only has 10 gears rather than 33…

As for worn out parts, she didn’t even notice them. She commented on the scuffed paintwork on the frame and scuffed seatpost. Ie purely cosmetic…she never even sat on the thing!

Good luck for the best outcome

thanks…will update next week 🙂

it kind of pisses me off that she clearly doesn’t trust me to not hand her a piece of crap, which is a far bigger issue to me than the cash itself.

Quite right, that’s the core of it. You might need to have A Conversation. Talk about all this expectation mismatch stuff. Take some blame for your part. Do all the “when you say x it makes me feel y”.

women and expectations 👿

If she ums and errs about it again, tell her to bog off. As for some of the twunts on here 🙄

Edric64 YHM and Hebdencyclist my email is in profile if you’re interested in that frame.
535mm ST and 125 rear spacing.

her attention went straight to the mismatched and worn-out parts
If you call 2 different tyres front and back (and the same combo as I rode on my enduro up until very recently) as mismatched then fair enough but thats a bit like complaining that a bike only has 10 gears rather than 33…

As for worn out parts, she didn’t even notice them. She commented on the scuffed paintwork on the frame and scuffed seatpost. Ie purely cosmetic…she never even sat on the thing!
“they were good enough for that enduro I rode recently”
*sigh* She doesn’t care that they were good enough for you in that enduro you did, they don’t match, they look a bit scruffy, they look second hand.

“As for worn out parts, she didn’t even notice them. She commented on the scuffed paintwork on the frame and scuffed seatpost.”
That’s worn parts then, isn’t it? You can bet she noticed the grips, pedals, tyres and all the other obvious cosmetic worn/scruffy/mismatching parts, the bits not important to you, but very important to her.
As has already been said, the route of the issue is mostly down to the average punter not appreciating the price of decent lighter weight kit in mtb. I hope she comes round to your thinking, but she wants a new or newer looking bike that’s more aesthetically pleasing to her.

It could simply just be the colour of the frame just doesn’t do it for her, that’s swayed my interests a few times!.

I’m waiting* for a new user to appear, and start a thread “A friend built a bike for me but I don’t like it. What should I do?”

*praying for it, actually

This is the most elaborate stealth classified ad we’ve had in a while…

I’ll give you £300 for it. (I won’t really)

My suggestion would be to get rid of the canyon, then offer to do what I did for a female friend and my girlfriend…..search for a complete bike which is as good as new at a great price then point it out to her. Let her agree she likes it, and let her pay for it. £450 for a £850 boardman and £270 for a £550 Specialized both in as-new condition are my wins , and something similar may just put you back in the good books.

A hint, get her to pick up the new-bike she has in mind and she’ll appreciate how light your suggestions are in comparison. Weight means effort, which even a newbie will realise doesn’t equate to fun when you have to pedal the thing up a hill. 😉

Take the bike back, whether it’s what she wants or not is irrelevant….the ‘taking it for a valuation’ thing is a really crappy thing to do and implies she doesn’t trust you and thinks you’d rip her off….nice, she isn’t your friend.

Sell it to someone else who will appreciate it, have very little to do with her going forward from this….the valuation thing seems to be getting skimmed over by some on here but it’s the most insulting part for me.

If a mate built me something for an agreed price I’d know I’m not being fleeced because it’s a friend and friendship means we respect and trust each other….she neither respects or trusts you, at least she has revealed her true colours over this episode….steer well clear in future.

hebdencyclist – Member

This is an internet forum. None of us know each other. We can only go on what we read.

and on that basis, in your case i’m going with “riesigercockwomble”, which is a German compound adjective that translates to “giant cock womble”.

bedmaker ,I have mailed you

I spoke to her and her concern is it will break when shes on a ride and wont be able to fix it as its old. Fair enough, although just as likely to happen to a cheap new bike.

As a peace offering I’ve offered her an afternoons worth of bike fixing lessons…ie how to repair a puncture 🙂

I kind of want her to take its as its a great wee bike and I know shell enjoy it so much more than a cheaper bike, but not going to fall out with her if not. Can sell on I’m sure.

Thanks for all the comments folks 🙂

Let down, was hoping for a more explosive finale to 6 pages of argumentative horsecockery.

To think I mildly stuck up for you.

So she’s decided to keep it now a bike shop’s told her it’s worth about £750?

All’s well that ends well I suppose.

fear not lads…no decision made yet!!!

Stay tuned…

Why not suggest the pair of you go for a ride together, her on the bike you’ve built, you on the shiny new bike you’ve bought from the proceeds made from scamming poor defenceless ladies into buying tat from your shed.

Then suggest she go to a shop and take a £400 new bike out on a test ride and she can then compare the 2. That way she might see past the cosmetic issues of the second hand bike and appreciate what you’ve done for her.

Never expect gratitude, ever – that way you won’t be disappointed – but especially never expect gratitude for things that weren’t asked for. You said you ‘persuaded’, her reaction says it was nearer to ‘brow-beaten’. In fact, it does sound like classic mansplaining.

Having said that, you are absolutely right that this would be the best bike she could get for an introduction to mountain-biking. Doesn’t matter. If a mate came to you asking for advice on a cheap car for a 5 minute commute, and you suggested that a bike would be cheaper and would leave them fitter, healthier, happier, less-stressed and richer I’d warrant they wouldn’t be grateful for that advice, either.

What you did was noble and really nice, and it was pretty crappy taking the bike in for an independent valuation, but you were clearly not solving the problem *she* had. Keep the bike, help her spend her £400 on the best bike *she* wants. Sell yours for a profit, feel free to trek her what the profit is.

I can’t arsed reading everything that everyone has written but for me the big issue isn’t whether she likes the colour or other such aesthetic guff, or that it’s built from use parts, it’s that she’s had the cheek to want it valuing. WTF? That’s question your honesty, integrity and seems to challenge the whole notion of friendship. I’d tell her to go **** herself.

She’s not likely to get a honest answer from a bike shop either: let’s face it, they want to sell her something themselves, so why would they? Ok, they might grudgingly admit the parts were worth more when new, but then drop in negative comments about buying 2nd hand (certain death and fire balls will no doubt feature).

Dont sell the bike to her. If something does go wrong………..

Just tell her that you can see from her response that it isnt what she wants and just say that you have someone else who wants it (even if there isnt), sell the bike to someone else, and move on.

Youll not win this one.