So my boy's started spitting :/

At people.

He’s 5.

First incident was yesterday at football. He was d1cking around and not listening. Another kid punched him in the belly (I wasn’t there, grandparents were) so he spat in the kids face. Apparently kids Dad was quite angry.

Just picked him up from school and was told that he wouldn’t take his hoody off and wear the school hat (no hat no play in Australia) so he spat at the teacher.

Obviously this is a “phase” but a pretty horrible one. I assume it’s something he’s picked up from another kid and rightly so, he’s in the sh1t tonight.

Anyone else gone through this? I’m very annoyed with him. Especially after we had a big talk after yesterday’s incident.

Talking worked well then?
Clip his ear and if that fails slap his arse. Hide the hoody and stop him playing until he apologises.

Mine did it for a couple of days – a reception craze apparently.
No screen time for a week sorted that & I told him that if anyone spat at me in the street I would get very, very cross,Dr David Banner cross.
Re – the hoodie , has he called you “dog” yet?
🙂

An ex’s 6 year old boy (Aussie as it happens…) spat at me once – just once 😀

Instant reaction of smacking him round the head and getting a bit shouty ensured he wasn’t going to spit (at an adult) ever again.

mattsccm – Member
Talking worked well then?
Clip his ear and if that fails slap his arse. Hide the hoody and stop him playing until he apologises.

Not sure hitting him is the answer, and I’m sure your comment was tonguey-cheeky though.

No pudding?

Rob Hilton – Member
An ex’s 6 year old boy (Aussie as it happens…) spat at me once – just once

Instant reaction of smacking him round the head and getting a bit shouty ensured he wasn’t going to spit (at an adult) ever again.

I’m sure it would work, I just couldn’t. He does not respond to shouty in any way. If anything if riles him up more and he shouts back. I once had an hour of him screaming LET ME OUT after I put him in time out. All I wanted was an apology and he wouldn’t budge! Stubborn mo-fo.

Spit hood?

^ like

First incident was yesterday at football.

Enough said!

Dunno about the spitting but I’d cut the hood off the hoody and see a frilly girls one on it.

Violence is a great way to bring up kids.

Based on your considerable experience Al?

Hack up a huge wodge of phlegm and spit it in his face, see how he likes them onions

Spit back at them, a real throat oyster right in the face.

I’m sure it would work, I just couldn’t. He does not respond to shouty in any way. If anything if riles him up more and he shouts back. I once had an hour of him screaming LET ME OUT after I put him in time out. All I wanted was an apology and he wouldn’t budge! Stubborn mo-fo.

Have there been other indicators in Junior’s life that he can be extraordinarily defiant, or unresponsive to discipline? Or is it just in the wake of this particular phase?

Serious, if impertinent, question.

There you go, we must be right.

First incident was yesterday at football.

Enough said!

FFS.

It’s an abhorrent habit – particularly when aimed at someone, but it’s not a ‘football’ thing.

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/tennis-spitting-images-are-not-a-pretty-sight-1423404.html

https://www.google.co.uk/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=rugby+spitting

https://www.google.co.uk/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=running+spitting

To the OP. It’s a phase and it will pass. But it seems to me like you have a strong-willed son, and after this one then there’ll be another challenge so you do need a response. While a decent slap ‘never did me any harm’ then persist with the more rational techniques – but what about flipping it and rewarding not spitting instead of punishing spitting. Get to the end of the week with no more spitting and this is the result. Get to end of next week and this, etc.

Meh.. I’d hoped this thread was gonna contain sick bars fam

Strong willed, yes most def.

No other incidents really. He’s just had summer hols so back to school, new class, teacher and most of his buddies are in a different class. He’s a bright button and his friend’s aren’t so (from what I’ve seen – some of them can barely speak a sentence). He’s…. vocal. The kid that always answers the questions in class, the one you can hear shouting “you do this, I’m the leader, follow me” etc etc

Just a phase, pushing boundaries and testing people I guess.

I once had an hour of him screaming LET ME OUT after I put him in time out.

What is time out? And did you give in after that hour?

I’m not entirely sure that spitting at people is…

Just a phase, pushing boundaries and testing people I guess.

MarkBrewer – Member
I once had an hour of him screaming LET ME OUT after I put him in time out.
What is time out? And did you give in after that hour?

What is “time out”? Do you have kids? Time out, naughty step, stand in the corner. Still there?

I didn’t give up after an hour, no. He did. I was curious as to just how long he’d keep going. I was in the room every 5 mins giving him an opportunity to apologise. “You can come out if you tell me what you did and why you’re sorry”. Took an hour but we got there.

throat oyster

That’ll work. Spit in his chips to make doubly sure.

I was in the room every 5 mins giving him an opportunity to apologise the attention he craved.

❓

Coyote – Member
I’m not entirely sure that spitting at people is…

Just a phase, pushing boundaries and testing people I guess.

I never said spitting was. What I meant, before you’re cutting and bodging, was that as a five year old, it’s HE’S just going through a phase etc. I’m not suggesting that this will be a life long “thing”. Imagine going to a job interview….Or meeting people off forums. “Hi, I’m Coyote” *hchchc puuhh!”

And no, he’s not seen or heard of Bob Carolgees

Cougar – Moderator
I was in the room every 5 mins giving him an opportunity to apologise the attention he craved.

Nice one Cougar. If I’d have said I totally ignored his cries and screams for an hour, you’d have done me on that no doubt?

I never said spitting was. What I meant, before you’re cutting and bodging, was that as a five year old, it’s HE’S just going through a phase etc.

This ^

Same as biting, hitting, tantrums. A five year old can’t understand why spitting is more abhorrent to us than most other forms of misbehaviour, it’s just another means of pushing the acceptable limits and seeing what happens. The spitting will pass – the boundary pushing will just move on to another one.

I’m the current owner of a near teenage daughter – 10 days to go – and the boundaries are now all about make up, phones at school, what age category films are allowed, why certain clothes are not acceptable, and so on. But they’re still being pushed, every bloody day.

@couger – I don’t think you are a parent, correct? But the OP is dead right; time out for a suitable period at a time, then give a chance to apologise and accept. Nothing more, that’s not ‘giving the attention they crave’ it’s offering a get out. Don’t want to take it – fine, take another 5 minutes without attention. They get the point in the end, and then can have attention when they deserve it.

smacked legs worked for both my kids when young.

Nice one Cougar. If I’d have said I totally ignored his cries and screams for an hour, you’d have done me on that no doubt?

Time out works really well, roll it up and clap ’em across the head with it.

but actually
time out should be isolation for 1 minute for every year of their age

..well, that is one suggestion anyway. If they continue to be defiant, then another time out follows

He’s 5.

I was in the room every 5 mins giving him an opportunity to apologise

CharlieMungus – Member
but actually
time out should be isolation for 1 minute for every year of their age

Sounds like the OP nailed it then

😀

Got fava beans in the cupboard. No Chianti though…

Malvern Rider – Member
Spit in his chips to make doubly sure.

I put onion in his ragu. He hates onion. I told him it was celery. “I quite like celery”

FFS he wins again.

Sounds like the OP nailed it then

Well, ‘nailed it’ is a generous interpretation, but did the best he could in a difficult situation, subject to all the other stresses and anxieties he faced at the time? Yup, reckon he did that

Thread delivers on so so many STW levels…

I’m enjoying this 🙂

Nice one Cougar. If I’d have said I totally ignored his cries and screams for an hour, you’d have done me on that no doubt?

Wasn’t intending to be an arse, just wondering whether he was attention-seeking.

Another kid punched him in the belly so he spat in the kids face

I reckon in a court of law the wee mans got sufficient cause for self defense. 😆

OP just a phase, a bit like biting and pushing over. You know yourself what works best with your son. If you believe in smacking then this would qualify imo but needs to be done shortly thereafter.

He’s possibly too young perhaps to understand but aside from being very unpleasant is also a health issue capable of transmitting many nasty viruses etc

it’s a mine field of just a phase till the next one and learning the rules and the limits. I am impressed your boy has the motor skills to spit accurately at 5 crankbrat can only manage a scatter gun raspberry when he tries to spit.

I would guess spitting was his instant defence retaliation to being hit and viewed by him as no different and possibly nicer than a punch back . time out and 5 min checks seems about right.

be careful with messages I have spent weeks telling a boisterous crankbrat to be careful with younger children and protect them. intending that he stopped carelessly knocking them over and play gently around them. Last week I got a phone call and letter from school , as best I can establish some reception kids recruited crankbrat in year 1 to take out a bully in year 2, year 2 boy lost a tooth crankbrat a couple of playtimes and an afternoons normal class.