Snail joke

Bah, I was going to post that when I saw the thread title.

(Did it really need an image for two sentences? This isn’t Facebook.)

A man looked at a joke on the Internet, you’ll be amazed at what happened next.

This isn’t Facebook

I saw two pissed up snails having a fight in town on Saturday night. They were properly slugging it out.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

Nick likes this

*Shares*

Why do the French like eating snails…..

They don’t like fast food

Boom. Boom.

What did the snail say when on the tortoise’s back?

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeha!

Slow day guys?

Chortle @ On & on! 😆

A tortoise goes to the police station saying he’s been mugged by a gang of snails

So Mr tortoise what did they look like?

I’ve no idea it all happened so fast..

A man goes to a Halloween party with a woman on his back.
The host asks him, “And what are you?”
The man says, “I’m a snail.”
The host says, “And who’s that on your back?”
And the man says, “That’s Michelle!”

Where do you find giant snails?

At the end of giants fingers …

This is easily the best worst thread in STW history

I’m Poking the OP for the Likes

on and on – very good!

The Past, the Present and the Future walk into a Bar.

The atmosphere was tense.

What did the slug say to the snail?

“Big Issue?”

One day a snail goes out and buys a brand new, black Porsche. As soon as he gets it home he parks it on his driveway, gets out a paintbrush, and starts painting big yellow letter ‘S’s all over the car.

His neighbour sees this out of his window and can’t quite believe what’s going on, so he rushes out and asks “Why on earth are you painting those giant letters all over your brand new car?”
And the snail replies “It’s so that when I overtake people on the motorway they’ll see me speeding past and say ‘Look at that ‘S’ car go!'”

5 snails walking across a lawn singing…..

“Chansons d’amourrrrr”

Man with lawnmower comes by…

Rat, tat, tat, tat, tat

‘Look at that ‘S’ car go!’

Deary me.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?

‘Look at that ‘S’ car go!'”

You are Alfred Drake and I claim my £5.

Can’t believe I just Googled ‘snail jokes’.
I’m going for a lie down.

I can’t believe somebody got the ‘S car go’ joke in before me…

*sadface*

It can always get worse . What’s black & rhymes with Dr Dre ?
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Snoop dog.

A man in a cinema sees what looks like a snail sitting next to him. He says to the steward, “Why is there a snail in this cinema?” The snail answers, “I liked the book”

vongassit – Member
It can always get worse . What’s black & rhymes with Dr Dre ?

It’s even betterer if you tell the joke ploperly:

What’s brown & rhymes with Snoop?