Screaming kid next door – reasonable?

Earplugs for sleeping?

I think it’s reasonable to expect babies to cry [some more than others] and just as reasonable to expect neighbours to tolerate it.
We’d always apologise to neighbours for any inconvenience it may be causing in a … ‘shrug’ – what can you do? sort of way.
I don’t recall any of them taking anything other than a pragmatic view of it.

IME – I can’t imagine any parent putting up with it more than is absolutely unavoidable.

I wouldn’t go for the bed M-F, you’ll still hear them

Well agreed, but it would be a million times better than the stereo screaming I have to listen to every night from my bed 🙂

The poor 1 yr old has probably realised he’s going to spend his working life slaving away to pay the pensions of 240,000,000 STW forum dwellers after they’d trashed his planet and driven up house prices to a level where he’ll never be able to afford anything more than a scrape in the ground covered with a leaky tarpaulin.

I’d be **** livid if I was him.

its a difficult issue.

I think I’d go round and let them know its becoming a pain in the gentlest politest way you can. It may be that they could swap the rooms around so it did not impinge on you so much. It may be there is nothing they can do

Get a PA rig installed in the kids bedroom micced up so when the kid screams it is replayed back to the kid at 140db – they will soon stop crying…

Of course, defeating the feedback loop might be a challange.

There are less kids around these days…and more older grumpy bastards. What is normal kid behaviour is perceived by older grumpy bastards as a problem because they are unfamiliar with it.

My son is 15 months old, and he tends to wake at least once a night, with accompanying yelling.

If you think someone else’s kid yelling in a house next door is bad, wait til you have one of your own in your own home – believe me, the parents next door are probably doing their damndest to make sure their child doesn’t scream.

That said, I do nip ’round to the neighbours every now and then to see if he’s keeping them awake, and we do try to be good neighbours – doing them favours like dump runs and the like.

Hammering at 7.20am is out of order, too – I try and do quiet DIY stuff until 11am at least at the weekends rather than hammering early in the morning.

I’d suggest you go and talk to them – you know, pass the time of day, mention the hammering is a bit of a PITA – and ask how the kid is. It’s probably teething or colic or both, and you should get an apology.

Mind you, why are you asking on here, instead of going next door and talking with them? I’m assuming you’ve passed the time of day with them since they moved in, of course….

In our semi you can hear the neiboughs and they can hear us but thats because its a 1901 semi and the wall between us is a single brick thick and the floor joist from both houses are conected to each other. Its not a problem as we both have kids and talk often as well as givin advaced warning of any unsual noise. Kids cry/scream espicially when very small as you can’t reason with them to get them to stop. WIth our eldest (now 8) we had to do controlled drying as she didn’t like going to bed and would have screaming fits and would sit and shake the stair gate. We knew that she was safe and all that would happen is that she would fall asleep eventually at which point it was easy to put her to bed. this only lasted for around 4-6 weeks but sometimes its the only way you can teach them that you mean what you say. Its not easy to sit and listen to you kid cry/scream so its not a lazy way to pearent.

Kids crying is the same as a dog barking, controllable and a nuisance

LHS – do you have kids?

Controllable? at 1 year old? Are you mad?
My 3 year old wakes up crying and screaming sometimes. He’s only just of an age where I can calm him down if its been a bad dream/overtired from the day before or whatever. Younger than that, no chance

If you ever have kids, and you find yourself in the same situation, there’s NOTHING you can do.

LHS – do you have kids?

3 thanks yes.

Controllable? at 1 year old? Are you mad?

If being mad is picking my baby up to comfort it, feeding it when hungry, changing it when required, singing it to sleep when scared, then yes I am mad.

You may find this a little crazy but some people would describe those parents who just leave their kids to scream for hours in their cots mad!

All kids don’t react like that though LHS

Our first had collic and at times there was no amount of comfort, reassurance or cuddles would calm her.

she’s 21 now and far noisier

Children cry, if you don’t like it live in a cave or detached house.

I am not sure what having a word will do, as I am fairly sure the parents are aware that the child is crying.

This site, does seem to reinforce the stereotype that cyclists are selfish ****, who think that they are the centre of the universe, doesn’t it.

LHS – do you have kids?

Controllable? at 1 year old? Are you mad?

If you ever have kids, and you find yourself in the same situation, there’s NOTHING you can do.

Earplugs for sleeping?

I think it’s reasonable to expect babies to cry [some more than others] and just as reasonable to expect neighbours to tolerate it.
We’d always apologise to neighbours for any inconvenience it may be causing in a … ‘shrug’ – what can you do? sort of way.

You see, that’s what I was intimating on the last page about people becoming insular when they become parents. The reasonable and controllable bit is about how the actions of your family effect others – not the crying per se. I think it would be reasonable for the family with the persistently crying kid to do what they could to reduce the nuisance caused to others first by shifting around the rooms so the little fella was away from an adjoining wall before those effected should resort to ear plugs. There might be NOTHING you can do to stop the screaming kid screaming (and effecting you) but there is often something you can do stop it effecting others.

ps. effect, affect – can never work out which to use….

I am not sure what having a word will do, as I am fairly sure the parents are aware that the child is crying.

they might not realise that the noise travels and they might be able to put the child in a different room where the crying is less audible

This site, does seem to reinforce the stereotype that cyclists are selfish ****, who think that they are the centre of the universe, doesn’t it.

richc – and you appear to be an excellent example of the type!

“my child is crying – they do that – suck it up!”

We’ll see what happens tonight. I’ve got some earplugs but don’t really like using them although I think I’ll have to.

I’ve always – pre- and during parenthood – taken the view that children are an inevitable consequence if being human. Humans wishing to live and otherwise congregate with each other is another.

Before having a child, the sound of a baby or child screaming would cut right through me. Often, I had to fight the urge to think (or even ssay) “shut that kid up.”

After becoming a parent, I think the same thing. But now, I have the pressure of also thinking “this is really loud right next to my ears”, “I can barely think what to do”, why are you crying – what can I do to help?”. My priorities have shifted away from considering my neighbours as top priority, to the rather helpless and upset human in my arms.

I empathise with the disturbed sleep of the OP – when I live in flats and attached houses my neighbours caused enough of it. I also urge the OP seeks to empathise with the parents who, when presented with a screaming child who just won’t stop yelling its head off, will themselves try any *technique* to minimise the crying right now and in the future.

Having a 3 month old I totally agree that sometimes there is nothing that can be done to make them stop crying, and evenig if holding them does you still have to try putting them down to see if they will go to sleep, otherwise you’re stuck in a vicious circle!

However, we do always try to apologise to neighbours if it’s been a bad night, or day for that matter!

BUT, I would expect our neighbours to say something if we were disturbing them, otherwise it’s hard to know what level of sound will get through the walls, I guess I should be trawling internet forums trying to see if they’re whining online about us! Grow some and go speak to them, otherwise they may not know they’re affecting you as badly as you suggest. 🙄

op have you tried a mustache 🙄