Screaming kid next door – reasonable?

Hi,

The adjoining semi had new owners about 2 months ago – young couple with a young kid. Not much of a problem just the odd cry until this week when he started screaming from about 11pm-1am then again at 5-7am every night, to add to this the father starts DIY (hammering) at 7.20am.

I don’t mind the odd bit of crying but to just leave the kid screaming for literally hours is starting to annoy me and now feeling tired at work each day. I’ve cranked up the music on a few morning just to let them know the walls are not soundproof but don’t want to go down that road really.

Is this common in kids aged around 1 years old? Is it me or are they being d*cks? What would you do?

You think it’s bad? Can you imagine how the parents feel?

Colic

Or maybe they trying that technique where you let the baby cry itself out…although I’ve often wondered if that’s just an excuse for lazy parenting!

Not much you can do to be honest…going round to complain is likely to be met with “What do you want us to do? It’s a baby.”

report to social services & then you wont have to make small talk either

It is difficult because the parents can’t just go running every time the child screams – they need to manage the cries (which are often for attention). It is rough on you but they can’t be expected to give in to the child because of you.

Saying that, I have spoken to our neighbour on more than one occasion to ask him if our childrens’ crying keeps him up or disturbs him. He admits he can hear it sometimes but says it doesn’t bother him. I feel I can’t do much more than that.

As for hammering at that time – weekdays or weekends? I was doing DIY on Sunday morning (drilling right through two exterior walls to put in a co-ax feed to a new TV. I could have started at 7am (our girls were up at 5am 🙁 ) but I did other stuff and waited till about 10.30am which I thought was a fairer time to be drilling.

Perhaps have a polite word about the hammering but just joke about the crying – maybe he will take a hint and try to manage the cries a bit differently.

^ with druidh on this one.

We had one who would not sleep and screamed every 40mins-hr each night for 18 months – we then ended up with a week of nights of screaming for 3-4hours per night to break the habit it became. We did go round neighbours and speak and let them know mind.

I take your point, d, but equally they should know how their neighbours feel. Maybe they are trying, and a week is far too soon to expect results. I had a more distant neighbour whose son screamed and squealed right up to the age of five or six. Somehow then someone got it under control. Fortunately I only noticed it outdoors.

Then they got a dog of a nervous nature, and left it alone in their garden all day. Some neighbours are born like that.

Kids cry – get over it. You should try living with the crying rather than next to it.

Some neighbours are born like that.

what – prone to complain about anything 🙄

Child crying, accept it. It’s all part of life.

Hammering at 7:20 in the morning? Taking the piss, have a word.

Its common…parents will no doubt be sick of it and wired too – they’ve had it for the full year.

Controlled crying is in no way a lazy option (where you leave the kid for short periods to scream). The easy option is to continually run after the kid every time it screams but this just builds up a problem later on – the kid learns that by screaming they can get their own way…

Wonder what the dad was building after a night of screaming… 😈

I suspect they’re trying the “let the kid cry itself out” technique (which will be good for you in the long term) and it could all have been sorted if they’d let you know first.

What do you expect the parents to do? Gag the baby? The hammering is out of order, though. However, you won’t have gained much of a reprieve since it’s acceptable to make noise from 7.30am to 9pm according to Manchester council, so yours might be the same.

Having said that, a new family has moved opposite me (ground floor of a small development of flats) and their kids fail to appreciate that other people live close by. Can’t hear them in their flat, but they are noisy sods and they’ve filled up the hallway with bikes so you have to weave your way past, and it’s scratched the paint. OK, so not technically my problem but like everyone else it comes out of my service charge to fix.

They chose to have a kid so not much sympathy with the parents to be honest.

I’ve not spoken to them much but they don’t seem like bad parents but it would be good of them to ask if it was disturbing us or just move the kid to the room farthest away from our house.

The hammering was this morning, if it 7.20am on a weekend I’d be having words.

I CALL TROLL!!!!

They chose to have a kid so not much sympathy with the parents to be honest.

It’s your parents that I feel a bit sorry for, ending up with a kid like you.

Or fair troll on the screaming, poor one on the diy.

……we moved into a house 2 months ago, its a semi and our child is having sleep issues at the mo we are trying different strategies to help us get some sleep, then to top it all off our neighbour cranked up the music on a few mornings…..

Its a 1 year old child, they cry, its been one week. HTFU.

If you have a little’un and are aware that their noise could be making your neighbour’s life a bit hellish (and yours too, but it was your lifestyle choice 😉 ) would it be unreasonable to consider moving the sleeping arrangements around if possible so they were not in a room with an adjoining wall? A bit of inconvenience for you for the sake of the neighbours. Sadly most folk I know seem to metamorphosis (“we’ll never be one of those parents!’) on child birth and become a little self involved about such things.

Edit – I tend to go around with beer/wine/flowers when I know I have been a pita neighbour. Parties & DIY certainly count but I would have thought problems with small noisy sprogs it would also be good. It does not reduce the problem but at least they know you are thinking of them and are aware of the problem.

Starting noisy DIY at 7:20 am is definitely unreasonable – I’d have no issues with challenging a neighbour about that (unless it was a one-off) … in my opinion, 8am is just about acceptable if it’s really necessary, but we’re always up and about by then so it wouldn’t be disturbing us … if I’m expecting to make any (possibly) disturbing noise I’ll do the courtest of letting the neighbours know beforehand …

Re. the screaming baby, unless they’re utterly oblivious/inconsiderate the parents are probably well aware of the disturbance it’s causing, thus adding to the stress of dealing with him/her. After a point, there’s not much you can do with a screamer. If it’s just for attention then the ‘leave them to cry themselves out’ is arguably the best thing to do, otherwise all they learn is that screaming gets them what they want. Thus in the long term, they just become spoilt, demanding little brats.

My baby daughter has taken to screaming at 5am. I’m not aware of anything that would stop her, that wouldn’t be classified as abuse.

……we moved into a house 2 months ago, its a semi and our child is having sleep issues at the mo we are trying different strategies to help us get some sleep, then to top it all off our neighbour cranked up the music on a few mornings…..

Why were you hammering and banging around at 7.20 am though?

vinnyeh – If you don’t have anything useful to say then can you please refrain from childish remarks.

Not a troll just wanted to see if this was normal behaviour from the kid and hear some of your experiences.

The last two night both our girls (2 years old) were up for 3 hours screaming. Nothing would calm them, it was just the way they were.

If my neighbour came round to complain I would probably rush into his unlocked house, lock the door behind me and go to sleep on his bed.

Perhaps he was building a neighbourhood naughty step ?

I had neighbours once who came round to say sorry about the crying baby for the next few months…I didn’t used to like them much, but I wish they were still there compared to the bastards who moved in after them.

To be fair I think if it were my kid I’d move it to the furthest room away, my cringe glands would be throbbing more than my sleep deprived eyes if I thought the neighbours lives were being disturbed by my own troubles.

@rkk – distant neighbours, I said, I never complained. Others, nearer, did about the dog. It went, or learned to be quiet.

MRanger156 – You don’t live in Salford do you? I reckon that’s me 😀

More a reflection on one of our neighbours…

… they seem to alternate their complaints around the 3-4 houses closest to them. Neighbours the other side were “allegedly” forced to install new double glazing because of barking dog.

They’re currently complaining about our dog barking – despite attracting it’s attention through the fence then ignoring. There’ll be a spate of knocks on our door, then it will be one of the other neighbours turn…

They chose to have a kid so not much sympathy with the parents to be honest.

🙄

you chose to live in a semi=detached house so absolutely no sympathy for you 😀

no you live in brentford, i think thats my family

Kids crying is the same as a dog barking, controllable and a nuisance.

you chose to live in a semi=detached house so absolutely no sympathy for you

No-one chooses to live in a semi-detached house, it’s just that they can’t afford to live in a detached in a suitable location (myself included). So you’re suggesting he deserves to have noise nuissance because he can’t afford better? Novel.

Why were you hammering and banging around at 7.20 am though?

to drown out the crying. lol.

to drown out the crying. lol.

😆

Causing a nuisance – tough luck

Causing a Statutory Nuisance – not acceptable, but difficult to verify either way???

When we moved into the house our neighbour was an elderly lady, never heard a peep from her.

Poor house deign really, why have the two master bedrooms sharing a wall.

I don’t think its a noise complaint issue, just would expect a bit of courtesy really.

mastiles_fanylion – Member
If my neighbour came round to complain I would probably rush into his unlocked house, lock the door behind me and go to sleep on his bed.

😆

If my neighbour came round to complain I would probably rush into his unlocked house, lock the door behind me and go to sleep on his bed.

I wouldn’t go for the bed M-F, you’ll still hear them 😉