[Closed] Rude....

Roadie?

You okay hun ???

Rubber - Goes without saying of course! But then so was I at that particular moment.

Maybe the fact that I have a gravel bike and a hardtail hanging in the garage back home made me more predisposed to offer a basic human greeting, but I think it goes beyond that. This is about how miserable we have become and I swear the f’ing pandemic has given people even more of an excuse to be more selfish and antisocial.

Geezer - if there’s a hug on offer in that response, I’ll take it.

Bet he was one of those bloody gravel parvenus.
Skinwalls too I reckon.
Makes my boils bleed blood boil!

..or someone finally manages to get a bit of time to themselves, goes out for a ride, sees someone coming the other way so keeps their head down and avoids eye contact so they can stay in their splendid isolation, only to be confronted by another cyclist trying to engage them in conversation.

Was it dark still and do you have full on lights?

I've noticed that many cyclist with 'proper' lights (prob me included) are nothing but a fireball coming in the other direction. As they pass I could not tell if they are male or female, what they are wearing or if waving or not.

Re the hello - lost in the rainy background noise with something over your ears because of the cold?

Nick - was it you? all I said was hello. Wasn’t trying to engage him in deep conversation.

Convert - no blinding. Just gentle ‘get yourself seen’ pretty twinkly lights.

Roadies are weird. I passed a guy once coming the other way. I was riding a fatbike on the pavement, I popped a wheelie and shouted a cheery “Hiya!”

Not a flicker.

I wish I’d been wearing jeans to make his revulsion complete.

Common misconception; roadies always acknowledge other roadies, but the puppyish over-enthusiasm of the mamil is never returned in kind. Such a gesture would upset that Swiss watch-like cadence so next time keep an eye out for the lifting of an index finger on the bar, almost imperceptible nod, or the subtle raising of an eyebrow behind the Oakleys.

I would not have even acknowledged you either. I don't know you and you are just another road user and I don't wave at all the cars I see. Big deal, you are riding a bike and so am I.

I exchange greetings with roadies on a regular basis. Granted it may be just a Yorkshire raised finger salute rather than a conversation.

Kelley - That told me. Please forgive my friendliness. Won’t do it again.

You can do whatever you want, just don't expect everyone to say anything back as not everyone is you or thinks like you.

Headphones on? Maybe didn’t hear your greeting?

I drove past somebody who was driving a Saab 93-X. I pipped and waved and he gave me the finger. It really made me laugh.

I smile and say hi to dog walkers and other cyclists. For me its about the giving, they don't have to respond, just makes me feel happier when they do.

That's good and I don't feel happier doing it so I don't. Doesn't mean I am rude, I just don't think the same way as you.

Can't help but think this thread would've been funnier had nobody responded to Solar.

edit- wordnumb, yes agreed.

Ok I am assuming you want advice and opinions on this, otherwise you wouldn't post it here.
TLDR:
Offence is chosen, you have chosen to be offended. End of story.

Detail:
You need to harden up, that bloke basically owns you now, he got right under your skin, and you chose to take a dose of negativity from it.
I would hazard a guess that the main reason is that you need to learn to effectivly manage your own expectations of other people. You are perpetuating the negativity by coming here and saying it?
Before you pass judgement on a fellow rider, think of the multitude of reasons as to why he might have not waved, his son/wife/dad/dog just died of cv19/terrorism/electric chair/cancer. He is concetrating on getting his head down and may not have even noticed you.
Choose to see that the other person had zero intention to offend or upset you, in fact it may be the opposite, and you really have no way of knowing, which means you have chosen to interpret this as negativity.
Just let it go, you will be a lot happier.

You have thought about this on a far deeper level than I would have ever taken it to.

But ultimately ‘you weren’t there man’. I appreciate he wasn’t deliberately trying to piss me off. He was just rude in as much as the natural animal instinct of 2 humans meeting in the middle of nowhere would (I think at least) be to acknowledge each other.

Before you pass judgement on a fellow rider, think of the multitude of reasons as to why he might have not wave

Careful not to be hoisted by your own petard there. 2020 has seen me lose my father to cancer with 5 days notice, my grandmother to Alzheimer’s and whilst I haven’t lost a relative to the electric chair (slightly unlikely outcome I must admit) none of it changes my positive outlook on the world and my fellow humans.

My ride this morning and the fact that I have been unable to ride during the week was actually a release as a result of having to deal with the emotional and bureaucratic aftermath of both events and the impact it has had on my mother.

Just saying.....

I am sorry for your loss and admire your choices to be positive.

none of it changes my positive outlook on the world and my fellow humans. Just saying…..

Be the change people, be the change.

EDIT:

Look, given your circumstances, take the positives out of your riding and cling on to them. You were having a lovely ride, some small non-thing shouldn't be the thing you take away from it.

Doesn’t mean I am rude

....but possibly on the spectrum?

Saying hello to anyone and everyone on a crowded city street would be pretty odd (and exhausting) but coming across a stranger in the middle of nowhere who acknowledges your existence and not even responding in some minor form would be considered by the vast vast majority of the population as weird/tossery. Like not saying a quick thank you when someone keeps a door open for you or not not waving/blipping lights to another driver who has pulled into a passing place on a singletrack road for you to pass. The only people generally guilty of this are teenagers, self absorbed big city dwellers still operating in 'city mode' and as I say those on the spectrum (I hasten to add not all in the above categories would behave like that, those are just the categories with members that tend to behave like that).

We are two kindreds spirits.

Clearly you are not, you are a needy attention whore who can't even have a simple bike ride without desperately seeking validation from others, while his actions seem to indicate he isn't or was just lost in thought. And it's not the incident that confirms your character, but the fact that you needed to create a thread on such a cliched meme.

none of it changes my positive outlook on the world and my fellow humans. Just saying…..

Well that statement clearly contradicts the theme of your original post.

Hatchet faced, joyless roadie who's sold his//her (insert gender) soul to Strava. Gravel riders are definitely worse though IME ;o)

Don't worry it's just another skirmish in the "be nice, say hi" wars

Don't let them win, don't join their side, stick with it, victory can be ours!!

I now feel foolish and naive.

I have learned my lesson and will retreat into a less needy more self centred mindset.

After years of thinking that being polite was something to aspire to I have had my eyes opened and my mind narrowed. Little did I know that it was in fact me being rude all this time by not giving due consideration to whether the other person might be dealing with the state execution of a loved one.

Just what I needed. Thanks all! Happy Christmas!

solarider - you'll get a cheery hello from me, and most folk I know.

Just what I needed. Thanks all! Happy Christmas!

After years of thinking that being polite was something to aspire to I have had my eyes opened and my mind narrowed.

This Above ^^^ completely condradicts this below

I now feel foolish and naive.

I have learned my lesson and will retreat into a less needy more self centred mindset.

You are still just choosing to be offended and negative.

This thread was somewhat lighthearted and tongue in cheek but has taken quite an unexpected turn. It is just one step away from a trip into Brexit territory.

I do seem to be in the minority (on the hand waving, not in voting to remain - oops there I go!).

Surprised but it won’t be the first or last surprise of the year I am sure!

I am a roadie and always say hi to anyone and nearly always get a positive response.

The odd time I don’t I don’t I just assume they’re foreign and don’t speak English. Brexit can’t come soon enough - that’ll learn ‘em

(The second paragraph is a joke btw - I assume they are either a) right on the rivet or b) are just generally not in the mood for it)

I do seem to be in the minority .

You are not. Far from it. 35 years of riding bikes and 48 years of being a human has taught me you are in very good company. It's just online forums collect a certain 'type'. Oh, and I suspect many responses are pretty light hearted too.

Carry on as you were, the world is better for it. The grumps can jump in the sea (or swill around an online forum self-affirming they are normal).

I do seem to be in the minority

No you are among thousands of others in repeating the most played out "joke" on cycling forums. But never mind you have received some attention now, so clouds and silver linings.

But never mind you have received some attention now

Another valuable life lesson delivered well and taken onboard. I had no idea that the concept of engaging in a brief acknowledgement of fellow man whilst on a ride and engaging in conversation on a bike related chat forum was actually such a narcissistic and selfish act.

This thread has challenged my values and changed me fundamentally as a human being.

I shall be sure to pop back anytime I need an emotional lift from the faceless trolls of STW. Perhaps seeking the solace of close friends and family concerning the really big issues has been another lifelong habit that needs reforming when there is such a steady stream of advice here.

It was the same on my road ride first thing this morning. A few greetings from other riders but one guy totally blanked me.
I tend to give a full on wave along with a cheery good morning so this guy probably thought I was a twunt. He's quite likely correct. 😁

Eddiebaby

What exactly are "Skinwall Tyres?"

the fair weather lockdown cyclists were a distant memory

TBH after that sneery little dig I'm taking the OP's profession of open-hearted friendliness and goodwill to all men with a pinch of salt.

I shall be sure to pop back anytime I need an emotional lift from the faceless trolls of STW.

Rather hypocritical seeing you started this thread just to slag someone off. Maybe next time you are so offended by a lack of acknowledgment of your special existence, you should chase them down and explain to them how rude they are to not acknowledge you, instead of posting on a "faceless" forum.

I have started to write all of this solid gold advice down in my journal of life lessons. I don’t want to miss a single nugget of goodness.

Some people say hi and wave, some don’t. Some are rude some are shy and some had the last three riders they encountered blank them and can’t be bothered.  I wouldn’t worry about it, stay cheery.  I don’t think its a new thing either, twenty years ago I’d have been reading similar on a motorcycle forum about other riders not nodding and it probably still comes up today

I honestly can't remember the last time a mountain biker didn't say hello back on the trails, but does that mean we're better than roadies.......... Yep. 🙂

OP

You are totally in the right.
This forum has been infiltrated by roadies so much to the extent that a post about MTB generally gets few responses, whereas a post titled “what bidon for my gravel bib tights velodrome Ineos” will be inundated.

Next time pull a boss wheelie or do a big skid, that’ll learn em

I always say a cheery hi to roadies - either they say hello back or glower at me in a most annoyed way 😀

Solarider sed > the fair weather lockdown cyclists were a distant memory

Then Johnners sed > I’m taking the OP’s profession of open-hearted friendliness and goodwill to all men with a pinch of salt.

And going by the name Solarider you'd want to question his dismissal of fair-weather cyclists as well. Can anything in this thread be taken at face value? The UCI should publish standard greetings for bike-related interactions appropriate to one's kit and world ranking.

Roadies? When cycling I like to hail them under the pretence that I have a puncture with no repair/kit or mobile. When/if they pull over, I then produce a Ghillie Kettle and some dry sticks out of my pannier and offer them a freshly-brewed cup of tea and a ‘verge-ual café’ (as I often jest) sit-down on a handy folding tripod stool (from the other pannier)

Normally they seem very busy and not keen to enjoy the prospect of impromptu tea with a fellow cyclista so tend to leave (abruptly) upon hearing my invitation.

Nonetheless, all is not lost as I do like very much to see them perform the ‘running mount’, and will shout encouragement as they build speed and regain their line.

Me: ‘Fare thee well, brave fellow/lass. Maybe next time I’ll have some coffee, or even a soup, more to your taste?’

Them: (distant, garbled) ‘Somethingtalist somethingoff!’

Me: ‘Cheery bye then!...’

Take-home: Tea for one is still tea! And I did offer.

But seriously...

I understand to a degree. I’m a ‘greeter’ on lonely stretches, even if sometimes just a nod, but I learned not to to expect or to assume.

Mrs P (moving here from the US ) noted decades ago how weird it is in the UK to say ‘hi’ to a passing stranger when back home it was very common. In fact when moving here she spent years trying to get a local woman to say ‘hello’ back whenever she’d see her (while walking the dog). A ‘hello-off/standoff’ developed as the first cheery ‘hello’ was badly received. The woman would respond at first with a glare and then eventually over successive attempts would avert her eyes. Mrs P has a perverse and dogged sense of humour and so pursued it with the cheery greetings. Eventually the local woman returned a ‘hello’ about four years later 😂🤣

The woman now works in a local supermarket and smiles a (real) cheery ‘hello’ when she recognises Mrs P. Mrs P has since confided to me that she herself does not now always feel like saying ‘hello’ back to her. The mixed spoils of the vctor!

Don’t overthink it 😉

Most of all - sorry for your personal losses OP (virtual hugs)

Wordnumb - UCI rule 15.4.35.12:

‘The regulation road salutation shall be with one hand (anything between 1 and 5 digits thereof) raised at a minimum of 12.4mm, but no greater than 300.6mm. The accompanying vocal greeting (at the rider’s discretion) shall be in the range of 3-8dB. The response to the salutation is entirely at the discretion of the saluted rider, and may be dependent upon their bicycle choice and their general approach to the STW topic of ‘Rude...’ on 12/12/20. With regards to the bicycle choice, there shall be greater expectation on the more off road orientated rider than their road biased relations’.

I honestly can’t remember the last time a mountain biker didn’t say hello back on the trails, but does that mean we’re better than roadies………. Yep

You mustn't ride often

Mtbers can be worse, the number of threads on here about someone buzzing a kids back wheel, dropping in on them etc

My MTB gear is in Weymouth so I’ve been roadying it up this summer and enjoying it. The hunvee shorts, baggy T-shirt, flat pedals and cowboy hat look does seem to alienate my new peer group. Maybe it’s the cheery smile that’s putting them off?

I once got to the top of Mam Tor on a gorgeous sunny day and gave a cheery hello to the middle aged couple already there. They looked at me as if I’d just smeared dogshit over my face whilst grinning at them. Never again. I suspect it’s because I wasn’t wearing the correct gear.

People are just weird. Or maybe that guy was going through some bad stuff and your presence didn’t even register.

When I started commuting to London, pre covid you should have heard the gasps of exasperation when being polite in the queue to get on the train!

I didn't take long to unlearn all the pleasantries and politeness when getting on the tube, wfh is my saviour I can be polite again!

….but possibly on the spectrum?

Yes, I am very much "on the spectrum" thanks, and maybe the other rider was too, a lot of us are.
OP needs to maybe just think about that next time and don't assume the person is rude. Don't worry though I have put up with this for 50+ years and can't see it changing ay time soon...

If he saw you on a gravel bike/MTB he probably just had the hump because you will have, no doubt, been having more fun than he has.

This thread was somewhat lighthearted and tongue in cheek but has taken quite an unexpected turn.

Par for the course on here. You could start a thread on the most light hearted jovial topic and within the first page some middle aged, bitter, killjoy will derail it. Tis the STW way. Some people on here are just very serious or have pent up impotent rage.

I'm a roadie (mostly) and always acknowledge other riders, walkers, horse riders and (say it quietly) motor vehicle operatives that don't try to kill me. I have found that here in Gloucestershire I'm far more likely to be blanked by club cyclists (who by the way hog the whole lane 3 abreast) and mountain bikers! However, I really don't care, life's too short.

Some proper miserable bastards in this world 😂

I once got to the top of Mam Tor on a gorgeous sunny day and gave a cheery hello to the middle aged couple already there. They looked at me as if I’d just smeared dogshit over my face whilst grinning at them. Never again. I suspect it’s because I wasn’t wearing the correct gear.

Maybe you were interrupting sexytimes.

Clearly there's a case to be made for registration plates for all bicycles so that rude cyclists can be held to account and made to explain themselves. Big heavy aero-un-dynamic registration plates, no custom colours.

Thanks for the UCI info Solar, looks to be the short version but enough to be going on.

Try riding in majorca
So many cyvlists from all over Europe you simply cannot acknowledge them.
Unless they overyake you whilst whistling la marsailles wjilst smoking a camal blue going up sa calobra. Then i wholeheartedly encourage them onwards

You can do whatever you want, just don’t expect everyone to say anything back as not everyone is you or thinks like you.

Or thinks like you do, either. Thankfully. 🖕🏼

You can wish.

I explained why not everyone will be acknowledging you, you can believe that and learn from it or you can just continue to expect everyone to acknowledge you and then write a post on a forum each time they ignore you. Up to you...

This is a little pet prejudice of mine and I admit it.😁

I ride my mtb on the roads a fair amount as I always ride to the natural trails around here on the north downs.

I make a point of saying a cheery "hi" to most people I pass once I'm on the quiet roads. The one demographic that I can almost predict won't acknowledge me are roadies. 😁

I still say hi though as just occasionally I am acknowledged and it reminds me that generalisations based upon the type of bike someone rides are a bit daft really.

solarider - I'd have given you a big smile - here's one now 😃 - and gone home and said: what a great ride ... this bloke gave me a wave and said hello ... how nice.

Sorry to hear about your losses this year.

Never too pro to say hello

https://www.thenorfcc.co.uk/ourshop/prod_7307272-casquette-never-too-pro.html

Yes, I am very much “on the spectrum” thanks, and maybe the other rider was too, a lot of us are.
OP needs to maybe just think about that next time and don’t assume the person is rude. Don’t worry though I have put up with this for 50+ years and can’t see it changing ay time soon…

Interesting. I've worked (pastoral lead at a boarding school) with quite a lot of late teens with aspergers or autism, hence why I made the guess from the way you type.

One lad in particular sticks in the memory. Very intelligent and very successful both academically and as a sportsman. Lovely lad but used to make some social blunders. I remember him coming to my flat with a group of kids and there being 6 bits of cake out for them - one each. He grabbed three and when the others gave him a wtf look he said he was hungry. He then sat down on the sofa in such a way that there was not enough space for everyone else to have a seat. After a while the others all picked up the social cues it was time to leave and started to make a move - he asked for another cup of tea. As we got to know each other better he asked me to point out when he was getting it wrong socially. He felt he'd never 'get it' naturally, but wanted to learn the rules so he could act them out and fit in better.

I don't think you get to decide if you are being rude or not. If you don't think you are is largely irrelevant. I suspect you often do appear rude to others and spend a life where the behaviour those around you is impacted by that. From your response above you have clearly decided to go for a '**** it, this is me - act accordingly approach'. TBH, I think the boy I described above has a better attitude.

OP

You are totally in the right.

Agreed. Hang in there.

Never mind the bloke that blanked you on the bike, but some of the replies earlier in this thread are the epitome of bellendery.

Hollyrood for example. What is wrong with you?

Convert..... WTAF? Seriously! WHAT THE ACTUAL.......

I know a number of people who work in the Private Sector who display waaayyyyy more self-awareness than you. You give Boarding Schools a bad name. You'd get absolutely nowhere working in a State Comp with an attitude like that.

What a very odd attitude for a teacher to have. (Your knowledge of ASD is appalling.)

I also suspect that your anecdote is a complete fabrication. Also suspect your "Pastoral Role" would have been a non-teaching role and would have mostly involved screaming at the 2nd XV from the sidelines. That aint a "Pastoral Role" mate.

On Friday I spent my time entering data, dealing with a myriad of safeguarding issues, teaching Virtual School, Teaching "Normal" lessons, doing a double commute between sites, sorting 2 on-line bullying incidents, answering irate e-mails from parents, organising secret Santa and trying to scrape 3 ASD kids off the walls of the Student Support Block because another kid had kindly told them that Santa was dead because of Covid. AND I'M NOT EVEN PASTORAL!!!!! Just a bloody main-grade teacher.

Christ! The situations that HOY have to deal with would turn your shit white.

Pastoral!!! LOL...... Tea and Tiffin with the Upper Sixth in your wee flat!!!!

You make me laugh!

Well that escalated quickly! STW comes up trumps when there's nowt on the telly worth watching!

OP, sorry to hear of your loss. I'd have waived back whatever, but equally unfussed if I get snubbed by others, though that's relatively rare in my experience. Whatever kind of bike they ride.

An innocent enough opening post and it's all kicked off as if the Hezbollah marching band were booked to play at the Mossad Hanukkah party.

This comes up all the time. It doesn't bother me but I have noticed fewer responses to my nods these days. Ho hum.

Funny how these threads only ever go the same way.
Some people say hi, some don’t for whatever reason (& you’ll never really know why)
Don’t get your knickers in a twist.

If you think they're rude to cyclists, try running past them, I'm sure they hold their breaths!.

I often run past the same guys I cycle past on my commute, completely different response.

Dicks.

Does anybody recall the Imperial Gunner who had his sights trained on the escape pod carrying R2-D2 and C3PO right at the start of Episode 4 back in 1977? If only he would have fired, it would have saved an awful lot of anguish........

Well, if only that chap would have waved this morning, look what we all would have missed.....

One of the first questions I ever asked back on the bike magic forum circa 1995 was ....are roadies generally unfriendly? Obviously because I’d offer a friendly wave and would be mostly ignored. 25 years on and I just ignore them now unless they wave first.

In Mallorca this year on a solitary road ride ( due to empty COVID roads) I was overtaken on a road bike by someone from a North of England cycling club ( struggling to recall the name) and not a ****in word .....tosser!

This is a bit of a thing in motorcycling too. Bikers generally nod to each other in UK or wave elsewhere where they ride on the right. Conventional wisdom has it that BMW GS and Harley riders are the "roadies" of the motorbike world and don't wave back, but that's not my experience.

In popular riding spots you sometimes have to sack it though, constantly nodding at dozens of passing bikes with a heavy helmet on would give you some kind of repetitive strain injury. Much easier on the continent where you can do a casual wave.

Living in Sheffield, I totally subscribe to the 'be nice, say hi' motto. It is quite easy for me, as I grew up in the Rhondda Valleys. In a place that was decimated by Thatcher, and could sometimes be a little rough around the edges, most people acknowledged each other as they passed whilst walking. I struggled when moving to Sheffield, as I have no issues saying hi or acknowledging almost everyone I meet. But in a big city it's unrealistic, so I often say hi/morning or whatever, and regularly get blanked. I still stick with it though.

With regards cycling, I had a break of about 12 years from moving to Sheffield at 18, until I started working in the Hospital in Rotherham at 30. Worked with a total legend of a man (sadly passed away a few years back), who was a big advocate of the nod. Regularly accompanied with the cheery hello. He was a roadie. I almost always try to at least nod. But again, I don't expect that everyone will respond in kind. It's understandable to be disappointed when you try to be nice and someone doesn't return the kindness.

Anyone else occasionally make racing car noises as they ride past people?

I suspect you often do appear rude to others and spend a life where the behaviour those around you is impacted by that. From your response above you have clearly decided to go for a ‘**** it, this is me – act accordingly approach’.

That comment just proves that you don't have a clue what it is like actually being autistic.
I haven't decided to "go for" anything, I just mentally don't get why I should acknowledge a complete stranger as I am not programmed in that way. If it was a person I knew I would say hello as otherwise in MY mind that would be rude. See the difference there?, what is seen as rude is not the same to everyone.

The point being is that we are all different and if some people don't want to acknowledge complete strangers they pass (for all sorts or reasons) that is just how it works.

Try going to the netherlands. Their version of politeness is to ignore everyone so as not to intrude on them. so no one acknowledges you. In a two week tour there on what is an unusual bike even for the netherland ( MTB tandem flying a large saltire) one person acknowledged us. the bike drew people to it when parked but when riding - totally ignored