Risk vs Reward

I know you’re not supposed to do it due to risk of further infection, but I’ve just burst a massive custardy spot on the base of my nose and the relief is indescribable. It’s like an annoying noise suddenly stops and you didn’t realise it was annoying until it stopped and you think “oh thank god for that.” To hell with potential sepsis, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

What have you got? Tales of DIY surgery or just random crap, what did you do that conventional wisdom says you shouldn’t but you thought “bugger it” and it paid off?

I’ve also just thought, number of posts to get to Louise might be STW’s equivalent of the Bacon Number. I’m laying claim to “Louise Number” degrees of separation right here.

Risk of hitting a big double in a race run – High

Chance of beating mate if I clear it – Guaranteed.

Didn’t pay off. Broke my collarbone and 6 ribs…

Did buy a very high percentage of raffle tickets once, and subsequently won the prize having spent a 1/4 of it’s value buying the tickets.

DIY surgery? Reminds me of the Russian guy who cut his own appendix out.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-32481442

I’ve always squeazed spots… I don’t tend to get any decent ones though, now I’m older…

…I almost miss popping high pressure ones I has as a teen..

Not really on topic, but speaking of sepsis, kinda related and made me cackle at the time…

Going back some years….My best friend came round, and was hammering on my front door quite urgently, so I let him in, he’s clearly in a bit of a panic.

“What’s up?” I ask…

“Got any Vodka?” is the reply.

Bear in mind my friend is pretty much teetotal, so this is very strange indeed!

I said, “no? why do you want some vodka, you don’t drink?!”

He says his young sister has grazed her knee but it’s really muddy and dirty, and he needs to clean it.

“oh” I say. “there’s a bottle of surgical spirit in the first aid kit, that any good?”

“that’ll do!” he apologeticaly says, and he’s off like a flash just as fast as he arrived.

And I’m there just like… lol/wtf?

Made me laugh as the cut did need cleaning, but he was in such a hyper stress about it!

Lancing a boil on my shoulder the size of a powerball, with a Stanley knife blade, twenty five years ago is still the outstanding highlight of life thus far. Er….yeah. Carry on.

I once had a largish skin tag in that, you know, in-between area.

Decided it’d be a good idea to remove it with nail clippers. I did numb it with ice first.

But, oh my god, it hurt. And it bled, a lot. I was walking like John Wayne for a week.

Put some aftershave on a bit of cloth and wipe the area to sterilize it.

Then squeeze spot.

Give it another wipe.

Try not to let the tears streaming from your eyes to infect it.

—-

While i was training for meat inspection at Glasgow abattoir, we’d a cow carcass hanging that seemed to have some sort of infection in the chest area.

Cut in to expose the prescapular lymph node, which is tucked behind the first rib neck end. The lymph node would show if infection was present.

Discovered it was infected,oh yes indeedy. There was a pus filled abscess covering most of the upper chest.

It was under pressure, but sticking a knife into it solved that problem.

Everyone within 5′ got a shower as it hit the floor and splashed up. I reckon there was pints of the stuff.

Many years ago we went skiing/boarding in the Pyrenees. A friend fell over and did his right shoulder in. He was in pain but didn’t want to end the holiday fun so we strapped him up with a makeshift sling and carried on. A bit later down he goes again but on the other shoulder. This time he’s properly done in and we have to call in the blood wagon. They turn up, see the arm in its sling and promptly try and pick him up by his ‘good’ arm, you know, the one he’s just completely knackered. Boy did he howl before we managed to stop them.

He spent the rest of the week with both arms strapped up. Had to drink beer through a pipe we made from several straws. Luckily I wasn’t his roommate, he needed help to use the toilet.

*and I’m done with breakfast*  ?

Urrgh, not the thread to open while having morning coffee and toast…

I did a mole/skin tag once that was annoying me in the area under my arm where t-shirts always have the stitching for the sleeve. Looped the thing with fishing line and cinched it tight to cut the bloodflow, waited a bit, then sliced it off with a razor blade. It _STILL_ hurt. And bled.

Still, it’s not there now, so all is good.

I made coffee this morning and realized the milk was one day past its use-by date but I just said, “**** it, sometimes you’ve got to do some wild shit just to mix things up a bit,” and used it anyway. I’ll get back to you later to report how things turn out.

Reminds me of the Russian guy who cut his own appendix out.

Was he on the tube?

Just some advice on skin tags, I’ve cut them off before and indeed they bleed a fair bit. Much better to tie them off with some thread and they simply drop off after a week without any bleeding or scarring.

Love to squeeze a spot, I have a crush on Dr Pimple Popper.

I get big pads of hard skin on my right foot because the knackered ankle makes me walk funny. I paid a chiropodist to ‘treat it’ and they simply used a sharp scalpel to cut the bulk of it off and they filed the remainder. I have been using my own scalpel, cleaned in alcohol first, to do it every since.

The skiing/arm incident reminds me of one of the early Big Bike Bash incidents. I was on stage dancing alongside the band. The ‘stage’ was a flatbed truck and about head height with the crowd when I decided to do a stage dive. I didn’t really look at the crowd before launching into a perfect swallow dive. Ad I hit the ground dislocating both shoulders and breaking 2 ribs I realise the ‘crowd’ I had dived into was a single 10 year old child who simply stepped to one side as I thudded into the ground. This was on the Friday night warm up BEFORe the weekend event so I pushed one shoulder back into the socket, sort of got the other one back in place and spent the weekend unable to lift either arm above about waist height and drinking beer through a straw.

Had a feeling WCA would be on this thread at some point…

Everyone within 5′ got a shower as it hit the floor and splashed up. I reckon there was pints of the stuff.

This is why royal coffins are lead-lined. There was a really unpopular king, might have been Edward the Conqueror, I’d have to look it up. When he died everyone thought “**** him” and left him in the sun to stew for a few days. Come the funeral, he exploded and everyone nearby got covered in bits of dead king. Since then they’ve lined the coffins as a preservative measure.

when I decided to do a stage dive.

I saw a guy do a stage dive once. I forget where, it wasn’t a large place, maybe The Mill in Preston.

He’d been a nob all night, you know there’s always one who’s a litre beyond sensibility and moshing with zero spatial awareness, shouldering into people who just want to listen to a band. Anyway, he climbed up onto the stage, gave a big cheer and threw both arms in the air triumphantly, then leapt into the crowd. Which parted akin to Moses at the Red Sea. Our hero hit the deck flat like the whale in Hitch-Hiker’s Guide. Security came and removed him, after they’d stopped giggling like children.

Dug a wart out of my finger with a compass point during a school lesson. To be fair, it was a chemistry lesson and I sterilised the point in a flame. Wow did it bleed! And lett a hole that eventually healed. I can’t even remember which finger.

[WorldClassAccident]

WorldClassAccident

Free Member

I get big pads of hard skin on my right foot because the knackered ankle makes me walk funny. I paid a chiropodist to ‘treat it’ and they simply used a sharp scalpel to cut the bulk of it off and they filed the remainder. I have been using my own scalpel, cleaned in alcohol first, to do it every since.

have found the sanding action with a multi-tool is very effective!

I get big pads of hard skin on my right foot because the knackered ankle makes me walk funny. I paid a chiropodist to ‘treat it’ and they simply used a sharp scalpel to cut the bulk of it off and they filed the remainder. I have been using my own scalpel, cleaned in alcohol first, to do it every since.

Wow did it bleed!

I was totally waiting for that sentence.

As a kid I took a knife to what I realise now was a verruca, at the time I thought was just a black spot. I had no concept of just how deep the root was and it absolutely pissed blood. I think the only time I’ve ever bled more profusely from a tiny injury was when I cut my lip shaving, I was starting to think I’d have to go to hospital with that one because it just would not stop.

Maybe one for the disproportionately cross thread but anyway..

Was out mountain biking with 2 friends.. Yes I have a mountain bike! Who knew?

Anyway… One of them had an OTB and hashed his shin.

Unbeknownst to us he was on blood thinners and he was bleading pretty good… Not a huge amount but it wasn’t clotting or stopping!

So I pulled out my primative first aid kit which consisted of a few dental gauzes /bandages, some electrical insulation tape and salt water, strapped him up good enough to stop him bleeding everywhere and get back.

My other mate then lambasted me for having such a rudimentary first aid kit.. Which I found quite incredulous as I pointed out to him, I was the only one of three of us that had any sort of first aid kit at all!

He shut up after that and didn’t say much on the ride back!

They turn up, see the arm in its sling and promptly try and pick him up by his ‘good’ arm, you know, the one he’s just completely knackered. Boy did he howl before we managed to stop them.

Reminds me of my first, formative alpine season aged 19.  Much rockfall, much global warming etc resulted in casualty with two broken ribs and a broken pelvis.  We managed to get out and phone a rescue helicopter, who lowered him a rope, clipped into his climbing harness and hauled him up.

Apparently he screamed, a lot.

There was a really unpopular king, might have been Edward the Conqueror

William I (the Conqueror).

As you were….

😀 Where in the hell did I get Edward from? ROFLcopters.

This many posts and not a single sharting story?

This many posts and not a single sharting story?

Came here to await the shart or fart stories. Am disappointed.

I’m not disappointed in WCA’s misfortune leading to proper out loud laughs here. Sorry WCA.

WorldClassAccident
Free Member
I get big pads of hard skin on my right foot because the knackered ankle makes me walk funny. I paid a chiropodist to ‘treat it’ and they simply used a sharp scalpel to cut the bulk of it off and they filed the remainder. I have been using my own scalpel, cleaned in alcohol first, to do it every since.

have found the sanding action with a multi-tool is very effective![/]

I found the little wheels are too small a radius so I ended up with bumps and dips, perhaps I should have tried something finer than 80 grit but they are also harder to sterilise and MrsWCA is more likely to walk in to ask what the noise is, see what I am doing and hit me for being a dick

I found the little wheels are too small a radius so I ended up with bumps and dips

When in doubt, grab the belt sander.

I took a tumble on a wet grassy descent on The Brecon Beast. I smacked my lft shin SO hard on the top tube and weeks later still had an egg there. A sterile scalpel blade dealt with that. Loads of runniness dribbled down my leg that evening.

A friend tried to relocate a shoulder, not his own. My how she made a noise. Top tip, don’t take beginners kayaking on grade 4 water.

In about 1986 a friend and I were walking back from playing football at a park when we decided to have a splinter race. Rules were simple – run along with your hand on the wooden fence. First one to get a splinter wins.

We both won within about 2 metres of starting.

I got two big bastards crammed deep into my palm and they stayed in there for ages.

Nearly 40 years later I still have the stigmata.

We both won within about 2 metres of starting.

Lost. You both lost within about 2 meters of starting. That’s got to be one of the most stupid competive sports I ever heard suggested. 😀

about 2 meters of starting

There were no meters involved 🙂

…I almost miss popping high pressure ones I has as a teen..

Ah, the ones that splash the mirror.

Came here to await the shart or fart stories. Am disappointed.

A mate tells tale of a bloke he used to work with by the name of Chester. Chester did the most voluminous farts. Every so often he’d drop his guts and then announce “oops, better go and check that one!” and run off to the bogs with the spare pair of boxers he carried for such an eventuality.

Plot twist: Chester worked as head chef in a posh hotel. My mate has a number of tales from his time as a chef, most of them would make you never want to eat food again.