So it turns out that this news really bothered me a lot more than it should have. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I’ve bumped into Jez a few times but I couldn’t call him a mate and I didn’t ‘know’ him.
It did prompt me to make a doctors appointment to talk about my own mental health. I wasn’t sure what would happen next but I’ve just been on the phone for half an hour with my GP answering a lot of really awkward questions and saying a lot of stuff out loud for the first time ever.
Now I’ve got a list of recommended actions and a follow up appointment for next month.
Every year I wish I’d done something or spoken to someone and I never have. I’ve always just tried to ride it out but it doesn’t get any easier. Just like Jez I really struggle a lot in the winter when it’s cold and dark and the past couple of months have been rough.
I’m only 20 years late making the first move but if I can do anything to level out my mood and stop the lows from being so bloody low it’ll be a good start.