Ridiculous Tabloid Headlines

There are quite a few, daily even, but what’s your favourite ridiculous tabloid headline?

This one takes quite some beating from the Daily Star (need I say more).

It’s actually very tasteless considering the tragedy unfolding in the Phillipeanes.

I have a feeling we can quote tabloids day by day actually, because there’s always one trying to outdo another in terms of stupidity!

“Suicidal twin kills brother by mistake”

During the Monica Lewinski affair my local paper ran the headline “Clinton Accused of Shirtlifting” – a story about a Mr Bill Clinton of Pollokshields being tried for stealing two shirts and a jacket from a charity shop.

One from WW2…

‘MacArthur flies back to front’

Freddie Star ate my hamster!

Super Cali go ballistic,
Celtic are atrocious.

that last one’s not ridiculous, it’s genius. I imagine the sub who thought it up immediately leaving his desk to go to the pub for the day: “my work here is done”…

Best one I saw which pretty much sums up the publication in question:

Packs Of Feral Youths Roam Britains Streets

So much hate, fear and loathing in just a few words.

2 from the early days of the Sunday Sport:

Woman gives birth to 7lb trout.

Hitler’s bus found on moon..

Both are works of unfettered genius, incredibly, with substantiating photos on the front page.

^ reminds me of when I was in Merka – a paper like the Inquirer but not had ‘Heaven Photographed by Hubble Space Telescope’ complete with photo of ‘The Universe’, a circle drawn round it with the caption ‘Edge of Universe’ then some smudgy clouds + sun thing going on labelled ‘Heaven’

Will have to try and dig it out…

Unfortunately an urban myth but the often quoted Eastern Daily Press headline “Norfolk Man Dies At Sea” the day after the titanic sunk.

McQueen Found Hanged In Wardrobe
Can Dec Anally Match Ant
Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix

I saw ‘Maddie snatcher killed by tractor’ the other day.

Not a tabloid but the north Devon journal had a headline of

Man tried to set fire to a packet of peanuts and make love to an ambulance.

Super Cali go ballistic,
Celtic are atrocious.

😆

alexpalacefan – Member

Super Cali go ballistic,
Celtic are atrocious.

Super Caley – from a pedantic Celtic Fan trying to claim something back…

Still go a copy of the rag that printed it in the loft and from memory it was
Supercallywentbalisticceltswerequiteatrocious.

No that’s not the right thread

“Headless body in topless bar” Published in the New York Post in 1983 to head a story about a headless corpse found in a strip club. Sheer. Genius.

GOTCHA ….
Which turned out to be one Kelvin Mackenzie’s lowest moments

Which turned out to be one Kelvin Mackenzie’s lowest moments

A zero on the Kelvin scale! Thats like trying to describe the fundamental particles evil.

Journalists eh, love them or loath them you’d be mad not to bury them upright, condemning their souls to be restless for all eternity.

While we’re on the subject, “The Truth”

We could have a whole separate thread about Kelvin Mackenzie and The Sun and the various lies they printed but I couldn’t stomach it at this time of the morning.

Not a tabloid per se, but The Argus often has very funny headlines. They had one this year that was “BEARDED WOMAN ATTACKED AT CRUCIFIXION”.

Man falls 10000ft from aeroplane…
and dies.
Think that was the national enquirer.

I’m sure The Sun, bemoaning educational standards after another survey showing the UK’s children were falling down the European league table, ran a headline “We’re thicker than the Irish!” 😆

‘Who’s a silly Berti’ when Berti Vogts was about to lose his job as Scotland manager.

“Devil Drug Monkey!” From the Sun… 🙂

Couple of classics from the Sport:
‘Shoots You’ when Gianni Versace was, erm ,shot.
‘I’ve Been Stabbed I say, I’ve Been Stabbed!’ when the actor who played Fred Elliot in Corrie was assaulted..
And there’s always ‘World Hide and Seek Champ Found Dead in Cupboard’

Local rag –
Berserk Kirkcaldy Man Kills Budgie

Not a tabloid one but I love the one about when Michael Foot was appointed to chair an EC committee looking at nuclear disarmament.
Foot Heads Arms Body

Foot Heads Arms Body

😆

Mum’s Snatch Hell on the front page of The Chronicle, Monday Nov 11th.

Puddle Splash Victim Vows Revenge, poster for the Mercury in Somerset.

Woman In Sumo Wrestler Suit Assulted Her Ex-Girlfriend In Gay Pub After She Waved At Man Dressed As Snickers Bar. Not sure what paper this comes from.

A mate of mine is a journo and his facebook is full of pictures of this kind of crap.

Michael J Fox Shakes Off The Comedy Dust.

bruneep, that’s the thread winner for me!

From the sun in 2009, with a picture of two fat women’s legs:
Fatties cause global warming