What he actually said:
So that's the end of the UK leg of the tour. Back to America next to do more dates and record my second HBO special.
Hammersmith was great. It's easily the best live show I've ever recorded. (I know, I know, you'll be the judge of that.)
Had a drink after the show with Chris Martin and Prince Harry. As you do.
Harry was trying to persuade me to come to Afghanistan to perform to the troops. I said I was too scared. He said I could do Basra which was the safest place. Yeh, the safest place out of all the other places in a war zone. I pointed out that when I walk round Hampstead, I make sure I don't accidentally wander into Belsize Park by mistake.
I take risks with my comedy, not my vital organs.
I said I'd think about it.
On the day of the gig he wound me up by sending me a text saying that he was bringing his gran. I was obviously a bit panicked. She would definitely not have enjoyed the show.
At the after-show he got me to sign a beer mat for her. "To Liz II, Cheers! Ricky Gervais" (true)
I will be checking ebay all week in case she is making money off me. I can't help but think that her signing a beer mat to me would be worth slightly more.