"Bored people are boring"

If your gonna have one have a big'un

:-O

he used to say 'never mind every dog has it's day'

Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song

My old da used to say.( i was about 6 at the time)

Stop making that stupid face, if the wind changes it will stay like that.
Needless to say i never done it on windy days. More to the point i never understood what he meant to this day 33 years later.

On the issue of whether to have another drink:
"It's better to have her and not want her, than to want her not have her"

On (me) blowing the weekly wage on one big night out:
"King for the night, c_nt for a week."

"If you keep doing that you'll go blind."

"shut up or you'll get a smack"

worked a treat

How come aunties always know so much about anal sex? Every Christmas she would say "Better to give than receive".

When someone talks a load of bull – like consultants

All fart and no shit!!

Quotes from my parent's I'll never forget?

"I should have put you in a home." has lingered somewhat.

From my Grandad:
"the best way to keep your tool clean, is to use it"

We were in the garden at the time, so it was apt. But as advice given to a 15yr old lad just getting aquainted with the opposite sex it took on a whole different meaning.

Mum: "If you break both your legs – don't come running to me!"

when the ice cream van plays music thats to tell you theyve sold out
mean bastards

when the ice cream van plays music thats to tell you theyve sold out

Mine was similar – they only come round in colder weather to collect money for charity.

"your mouth will get you into trouble"

My Mum:

About a girlfriend ages back:
Every time I see those cows, I think of <girlfriend>.

About my now wife:
She [wife] always looks healthy, like a second world war land girl or a member of the Hitler Youth.

Joe

"We still love you, we just don't love each other" 😀

Oh

😥

From my mum when I was in my early 20's

"If you can't be good, be good at it"

Probably will only pass that on when our little one is also in her early 20's

They don't put pockets in shrouds

"Your nothing but a f*cking whore" was my personal favourite….

"hold you hard"
Roughly translated means to think before you act. So so true.

A friend of mine bought his kids ice creams but poured salt on them so they wouldnt ask again…horrible man.

this thread is loosing its humour i feel! 😯

"stop crying or ill give you something to cry about" wasnt a great/logical one from my mum

my granny used the word bugger in relashion to loads of innocent stuff ie funny bugger, you silly bugger, cheeky bugger, oh bugger ive missed the busetc etc. i grew up thinking it was atotally innocent word to use all the time…till i found out i also refered to another thing…

my mates dad would say "queer bird the fish". very random one that but it can really be applied to any situation when lost for words.. 😆

Another one from my dad…

My brother was teasing him saying he wouldn't dare throw a bucket of dirty car washing water over him. So, without a moment's hesitation, he drenched him in it then said…

'Never dare a fool…'

🙂

"Don't hang around with him too much, he's a bad influence"

"He's one of those people who's not afraid of dying"

The first quote was my dad and the second quote my mum. Both said about me to one of my best mates when he drove me home with 4 teeth missing, numerous cracked ribs and 2 broken bones in my right hand after crashing at a BMX race. Luckily he didn't take their advice and I was one of his best men at his wedding 5 years ago.

"Sometimes it's easier to say 'sorry' than to ask for permission"

or anothere one of his

" there is no such thing as strangers, they are people you are yet to upset and annoy"

funny thing is he was a bank manager

He did put a big hole in my life the day he died 😥

He did put a big hole in my life the day he died

Agreed – I miss my dad like mad every day and wish he was here to see our twins 🙁

This thread has taken a sad turn, but it makes me realise how lucky I am that my parents are both still with me and that they were nice to me when I was growing up.

Think I'll ring them tonight.

Do it please

My dad : You've got two ears and one mouth, therefore you should listen twice as much as what you speak.

Mates Mum before we departed for nights out when we were 18: Hope you've got your little hats for your little fellas!

Other Half's dad has some crackin' ones: Don't p1ss down my back and tell me its raining! (when some one is trying to pull the wool over his eyes) 😆

At 13 I had just woke up in hospital with seven stiches in each bollock having had one twist 360, whe my mum had a quiet word in my ear. "Thats what happens when you play with it" she said. I was traumatised for about two years 😯

I was traumatised for about two years

Indeed going by your username it would appear that you are still 'traumatised'

……….. time to let go I reckon.

seven stiches in each bollock having had one twist 360

Well I'm not sure what you were trying to do, but I'm fairly sure you were doing it wrong!

A variation on the “hung for a sheep” one that my mum used to say was “If your going to get hung for a sheep you might as well sh*g it”.

Another favourite is “you can only p1ss with the c0ck you’ve got”

Not one of my parents, but I do like it

You can't polish a turd

"don't watch your mother eating a banana…"

"a wise man pi55e5 when he can – a fool pi55e5 when he needs to"

It wont hurt when the pain goes away

This thread has taken a sad turn, but it makes me realise how lucky I am that my parents are both still with me and that they were nice to me when I was growing up.

Think I'll ring them tonight.

Snap, I'm going home at the weekend – I'll try to do something fun with them.

Not one of my parents but seems to be very good advice

Don’t do anything you are not prepared to explain to a paramedic.