Viewing 40 posts - 81 through 120 (of 136 total)
  • Quotes from your parents that you never forget
  • clareymorris
    Full Member

    My Gran when I offered her a drink of water once……..

    "Och no, I only drink water with Whisky in it"!

    RichPenny
    Free Member

    "Yummles", used by my mum to describe every alcoholic drink placed in front of her. Apart from the positively hallucinogenic absinthe I procured for her 50th. Sorry mum 🙂

    See also "Is that my beer?" No mum, the one with the least in it is ALWAYS yours…

    snowslave
    Full Member

    My dad says if he sees someone scruffy that "they look like the wreck of the hesparus"

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middling Edition

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middlin...
    Latest Singletrack Videos
    RepacK
    Free Member

    "A verbal agreement isnt worth the paper its written on"

    Moses
    Full Member

    of the student house I lived in,
    "It's like a shithouse struck by lightning"

    twang
    Free Member

    My Ma; "Always roll your clothes"….. not very profound but practical when packing a suitcase.

    thefettler
    Free Member

    Find a job that you love?

    and you will never work a day in your life.

    Has stood me in good steed

    bjj.andy.w
    Free Member

    A couple of quotes from my old man (god rest his soul,he would of been a brilliant grandad for my son :cry:)
    Take a coat when it's fine,please tha'self when it's raining.
    And this one has stood me well upto now:
    "Two of the most important things in life are respect and manners.Have both of them and you'll do alright."

    JacksonPollock
    Free Member

    Was having an argument with my mum when I was in my late teens and my Grandad (mums dad)was present. He just quietly said to me "walk away lad, she can't argue with herself"

    Mum then turned on him. Without saying a word he turned on his heels and walked away.(he went out for half an hour). Mum was purple with rage!

    I love his wisdom. He is more of a man than I will ever be.

    sv
    Full Member

    My Dads: It takes time – pause – and money.

    Haven't really been in contact with him as much as I should have recently, think I will give him a ring.

    Dylan08
    Free Member

    "Never take the Brown Acid Son…" 😉

    alwyn
    Free Member

    Not mine but a mate’s dad, it still cracks me up:

    Dad: "I love the taste of woman"
    Mate: "Dad, That's disgusting"
    Dad: "That son is because you're licking the wrong hole"

    hora
    Free Member

    "Och no, I only drink water with Whisky in it"!

    I want your Gran to be mine 🙂

    I tell you one thing, if anyone offers me a Quaich again I swear I will run out crying/screaming.

    stratobiker
    Free Member

    "if it has got either t!ts or wheels it will be trouble and cost you a fortune"

    …..

    That's the winner for me!!!

    SB 🙂

    bruk
    Full Member

    Said when going out as a teenager

    Be good, if you can't be good be careful, if you can't be careful don't come home!

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    As an only male child, my Dad told me that no girl I ever brought home would be good enough for my mother. So I stopped worrying about it.

    MrsSwadey still has concerns mind….

    el_boufador
    Full Member

    Join the RAF as an officer (reasoning: you will be respected)
    Become an accountant (reasoning: they have all the power)
    Nobody is trustworthy (reasoning: he is a grumpy bloody sod)

    My dad is full of advice. Most of it bad. I love the daft old bugger anyway.

    hora
    Free Member

    I love mintsauce. Especially the walking the gangplank/Pirate one. Sooo true.

    bjj.andy.w
    Free Member

    A mate of mine made a right balls up of some d.i.y on his home.On looking at it his dad said shaking his head:
    Some times son i just wished i'd had a w@nk instead.

    corroded
    Free Member

    "Now it's playing silly buggers." Said by Dad whenever something (usually mechanical) is messing him around. As someone who can strip an engine, wire a house and sail by the stars he must look on me and despair!

    marsdenman
    Free Member

    Be good, if you can't be good be careful, if you can't be careful don't come home!

    +1

    however, put me in mind of my all time favourite….

    'so, what's her name?'

    as uttered by my dad on the odd Sunday morning in my early twenties 'purple patch' – he'd taken to spending most of the week at his girlfriends, coming home Sunday morning to check me and my brother had not trashed the house…. if I came down stairs as he came through the door he knew i erm… had company

    boobs
    Full Member

    "You can bring home whoever you like, just make sure she's gone by the morning" nice one Dad.

    Along with, in a similar vein "you can do whatever you like, but if you get caught you will take the punishment." That one actually worked pretty well too.

    From me "my arm hurts if I do this"
    from Mum "don't do it then"

    Another one from my Dad " ****!" quite alot.

    My parents were great, say hello to them if you are at the bottom of Leith Hill as I'm sure they have now washed down from where I put them.

    "Their ashes obviously"

    stAn-BadBrainsMBC
    Free Member

    spent a lot of time with my old fella when i was young un hanging round at rugby clubs so heard plenty but my favourite was when reffering to a particular chilly day – ' colder than a witches tit'

    and not a quote but a practice – daft old bugger used to shove a wad of Vics vapour jelly up each nostril before comencing any sporting activity – 'get half a yard o' vic up each nostril, that'll wake yer up and get you going' try it.

    shooterman
    Full Member

    Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.

    The trouble with acting like a c**t is that sooner or later everyone starts treating you like one.

    Look after your character and your reputation will look after itself.

    Don't join any f**kin army, not even the salvation army.

    samuri
    Free Member

    I can't remember any sayings my mum or dad gave me. My Grandad had quite a few as did my father in law.

    My father in law's favourite was 'only dirty people need to wash'. He didn't wash and as a result stank to high heaven.

    singlespeeddan
    Free Member

    Stay away from slow horses and fast women.

    ononeorange
    Full Member

    Take a look at her mother first

    and

    You can't beat the brewer

    Gee-Jay
    Free Member

    Some of these are brilliant – someone should document them

    BigJohn
    Full Member

    When hearing the phrase "he broke his leg in two places" he always says "he shouldn't have gone to those two places then"

    saladdodger
    Free Member

    "when in the bottom of a hole stop digging"

    "if you are not in bed by midnight come home"

    so needless to say I did not, next day I got home about mid day and was I ever in the crap off both the old girl and me Pa so my get out excuse was what me Pa told me

    Needless to say he made a excuse to go to the garage and said on the way past "get out of this one smart arse" with a smile. To say my ma got a bit er passionate is a understatement

    TooTall
    Free Member

    When my mum's side of the family were being a bit crazy, the way only family can be, my dad said:

    'Think of this, son. I'm only related to them by marriage – you're related by blood'

    He laughed – I didn't.

    LoulaBella
    Free Member

    Some of my Mums classics. For some reason coat related.
    'All fur coat and no knickers' (commenting on my attire before a night out)
    'I bet he was all over you like cheap coat'
    Sex and relationship advice…
    Mum'Make sure you've got a diamond on your finger before you lay your coat on the ground'
    Me 'Wouldnt a condom be more useful?'

    Trimix
    Free Member

    Sex education from my dad was brief and to the point:

    "Its the second hole from the back of the neck"

    ForkingOurSouls
    Free Member

    My grandfather, a wise old sage…

    "Buy the best bed and the best pair of shoes you can afford, because if you're not in one, you'll be in t'other."

    and

    "Always ask the prettiest girl in the room to dance, because no-one else will."

    Both have stood me in good stead, particularly the second one. Cheers Gramps.

    ex-pat
    Free Member

    On my complaining that I was shovelling sh1t (Before getting a career), working on the farm – he was no helping:
    "Don't have a dog and bark yourself"

    On my proclaiming that I was the most important person at work (basically):
    "The Graveyard is full of indispensable people"

    My Gran when I was a teenager and getting very drunk (often) and getting a lot of stick from the family:
    "When I get drunk, I hold onto the side of the bed so when the room spins I don't fall out" – twas ace, someone admitting that I wasn't the only person to ever get drunk.

    My Step brother on (litteraly) rough GF's:
    "you don't look at the mantle peice when you're poking the fire"

    Me – As a Dad…
    "You're nothing more than the sum of your experiences"

    davidpurvis
    Free Member

    "Every room has and ar$ehole in it. If you can't spot him, it's you"

    adlyhobart
    Free Member

    better to be quiet and considered a fool
    than to opens ones mouth and confirm it!

    adlyhobart
    Free Member

    favourite dorothy parker quote who i wish was my auntie!

    you can take a whore to culture, but you cant make her think!

    play on words i am sure you get it.

    timber
    Full Member

    old fella I used to work with gave some real good advice

    "never piss into the wind"

    radoggair
    Free Member

    ah, the parents.

    My dads words of wisdom during my single years

    ' always remember the 4 f's son. Find em, feel em, fu*k em and forget em'.

    Also to do with jobs and life.
    ' dont pi55 on people on the way up because you might meet them on the way back down again'

    My mums just as good.
    ' god says we have to love our children, doesn't mean we have to like them though'

Viewing 40 posts - 81 through 120 (of 136 total)

The topic ‘Quotes from your parents that you never forget’ is closed to new replies.