[Closed] Poorest films you've seen?

Wings of the Apache. Nicholas Cage in a Top Gun in helicopters action flick. Only film that's ever caused me to walk out of the cinema.

Grand Budapest Hotel - visually quite nice but otherwise tv movie drivel.

The Gray with Liam Nielson.
A plane crash in snow plus hungry wolves picking off the survivors one by one. Bloody awful.

Gangs of New York or anything with Nicholas Cage in it .

Warhorse.

There are plenty of worse films out there but I can't think of another that was a waste of so much talent and money then this piece of sentimental drivel.

Starting watching "Forbidden Ground" on Netflix the other night.

Lasted about 10 minutes before I switched it off. Call me a geek but the widely inaccurate way WW1 was portrayed just killed it.

Adrenaline Fear the Rush.

Rented it from blockbuster about 15 years ago. Watched about half an hour before turning it off. I still haven't recovered...

Back shortly after Channel 4 started, they did a series of the worst movies ever. A 4th channel was such a novelty that we watched most of them.

[url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Worst_of_Hollywood ]List of movies included[/url]

Open Water. Quite possibly the worst film I've ever seen, it's only redeeming feature is a few seconds of gratuitous boobage at the start of the movie.

Probably going against the grain here, but after not seeing it at the cinema, we watched Gravity on DVD at home, the story is really lame and whilst I believe it is fiction, it was so far beyond belief and just seemed an excuse to show Sandra Bullock in her skimpies (which i can appreciate!), I could see that at cinema and in 3D it would be a technical marvel, but take away the gizmos it was a bit rubbish.

Solaris

navel gazing tosh

Cougar - Gratuitous Boobage, would be a great band name?

You can't have watched many films, scud*. "Bit rubbish" doesn't really make the "poorest ever" list for me.
Number 1 in that list is:

Highlander.

*either that or a short memory!

Vertical Limit

Buckaroo Banzia across the 8th dimension, or summink.
Awful shyte.

[i]Vertical Limit [/i]
Oh yeah, I'd forgotten that one. Was forced to watch that on a flight.
More awful shyte.
🙁

Blair witch

OK Dez B, film i hated and again everyone else seems to love was Zoolander!

Doesn't Highlander come under the so bad, it's good category??

Jesus, so many!

I used to actually collect appallingly bad films, so the list would be pretty long, but I would say that the current holder of "The Shittest" would be the latest re-make of The Punisher. Twice now I have paid my own, hard earned cash to rent it and twice I have failed to watch the whole film because it's been so bad.

Even Expendables 2, which was the cheesiest action film I've seen in nearly a decade was not that bad in comparison.

Sharknado. Watched the whole of that, so can safely say, it's the worst.

Come on, highlander is an 80s classic! how can you not appreciated and scotsman with a french accent and a spaniard with a scottish accent.

Gigli with Ben affleck and some bird.

Rented it one evening while in Fernie on a ski trip (someone else chose it). Awful, turned it off after about 20 minutes. Took it back the following evening having had a bit of apres-ski and the shop owner tried to charge me for a late return. When I told him I was considering charging him for renting me such utter tosh he grinned and said I wasn't the first to mention how bad it was, and let me off the late charge.

[i]Open Water[/i]

I really liked it. But I'm the only person I've ever met who did.

I'll go with The Dark Knight. Awful, dull, pompous (sp?) drivel.

And Tomb Raider. Wow, that was bad.

Sharknado. Watched the whole of that, so can safely say, it's the worst.

I rather enjoy a good rubbish B movie but even I couldn't watch the whole of Sharknado...

[i]Come on, highlander is an 80s classic! how can you not appreciated and scotsman with a french accent and a spaniard with a scottish accent[/i]

I can only remember it being the only film that's made me walk out of the cinema (before the end!). So it has to be one of the worst. There are others I've started watching on TV and turned off, but they aren't so memorable.

[i]I rather enjoy a good rubbish B movie but even I couldn't watch the whole of Sharknado..[/i]

It was with my 11 year old, he wouldn't let me leave 🙂

Alexander - I've tried to watch it 3 times always switch it off.

[url= http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093407/?ref_=nv_sr_1 ]Less Than Zero[/url] is a bad film. Not much like the book, and just really badly made in places. There is a party scene where everyone is talking loudly, but there is no music. They go to the bathroom and you can hear a muffled Public Enemy blasting through from the party. They go back in to the party and speak loudly over nothing.

[url= https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Box_(2009_film) ]The Box[/url] has an interesting idea to start with and seems to be going somewhere. Would you press a button in the box for $1,000,000 but a stranger dies? Then is goes bat shit crazy - It involves NASA, the NSA, floating cubes of water, a wedding, kidnap, aliens, Sophie's choice, possible extermination of the human race. And finishes like this -

Steward offers Arthur and Norma a final choice: Walter is now deaf and blind. Either they live on with a disabled son, or Arthur can shoot Norma through the heart, at which point Walter's sight and hearing will be restored. Norma begs Arthur to shoot her. Elsewhere, a woman pushes the button on her box and Arthur shoots Norma, killing her. As Arthur is taken away by police, Steward leaves the other couple's house with the box. Walter is shown through an upstairs window in the home with his grandfather. The final scene shows Steward standing in the snow by his car, parked in a street, with the box.

The tree of life.

A rental watch, turned off after 20mins.

Some films don't worked for you when you first see them but do later in life. Naked Lunch was rubbish when I watched it in the early 90's as a youngun but quite good watching it last year. It took me 3 attempts and 8 years before I appreciated Fight Club.

I may well get flamed for this but Withnail and I is the worst film I've ever seen.

I just don't understand the hype around it and why some many people thinks int's such an amazing film.

And yes, as a former art student I'm sure it should appeal but I just don't get it.

seosamh77 - Member

Come on, highlander is an 80s classic! how can you not appreciated and scotsman with a french accent and a spaniard with a scottish accent.

Ramirez is Egyptian, which obviously explains the accent.

Insomnia
Blackball
Farcry

Less Than Zero is a bad film.

DezB - Member
Come on, highlander is an 80s classic! how can you not appreciated and scotsman with a french accent and a spaniard with a scottish accent

I can only remember it being the only film that's made me walk out of the cinema (before the end!). So it has to be one of the worst. There are others I've started watching on TV and turned off, but they aren't so memorable.

Northwind - Member

Ramirez is Egyptian, which obviously explains the accent.

[url= http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1948521/ ]Attack of the Herbals[/url], and the most recent Rambo movie. The former was low budget and utter garbage, the latter had no excuses for its terrible script, characterisation and gratuitous violence. I'm not normally one to say there's too much carnage in a film, but that was just awful.

There are probably loads more, but I tend to have fairly low standards in what I'll actually watch yet these two stick out in my mind as truly terrible.

The long kiss goodnight, I nearly walked out of the cinema but stayed to see if it got any better, it didn't!

And face off or anything else with Nicholas Cage in it!!

Alvin and the Chipmunks 2- The Squeakquel

A tour de Force it blummin wasn't!

Oh, and almost anything with Steven Seagal in it, barring the obviously brilliant Under Siege.

[i]I may well get flamed for this but Withnail and I is the worst film I've ever seen.

I just don't understand the hype around it and why some many people thinks int's such an amazing film.

And yes, as a former art student I'm sure it should appeal but I just don't get it. [/i]

Amen brother. Absolute gash of a film.

Seven, I walked out of the cinema.

any film i've watched by lars von trier 😡

don't know what it is about his films,but i just cannot stand the pomposity/self indulgent toss that he seems to produce.

Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium maybe it was Magic rather than Wonder in the UK. Large family trip to cineplex, lowest common denominator of the films that no one had seen for the age range present. No redeeming features. This was a full price event, including popcorn, not just a video rental you could shrug off.

After suffering of approximately 20 minutes of the Hell Ride (resulting in permanent and irreparable lowering of my IQ) I have made it my life's mission to ensure this film gets mentioned any time I stumble upon a forum thread anywhere on the Web, asking for the worst films ever.

The trailer below contains more cheese than average Swiss village:

Well, in the highest, time honoured, traditions of the STW forum. I have failed to read every post and still declare myself the winner for not only selecting a very poor film (buckaroo Banzai across the 8th dimension) but also the most obscure.

[img] [/img]

Thank you all so much, I really don't deserve this award, however. I'd like to thank.......

You shouldn't be surprised that a Fast and Furious film is bad, but I was a bit surprised that Fast 5 doesn't have anything good about it whatsoever. Apart from the Rock obviously, nothing with the Rock in it can be totally bad.

Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. Utter, utter drivel. Remains to this day the only film I've ever fallen asleep during in the cinema. Was dragged to see it by the then girlfriend and her sister.

Ramsey Neil - Member

anything with Nicholas Cage in it.

Very much in agreement.

eltonorino, saw the box last night, can't believe I stayed up so late for such utter pish.

Predator vs Aliens & the sequel Requiem. both utter pish!

George Clooney's Batman, tried to hard to be 60's kitsch a la Adam West and failed miserably.

Almost every film with Will Ferrel in. (I can watch Megamind though).

Many many fine examples mentioned. I'll add another from Nicholas Cage - Snake Eyes. Snake Shit more like.

[quote=Storer76 pointlessly vacillated]Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. Utter, utter drivel. Remains to this day the only film I've ever fallen asleep during in the cinema. Was dragged to see it by the then girlfriend and her sister.

oooh that reminds me - controversy coming here

Natural Born Killers. Having very much enjoyed both reservoir dogs and pulp fiction, when I saw a "less than legitimate" copy on VHS at a local flea market some weeks before the scheduled UK cinema release, I acquired a copy. It was GASH. The story wasn't great and the quality was rubbish, the film seemed to be shot through a purple filter or something. Some months later while at the cinema to see a midnight showing, we found our chosen film was full so I reluctantly agreed to go into NBK on the basis that the dodgy pirate copy I'd seen had adversely affected my opinion and the cinema quality would make it better

it didn;t. The film was shot through a purple filter. I went to sleep. I'd have gone home if I hadn;t needed a lift home

sbob - Member
Ramsey Neil - Member
anything with Nicholas Cage in it.

Very much in agreement.

Solaris

navel gazing tosh

anything with Nicholas Cage in it.

Almost every film with Will Ferrel in

Lets add, every Adam Sandler movie to the list.

alanf - Member
Blair witch

+1

I'd also add most of Quentin Tarantino's [s]pretentious drivel[/s] work, but that's probably more of a personal taste thing rather than a lack of quality.

The "winner" though has to be Showgirls: despite watching it drunk, with the promise of much [i]gratuitous boobage[/i], my mate and I walked out of the cinema.

Almost every film with Will Ferrel in.

Shoot 'em up was worse tho, switched that off even quicker than talladega.

anything with Nicholas Cage in it.

Abso-bloomin-lutely! He provides a valuable public service by flagging up, with his horse-faced presence, films that will be absolutely bloody awful!

Worst film I've seen for a good while? Angelina Jolie being an action hero? Sounds like a winner. The English language doesn't have the words to fully express how toe-curlingly awful it is! Its laughably atrocious for about 15 minutes, then you have to turn it off

[img] [/img]

Battleships is easily the worst film I've ever had to have the misfortune to lose time watching.

Otherwise Jilly Cooper's Riders (film for TV: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095401/) was easily the worst film I've ever watched with regard to direction, plot, continuity and all those other things that make a film work as a film, but I actually really enjoyed it (probably because it had myself and the rest of the family in post-Chrismtmas dinner hysterics. Tears, absolute floods of them.)

Bring it on, so bad I'd have walked out if it had been an in flight movie. I never let Mrs hoppy choose what we went to see after that.

[i]Battleships is easily the worst film I've ever had to have the misfortune to lose time watching.[/i]

Someone made a film about an electronic table game for kids, from the 70s ?

IHN - are you not coming to realise something here yet? The one film loads of people absolutely love, and revere as genius, you can't stand. And the one that you really like, everyone pretty universally condemns as utter gash (it is BTW!)

And you also like Coldplay?

😆

I can understand how Highlander divides opinion but I'm pretty confident there will be unanimity about Highlander 2. Don't be tempted to watch any of it just to see how bad it is.

thepurist - Member
I can understand how Highlander divides opinion but I'm pretty confident there will be unanimity about Highlander 2. Don't be tempted to watch any of it just to see how bad it is.

Oh yeah seem to remember sliding doors being bad, mind you I was hammered when my GF dragged me to watch it and I took the piss out of it - so I had a fun couple of hours, it's the other occupants of the cinema I feel sorry for, having to put up with that god awful film [i]and[/i] some pissed up arsehole heckling throughout.

I quite liked Pi

theres a slightly better directors cut of highlander 2, its still silly though

The tree of life.

This is the only film where I've ever left the cinema before it finished. Utter tosh.

I use the Guardian film guide on a Friday as a reverse scale. Any film that gets 5 stars is usually a sure sign you need to steer well clear of it, as it'll be some pretentious toss, probably with subtitles, invariably in black and white, which will have no defined beginning or end. Or story. And will be 2 hours of your life you'll never get back.

If they slate it as brainless, stupid and crass, it'll have exploding helicopters and stuff, and probably be ace 😀

I have another to add, 47 Ronin, I just read the book about a month ago and thought cool, this should be cracking, the book was excellent. How wrong was I, turned off after 15 minutes, Keanu Reeves should be deleted from every movie database on the interwebz!

Recently, (relative to hype) The Lego Movie. Just not very entertaining, predictable, and unfunny.

Guy at my old place raved about Superbad - "you must watch it, it's brilliant, it's SOOOOOOO funny!". Credits and five minutes, had to turn it off. No redeeming features.

Had the same thing with Anchorman.

Bonfire of the vanities - based on a poor novel , the premise of which was the arrogance and awfulness of the main character- so they cast cuddly old Tom Hanks as him , making him instantly likeable and the film with nowhere to go for the next two miserable hours

Barbwire FTW!

Coyote Ugly
The Postman - in fact, any film with Kevin Costner in it

The Box (on Film 4 last night) is the worst film I've seen in a while.

mr potatohead - Member
Bonfire of the vanities - based on a poor novel , the premise of which was the arrogance and awfulness of the main character- so they cast cuddly old Tom Hanks as him , making him instantly likeable and the film with nowhere to go for the next two miserable hours

I've never watched the film, as I looked at the casting and wondered if someone was having a laugh. They also took the character of an Oxford Educated English journalist and cast…. Bruce Willis 😯

shite I'd forgotten Willis was in it , must have bleached it from my mind he was so bad .

But while we're at it Willis as th anti-hero in the virtually unfilmable novel by Kurt Vonnegut , vanity project gone badly awry

[i]IHN - are you not coming to realise something here yet? The one film loads of people absolutely love, and revere as genius, you can't stand. And the one that you really like, everyone pretty universally condemns as utter gash (it is BTW!)

[/i]

It's not something I'm coming to realise, its something I've known for a long time; I'm right and everyone else is wrong 🙂

What is this supposed genius of W&I though? The unfunny gags? How cheap it looks? How boring it is? How unlikeable the characters are?
It's a film that people first see in 6th form and think they're dead clever for liking it because it's all do do with booze and drugs and (pathetically) rebelling against 'the system' and they can quote the lines from it to each other in the Student Union bar. It is very probably Viz's Student Grant's favourite film. If anyone, like I did, sees it for the first time over the age of 25 they'll realise that it's drivel.

Anything by Terence Malick is utter shite. I'm a reasonably well educated chap and most film hacks and academic type people fawn over anything he has done. As far as I can see its utter utter pretentious guff. I'm obviously not as smart as I thought I was.. 😐

Zardoz by John Boorman; absolute baloney, Sean Connery must regret that one. Mind you it did start a lifelong fantasy about Charlotte Rampling so it can't have been that bad.

muppetWrangler - Member

Wings of the Apache. Nicholas Cage in a Top Gun in helicopters action flick. Only film that's ever caused me to walk out of the cinema.

A definite contender. Makes Top Gun look like a particularly sober documentary.

Roman Polanski's 'The Ghost' is the closest I've come to leaving a cinema. It stars Ewan McGregor as a biographer drafted in to ghost-write the autobiography of a warmongering former British prime minister (Pierce Brosnan, I could probably stop right there) who bears a ridiculously overplayed similarity to Tony Blair.

Kim Cattrall's appearance was the first sign of things going badly wrong. Her dialogue in the scene where she's flirting with Ewan McGregor was supposed to be titillating. Instead, the audience was in stitches.

It's [i]almost[/i] so bad it's good. [i]Almost.[/i]

[i]they cast cuddly old Tom Hanks as him , making him instantly likeable[/i]

Maybe I should watch that, I quite like hating Tom Hanks.