Plant based rice

So basically just a substitute to reduce calories in a meal, you still need to smother it in something to provide taste, but a bit like the entire market, substituting chickpeas for loads of things, same with other stuff, taste is a bit naff, but stick them with a sache of BBQ/Sweet Chilli/etc and they’re an easy snack to sell to those looking to reduce calories.

There could even be the perfect nightmare of a snack coming soon, plain shirataki ricecakes!

Surprised by the lack of knowledge and judgement on the forum about it tbh. It’s no biggie – been used in the east for a long time.

We’re a bunch of massive fatties over here. We also don’t get enough fibre and suffer from piles and diverticulitis a lot.

So you’d think a fibre that is very low calorie that could bulk up a meal to help you feel full without ending up like Bella Emberg would be just the trick.

But hey ho :)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3435786/

Surprised by the lack of knowledge and judgement on the forum about it tbh

Are you kidding? As if

dust wasn’t enough to clue you in! Also if you look carefully at the packet you’ll find a little heart label at the bottom-left which says ‘Vegan’

It also says ‘non-GMO’ at which point (and by anyone’s standards, yes even vegans) is frankly taking the piss?

The only thing it possibly has going for it is ‘soy-free’. Unless you’re a vegan, which is sort of moot as there is nothing in this world that pleases you anyway.

I’d say take a look at Mr Ben’s Original Chicken Rice for some actual food? But I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that BLM burned every non-recyclable ‘patriarchal-plastic’ pack they could find (after first consuming all of the contents) in an orgy of violent Marxism.

Which brings us neatly back to The Rice Question.

In questions of rice – the answer should almost always be ‘no’. Especially if it’s CND rice. How could we have defeated Communism without the nuclear deterrent?

The Organic Bunny-Hugging Brigade want you to be Communists. If any more proof was needed:

-Look carefully at packaging for clues.
-Don’t fall for it.
-CND does not mean what it claims to mean. It is actually a code for ‘Communism Never Dies’. And even if it did mean what it claims to mean, it would still only mean ‘surrender’.
-‘Hidden vegetables’ speaks for itself. A Trojan horse is of course not a real horse, it’s merely the carrier of a virus. The definition of ‘plant’ is ‘ something that is put in a place to trick or confuse people’. Like a chickpea.

V is for vegetable
V is for vegan
V is for virus

I like the possible side effectd

Glucomannan is generally well-tolerated. Like most high-fiber products, however, it may cause digestive problems such as:

• bloating
• diarrhea or loose stools
• abdominal pain
• gas
• nausea

https://www.healthline.com/health/konjac

Anyway, aside from shipping yet another thing half way round the world in even more packaging the world doesn’t need I’m struggling to be all that bothered. I can kind of see the benefit of nutrition free food, but frankly just eating a shed load of veg in exchange for less healthy parts of your diet is a better shout.

so as I suspected – its really not a food.  Ta for that.

It’s Konjac isn’t it?

Isn’t that a lollipop?

Mmm bacon lollipops!

Anyway, aside from shipping yet another thing half way round the world in even more packaging the world doesn’t need I’m struggling to be all that bothered.

Yes, you’d think that would make sense. Welcome to 2021.

(Paleo Keto CND Veggie/Vegan No-GMO No-Soy Gluten-Freek): ‘Three quarters of fruit and veg eaten in UK is imported and I’m willing to bet that the refrigeration involved is at least as bad as some packaging bla bla bla Monsanto bla bla gluten bla bla keto bla bla keto bla bla carbs’

(Normal person): ‘So even if we do import most of our fruit and veg? At least it isn’t packaged and is actual food. We don’t use any packaging for our normal foods, and we actually enjoy actual food. Win/win.’

(Paleo Keto CND Veggie/Vegan No-GMO No-Soy Gluten-freek): ‘You used the word ‘normal’, which is offensive to non-normals. I’m going to cancel you and your cruel ‘vegetable’ talk. By the way, your breath is offensive to my Breathatarian non-gendered life-partner. Could you please stop breathing’

(Normal person): ‘I’m struggling to be bothered’

/sarcasm
#orisit
#sarcasminception
#doublemeta

It’s Konjac isn’t it?

Oh ye gods, have they even taken the joy out of brandy now? I’m struggling to care.

Before I’m finished with this travesty of a product, has anyone else noticed how so-called ‘food-intolerant’ people tend to be the most intolerant of people?

It’s like they literally insist that they have to eat certain foods rather than be normal like the rest of us. They also never quit demanding they get special labels on their special products. No-one yet really addressed the ‘low FODMAP’ logo on that OP? Assumedly wild-boar is off the menu?*

So they’re eating (let’s call it non-food) which falsely claims to alleviate undesirable symptoms from the same non-food that is giving them these undesirable symptoms? Ad-infinitum.

That would be a cynical and genius-level business model. Even moreso if they could find a way to package the ruse (along with zero-calories) in a handy ambient-storage bag and sell it globally at inflated prices. Oh, wait…

* LOLMAO SWIDT?

I thought the cauli rice I’ve had was surprisingly good – wife and I have just gently sauted a grated cauli with a tablespoon of olive oil.

Duck shit pate?

I guess thats like Avacados not being vegan, cause of the duck workforce.

I wonder why those ducks dont just fly away.
I imagine i dont want to know

I guess thats like Avacados not being vegan, cause of the duck workforce.

So many things in that one sentence…

Must rush tho, my pomodoro alarm just went off. Mrs P also printed out and affixed one of these meme-thingummies suspiciously close to my sight-line:

Maybe its the dried version of the gloop they serve in The Matrix??

I’m struggling to find a joke in:

It’s more gammony rant than joke tbh.

Anyway, aside from shipping yet another thing half way round the world in even more packaging the world doesn’t need I’m struggling to be all that bothered. I can kind of see the benefit of nutrition free food, but frankly just eating a shed load of veg in exchange for less healthy parts of your diet is a better shout.

Yeah… I can kind of see the point, I’m trying to buy in to the ‘low calorie density’ type eating, e.g. shed loads of veg etc. but I still need some sort of carb substitute to make it seem like a meal, and courgetti spaghetti can get in the sea.

But I think brown rice is good enough? And it actually tastes of something and soaks up the soy sauce quite nicely.

Yep. It looks alright:

1) It’s a plant.
2) As a replacement for rice.
3) It’s not GMO – which is a choice many people like to make for plenty of good reasons
4) It’s low in calories – great for weight loss
5) It’s low in carbs – fantastic for diabetics, and again for the weight loss
6) Vegans are people too folks and the vast majority silently so
7) Gluten Free? Great, my niece who’s a severe coeliac can have it (and I don’t have to cook multiple things as we all can)
8) Soy free. Which is great, because soy farming is contributing to huge environmental devestation and at current levels is unsustainable
9) Low FODMAP – helps those with IBS understand where their problems are (for example).

oh and:

10) OPTIONAL – It’s totally not something you’re being mandated to eat by law.

Methinks some people are hugely threatened by “different” and terrified of other people eating differently than them.

Personally, I’m glad we cut 90% of the rice we ate out of our diets for other vegetable alternatives. Our blood sugar is more stable, our veg intake has increased. But I don’t give a monkeys if other people want to eat rice.

Why would I?

chevychase
Free Member

7) Gluten Free? Great, my niece who’s a severe coeliac can have it (and I don’t have to cook multiple things as we all can)

Normal rice is also gluten free and vegan of course.

chevychase – its not food tho!  Its just indigestible cellulose

It’s more gammony rant than joke tbh.

It was indeed intended as a satirical rant in the vein of many such rants. Obviously not obvious enough. #satireishardandgettingharder

Disclaimer: I don’t personally deny the existence or necessity of various food/dietary intolerances and personal choices. Neither do I tend to pick on them (or certain foods/supplements) in order to attack them or call them intolerant gullible stupid attention-seeking snowflakes. (Unless it truly is snake-oil, then I’ll call it.

Our dog has IBS these last ten years and not only is it a pain in his arse (arf arf) but it’s flipping expensive.

Anyway, back to this new-fangled ‘Proof That The World Has Finally Gone Vegescarian Crazy’ product No. 22342 (also known as konjac flour)

What do I win?

Signed Piers Morgan sock, or a Katie Hopkins coaster? PM me stating preference. I’ll sort it no probs for the price of postage 👍🏼

I’m always getting IBS and IDS mixed up. Easily done.

I get confused with this

@tjagain – I’m inclined to agree that it’s not “food”. It’s “something you can eat that doesn’t do you any bad and as a replacement can have advantages”.

Given the list above – those are the areas where there are advantage.

I tend to reserve my “it’s not food” rage for stuff that harms rather than stuff that’s got a purpose and doesn’t necessarily have a stack of downside. Like McDonalds or Subway and the chemical shite they pump out.

If you specifically want a rice replacement, and can’t stomach cauli rice (though you can do that in many ways – some great, some not-so) then kombucha seems a reasonable go to. A bit like those yam spaghetti’s might give people a break from endless spiralized courgette :)

Sometimes you just want a bulky substitute – and if there’s no health or time downside…

(And @northwind – yep, rice is gluten free – but chock full of carbs and calories. If you’re trying to lose weight and/or are diabetic – maybe this is a harm-free option to give you variety?)

BTW – Celery is not food either.

You burn more calories digesting it than it gives you. And it tastes less pleasant than sucking the sweat off a dead man’s balls.

Citation needed!

And it tastes less pleasant than sucking the sweat off a dead man’s balls.

Ah, is that what ‘soffritto’ means?

Don’t take the piss. Food intolerances are real. As to why it’s a modern fad? Well, my grandmother, before she died at about 68 I think (of a stroke, probably not related) for a few years lost loads of weight and had very little energy and became weak and frail. My mum, at about the same age, had the same symptoms and she had very little weight to lose. Thanks to modern medicine and not having the ‘mustn’t grumble’ old person attitude, got seen and diagnosed with gluten intolerance. Regained weight (back up to 45kg!) and is now healthy and fit, cycling regularly in her mid-late 70s.

So bear in mind, scoffing at food intolerance might stop someone getting help.

Re the original product though, it doesn’t appeal. If I want to go low carb I cook meals that don’t need carbs. A favourite lunch for me is leftover veg from last night stir-fried up with chopped sausages or whatever meat is to hand, with a bit of barbecue sauce and grated cheese. It’s bloody delicious and nothing fake required. Another one is stir fry veg with whatever bits of meat, some sauce, and chuck some cashews in. Don’t miss the noodles in that one at all. And yes I know there’s some sugar in the sauce. The best way to eat cauliflower IMO is roasted then covered in mustardy cheese sauce, almonds and bits of proscuitto. Half broccoli half cauli is even better. As long as you can handle the lactose :)

And it tastes less pleasant than sucking the sweat off a dead man’s balls.

I’d like to see the test protocol for the double blind trials for that one…..

And it tastes less pleasant than sucking the sweat off a dead man’s balls.

I’d like to see the test protocol for the double blind trials for that one…..

This is one of those forums (countries?) for which the eating of cauliflower a vegetable is likely to cause more of a song and dance than does necrophilic testes-licking 😝🥜💀

Apart from the words ‘certified vegan’ 🙂

I presume they verify all the staff in the factory producing it, those of any in the supply chain, the staff at the banks they use, all are vegan and never consume, own or use anything remotely animal based including owning a pet (though cats are allowed as you can’t own a cat, cats own you. Although has to be a vegan cat).

Odd really the vegan bit as Plant Based is an attempt to distance from the ideology and be attractive to those who just don’t want to/can’t eat meat or want to cut down.

^

‘Odd really the vegan bit’

What is the Certified Vegan Logo?

Distributed and recognized globally, the Certified Vegan Logo is a registered trademark, similar in nature to the kosher mark, for products that do not contain animal products or byproducts and that have not been tested on animals. The certified logo is easily visible to consumers interested in vegan products and helps vegans to shop without constantly consulting ingredient lists.

Certification

I can see how it’s confusing for many, as no doubt also are the FODmap, Kosher, Gluten-Free, grain-free and non-GMO marks. Not to mention the the big PLANT BASED lettering on the front 😉

But assumedly they can’t also cater for every critic/non-customer as the fonts would be too small, what with limited space on the packaging!

Tough crowd here tho, to be fair.

I presume they verify all the staff in the factory producing it, those of any in the supply chain, the staff at the banks they use, all are vegan and never consume, own or use anything remotely animal based including owning a pet

Decent entry-levelVegan Bingo joke. 3/10? We should do more Kosher, Gluten-Free and Plant Based comedy skits in case they begin to feel left out? I did the IBSegans already, did ‘em up proper!

/satire
#isdead

Signed Piers Morgan sock, or a Katie Hopkins coaster?

Disappointed there are no Katie Hopkins’ socks on offer, but you self-pleasured in those don’t you? I’ll pass thanks, even if both have a higher nutritional content than ‘plant-based’ rice.

Disappointed there are no Katie Hopkins’ socks on offer, but you self-pleasured in those don’t you?

Hopkins pair available, but only if you want them unsullied (no luck as yet).

Piers’ (sock 1) I managed to successfully auction after filling. Remaining has about a week to go by current estimate.

Say what you like about Hopkins, you can’t accuse her sockpins of cankles. Literally tiny. I’ll just Tippex the provenance onto the ankle-cuffs. The sock-cuff combo being iron/chainmail means the postage will be extra of course. They come with two keys (one spare)

Is it cauliflower rice? Use of which from me, is a no.

I love cauliflower but somehow ‘riced’ and cooked as a plain accompaniment tastes really bitter…

The only way I found it palatable is to make it using an otherwise normal special fried rice recipe and methods.

@tjmoore – eh? It’s certified to show it’s a vegan product, and is safe for vegans to eat? I think this product sounds grim, and am in no way a vegan, but find it bizarre how frothy people get about it. Why are people so keen to point hypocrisy when people are just choosing not to eat stuff?

Yesterday I received (I think) my first ever STW mod/report notice for a post I made on this thread.

Cancel culture is real! Ah well.

#satireisdead

I think this product sounds grim, and am in no way a vegan, but find it bizarre how frothy people get about it. Why are people so keen to point hypocrisy when people are just choosing not to eat stuff?

IME it makes them feel better about themselves. To be better than the vile, ‘hypocritical’ straw-creature they are snidely tearing into must feel … ‘empowering’, for some?

Living with a vegan (in the UK) for decades has opened my eyes to a lot of common behaviour towards ‘vegans’. Just as living with a cyclist in the UK has opened her eyes to common attitudes towards ‘cyclists’ (except that I can still dine with the family/old friends without expecting othering/punishment/being made to feel bad)

Because as we know, cyclists ride naked and block roads, hold up traffic and so cause pollution, run red lights, are rude, are entitled, are aggressive, are dangerous, and ride bikes to ‘save the planet’, and carry cameras to ‘catch naughty drivers’ – then any other cyclist (yes you reading this) who doesn’t do all that stuff – then you must be that worst of people – ie ‘a hypocrite based upon your own ‘rules’. The nice tolerant normal person un-self-aware anti-cyclist will of course have these ‘rules’ all laid out ready in their head, like so many sticks waiting to trip you up/to poke in your wheel.

/begin satire: Yes, we non-cyclists may hate/mock/deride/poke cyclists, but only because you cyclists hated us first. You’re trying to stop our freedom to drive our best cars. And anyway, all you cyclists are hypocrites. If you want to save the planet then have you first checked that your ridiculous contraption was made from a carbon-neutral unicorn’s freely-given rainbow-dust, just before you glued yourself naked to an ambulance? Yes you, reading this. You cyclist, you.

/endsatire

(Please don’t report me)

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/roots-of-unity/should-we-eat-less-rice/

Oddly enough, this exact product got mentioned yesterday evening while I was round my brothers, dropping off cards and pressies, as my sis-in-law was asking where the packets had disappeared to. He got one and showed me, as I’d never come across it before, Tess, my s-i-l cannot digest certain products containing wheat and similar, so she uses this stuff, mixed with more flavoursome ingredients instead. As a trained medical professional, she’s more aware than many about what her body can and cannot process or tolerate.

As has been pointed out, it’s something that has been in regular use in Asia for a very long time, Asian people cannot properly digest many foodstuffs that we have no problem with, in particular dairy, it’s just not part of their historical food-chain, so are they going to be criticised for being ‘faddy’?

Fact – some people just cannot abide eating certain things; most meat products are abhorrent to me, and not because of any ethical reasons, the thought of eating them just turns my stomach, and has since I was a child, mainly because there were a number of things that genuinely made me sick, and which I associate with other things through sight and smell, and nothing will make me want to eat them. Kidneys, liver, Haggis, faggots, anything like that is a total turn-off.