Three years ago I had very long hair.
One day, I felt the kiss of the cruel East wind upon my scalp and a short back and sides followed as soon as I could get to a barber – didn’t fancy going full Nutkins. It’s a bad look.
Besides, I don’t know any otters.

However, baldness calls.
I must, eventually, let him in.
That’s fine, it comes to us all, but I ain’t going gracefully.

I’ve had most types of ridiculous haircuts and enjoyed them all.
Never had a ‘fro or dreads, but I don’t regret that – and as Tobi Legend predicted, time has closed the door on those choices.

So, what’s left?

No actual bald patches, just a widow’s peak and a thinning, greyish roofline combined with a long, grey beard (yer basic Karl Marx) which is staying.

So suggestions please.
The dafter the better, I honestly have no shame.

I’m leaning toward a red, Joe Strummer style mohawk, but open to ideas.

Fire away.

Mate went all Neil Young. Not radical, just awful.

The ironic (presumably) mullet is huge in Oz. Combine it with a bowl cut front fringe and you’d look like an idiot…

And photos required obv

I’ve nothing to add other than, most of mine wound up on the salon floor at the weekend. My mum asked if I’d had it done under a general.

Friar Tuck?

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/72933258dde2aeefc5071968913c1fd318b24fb6/0_266_5701_3422/master/5701.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=c6000a7d056a068b4009e45e111d784f

Nah, no Friar Tucks and no Mullets.
I’m not Australian.

I think a tasteful pink mohican might fit the bill.

most of mine wound up on the salon floor at the weekend. My mum asked if I’d had it done under a general.

Yeah, that’s the kind of reaction I’m after. ‘Er indoors is fine with it.
The grandkids have threatened to disown me.

There is precedence BTW.

I was lucky enough to know Alan Jones, a long time member of our climbing club and a renowned classical musician and composer.
Alan rocked a mohican well into his 70’s.

Alan.

https://www.wirralglobe.co.uk/resources/images/12208950.jpg?display=1&htype=576&type=responsive-gallery

how about a devin townsend circa strapping young lad period

Keith Flint / Prodigy style.

Flock of Seagulls innit.

Or possibly this.

Go full firestarter

Or 80’s retro Phil Oakey

One word – Jedward

Nailed on certainty for Thread Of The Week.

didn’t fancy going full Nutkins. It’s a bad look.
Besides, I don’t know any otters.

Poetry.

Combover kingpin style. The baldy man came calling for me at about eighteen years old. Like a fool I tried to ignore him until I was in my mid 20’s. Now I shave it all off about twice a week. If I could have it back but only with a ridiculous style I’d go for

Full shave and skull tattoo ftw.

Awaiting the mullet to fall victim of cultural appropriation.

Circle beards are new to me. Thanks for that!

Has to be some form of tonsure, given your current predicament. I mean, what are you going to do, fill in the baldy hole with a felt-tip?

I’ve always liked girls with Chelsea haircuts.
Give one a go!

OH’s going for a final mullet before he gives in and shaves it off.

Definate mohawk for ultra cool. I’ve gone from waist length dreads to short back and sides in 25 years, mohawk may be final hurrah before the shave. And very much yes to ladies with Chelsea cuts and oxblood DM’s.

I’ve nothing to add other than, most of mine wound up on the salon floor at the weekend. My mum asked if I’d had it done under a general.

I need to do this, as I’m going Nutkins (nice ref) for QUITE a while.. but the g/f keeps saying No, which throws me. Just keep buying more hats..

If you are thinning on top a mullet comes naturally. At least it does for me.

I’ve always liked girls with Chelsea haircuts.

Unfortunately for you, so have they.

You could go for a Zaltzman?

as per cougar’s suggestion, a bit like a Monk’s haircut or ‘egg in the basket’…

I developed a widows peak and tiny bald spot on the crown my head by my early-mid 30s.

I overcame this by getting down to the barbers with the request ‘#1, all over this time please’. After 6 months of paying the same for this as I did for actually getting the damn thing cut (and being an Aberdonian) I decided to buy a set of clippers. After a couple of months I dispensed with the guard and did so for the next 20 years or so. Every 4-6 weeks.

Come lockdown I didn’t have any reason to cut my hair (and pretty much forgot for three months) so I decided to just let it grow. For 6 months. Then a year. And now, 2 years pretty much to the day. I guess it needs a cut (and i will at some point soon). The beard is approaching Gibbonsesque dimensions (i.e. I have to tuck in in my (T) shirt before I eat else I’m eating beard or all food is strained by it).

I currently look like the (fat) love child of Warren Ellis and Bill Bailey.

If Sons of Anarchy ever make another series I’m a shoe in for an extras part 🤪🤣

So I’d say don’t try too hard (in fact, don’t try at all). Not caring in the slightest is the best.

Mohawked Karl Marx? Hmm… 🤔 I’m with the grandkids on this one…

watch a few rugby games.  Weird haircuts seem to be common.  the skullet is a fave 🙂

Roxy Music period Brian Eno…

Flock of Seagulls

My hair fell out when I was early twenties and I regret not having had many daft haircuts before that.

If I had my time again I’d go huge flat top but you sound ripe for a Mohican so go for it!

Just watch the highlights of the weekend’s 6Nations matches for inspiration. Some truly awful stuff on display

what a tune tho.

Bloody hell, the things people think look good!

Mind you, @funkmasterp is that Thomas de Gendt?

Anyway, how about a Peter Gabriel?

Get a devil lock and go full misfits, you might have to dye it black for full effect