But it’s your replies again that mean so much to me.

That is good to hear. We’ve tried to take one thing off your back (the funeral costs), but really, we just all want you to know that you are not alone, even though it must feel that way right now, and this was the obvious practical thing we could do from a distance. But it doesn’t stop there… any way we can help, collectively, even if it’s just listening to your thoughts that you can’t share with the family, we are here.

I’m really sorry for your loss, Gnusmas.
When I saw the thread title, I had a sinking feeling that it would be written by you. There’s no words is there?

I can only hope that a corner will be turned at some point for you & things start to get better. I think that is what everyone on here is urging for you.

Best wishes & thoughts for you over the coming days, weeks & months.

So sorry to hear this Alan; so, so sad 🙁

I am so very sorry to read this Gnusmus.

So sorry to hear this sad news Alan, if there’s anything I can do just let me know.

So sorry to hear that Alan. Unbelievable what keeps getting thrown at you.

Oh what awful news. Heartbroken for you.

So sorry to hear about this. Words are inadequate, but please take care.

Just unbelievable how much you’ve gone through. I’m lost for words. So sorry. 😞

Bump

https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8vjhyU9w6v

Gnusmas – if you do go on your travels and make it as far up as Dundee I’m sure we can find some room for you. There seem to be quite a few STWers in the area so should be able to arrange enough 2 wheeled entertainment.

Take care,

S

Likewise, should you find yourself in or around Edinburgh there are probably enough of us on here to organise a ride as well as sorting something to keep the kids entertained for a few hours.

Gnusmas,

Whenever you feel up to it, drop me a message. Absolutely no rush.

Best wishes Gnusmas.

Struggling to find the words. Take heart from what you’ve seen on here though. We’re all here for you, some of us more visible than others but nevertheless we’re here and we care.

Bump for Xmas eve.

Hope you’re coping ok Gnusmas, would be nice to hear from you.

would be nice to hear from you.

Second that, hoping you’re ok @gnusmas and hoping that despite everything your Christmas works out ok.
CD & clan (& almost certainly the stw collective)

I’ve waited until after midnight to make a small contribution.
If I must be honest I have made it for slightly selfish reasons.

My friend Craig killed himself 2 years ago today, Christmas day.
I cannot and will not ever be able to imagine how bad life must be to do this but I feel deeply for anyone who is left behind to remember and miss anyone who does it.

Take heart mate, other people have lived through this before and you will get through it but it is a **** awful thing to have happened and I wish you and yours all the best.

Rest easy Craig. I miss you and will be out riding today thinking about you.

Thinking of you all, hope you manage to have a good day.

gnusmas – I’m thinking about you today and wishing you as much peace as you can find.

Hope you’re okay Gnusmas. The family Funk will be thinking of you all today xx

Thinking of you today take care of yourself and I hope your day brings some joy.

Gnusmas – You and family are in my thoughts today. Best wishes.

Thinking of you and your family today Gnusmas.

Alan I have raised the first drink of the day to you & your family, I will continue to do so till I fall asleep/pass out.
The picture you put up filled me with hope for you, keep hold of that.

Everyone please keep donating https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8vjhyU9w6v

Thanks again everyone. It’s been a horrendous few days, no sleep at all and a constant pounding migraine too. It’s not been easy trying to keep upbeat through it all for the sake of the kids. My birthday 2 days ago, daughters birthday today and Xmas too, it’s been a pretty emotional time all round.

But the picture I took and shared on the Happy Gnusmas thread is the sole reason I haven’t told them yet. Why risk their happiness at Xmas to not get pictures like that?

I’m not doing great, I’ll be honest, but that’s to be expected. I’m hanging in there and trying to do my best throughout it all. Will have to start the funeral arrangements after Xmas which need doing. Will keep you all updated as and when I can. Thankyou all again

My heart sank at the title, praying it wasn’t who I thought it would be 😔
All I can say is thoughts are with you, the pic in the Merry Gnusmas thread is brill, hope you doing what I’ve done all morning and hug the kids all morning while eating chocolate.

Look after yourself and as long as you have a login here your not on your own👍

Little bump to keep the donations coming

Donation link

So sorry to hear this, you deserve so much better luck. Chipped in. I assume if there’s money left over after you can use it for you and the kids, you should look after yourself too.

What’s the view of folk as to whether I should transfer funds into my bank account to safeguard until Gnusmas feels ready to get in touch?

I’m just getting a bit edgy having all this money sat in a Paypal account, which I believe isn’t as well protected as a bank acc (but feel free to correct me).

What’s the view of folk as to whether I should transfer funds into my bank account to safeguard until Gnusmas feels ready to get in touch?

Do whatever you think best. You’ve sorted it so far. I’ve every confidence you will continue to do so.

@bearnecessities don’t want you worrying about that, I should have got in touch sooner, I’m sorry. It can be transferred whenever you want, the coroner is coming out tomorrow to discuss the arrangements for the funeral so it will probably all start happening quite quickly after that.

I just feel useless and overwhelmed with everything at the moment while trying to keep my chin up until I tell the others. Not something I’m looking forward to but I know it needs to be done.

Overwhelmed is fine, it’s a lot of awful stuff to take in.

As for useless the picture of the other three children shows that is far from true. As far as they are concerned you are playing a blinder. Carry on with that, we can’t influence yesterday from today.

As the Sandwich family are want to say “be more dog” deal with the thing in front of you and then the thing after that as it arrives. At some point you’ll be in a position to make longer term plans but that’s not today.

Take care.

Mike

Wasn’t sure if i should comment or not. I’ve been on here in the back ground for over 10yrs and what’s reassuring about any community (this one in particular) is when things go bad people generally pull together.
So sorry for your loss… unimaginable and i hope you find some comfort in the clear outpouring of goodness. So sad and sincere best wishes

That’s very well put Mike, if only I could think like that more often.

Alan you are braver than you know, as Mike said that picture was pure love & Joy on their faces.

Gnusmas (Alan) has been in touch. It’s no worry on my part (more a sense of responsibility for money that’s not mine) and I’ll leave things as they are for now, until Gnusmas asks differently.

Cheers, Richard

Gnusmas – you are in our thoughts and we are all here for you. Always.

Bunnyhop x

It’s been a tough week or so, still struggling to get my head around it and trying to come to terms with the fact I’ll never see him again. It really hurts.

It’s been a busy few days, lots of phone calls and trying to arrange things. Not been easy at all but everything is getting there now. So many things to take into consideration because of covid too. Got a florist coming to see me today who says she will do what she can with what she has to get some flowers to me on Friday.

Also managed to get a video link to my Mum who’s been in hospital the past 8 weeks, she has MS and is on her final remission. She can’t move at all, can only just move her head and can barely talk. But her mind is still brilliant. Found out a few weeks ago she has 2 broken hips. This is an old injury that hasn’t healed apparently and has explained why she’s been in so much pain. We think it was from being in a care home for a month about 18 months ago when Dad had an operation on his back. A few weeks ago we found out they dropped her out of the sling and she landed on the floor which could have easily caused it. Now she has brittle bones too and still in a lot of pain. There’s no way she can attend but understandably wants to be part of the funeral.

I’m going to see him tomorrow, not how I wanted to but I need to for one last time. Funeral is being held on Saturday at 11am. I really didn’t expect to end 2020 with this news and begin 2021 with my sons funeral.

Thankyou again for all your support, it is all really appreciated.

There aren’t words.

Massive hugs to you and your family.

bunnyhop x

You remain in my thoughts…

There aren’t words.

Massive hugs to you and your family.

pretty much this. we’re all with you and thinking of you.