My dear old things, it's STW TMS!

That answers it… lost the ashes, next target is to not go 5-0

And that, is that.

In the same way as i say don’t judge a pitch before both sides have batted on it – I don’t think any awards for player of the series can be handed out yet.

Instead, we need to mix the teams up for T4 and T5; Aussie top 6 and England 7-11 vs England 1-6 and the Aussie attack

I reckon Cook and Root will make Smith’s returns look paltry playing against Anderson and Broad.

And I bet a few of them will be seeking a pub fight before the next Ashes tour…. Stokes is clearly a very perceptive man.

So, before the series I said that it was critical for England’s senior players to perform. Cook, Root, Moeen and Broad are not worth their place at the moment, with only Anderson playing consistently well and Bairstow with one excellent innings. Of the newer players, Malan is very promising, Stoneman is doing ok and Vince will always frustrate.

So Overton out injured and Curran in, Starc out Bird in, no final word on Payne yet

Won’t make much difference. Warner is due a big one and Smith will press on again. Aus to bat first, make 500 odd, and let good old scoreboard pressure do for England.

So Overton out injured and Curran in, Starc out Bird in, no final word on Payne yet

So, apart from Cummins and Hazlewood, that’s medium pace straight up and down all the way for five days. If I were a batsman in this series I’d barely be able to get my Christmas turkey down in anticipation of smashing a load of pies until I grew tired of it. I’d only want to stop every so often to wipe the gravy off of my bat.

Who’s up then?

Just getting some scrambled eggs on, my mate is in there could be a long day if these 2 get in.

Looks like Anderson is determined to knock the Middle out of the wicket again. FFS. 🙄

And Broad looking totally innocuous as well.

This could be a long, long day in the field for England.

Looking a lot better now, much better bowling to stop the scoring and put them under a little pressure. How long can they keep it up.

and that pressure is evaporating unless they can keep Bancroft pinned in the crease, see how the new lad copes be a good time to get shot of Warner but I’m thinking the word declaration will be used here

The ECB showed a hits reel of Curran’s contributions to the Lions tour. Most of his wickets came from catches in the deep, and it appears he can bat against a second string attack. It seems he fits their mould.

It’s a good job tests aren’t timeless any more, otherwise these two would probably still be batting against this attack by the time we’re due to start at the SCG!

That was not the time for the no ball…..

Thankfully we got him out through sheer boredom a few runs later. Marginally effective tactics I suppose, but at the G I’d be expecting aimed at the stumps gets the odd one that keeps low and asks the LBW question. Still, we’ll see. Last session definitely England’s, so there’s hope I suppose.

I stayed up for the first hour, but couldn’t watch any more appalling bowling so went to bed. At least it seems we bothered to turn up for the last 2 sessions.

5-0 looking likely

*Pulls duvet back over head.*

244-3.

I would regard the ‘3’ as a blip from what I saw last night.

Strangely conservative bowling and fielding. The second session was England’s, and perhaps the “bore them out” tactics will pay off some more, but really, on a flat placid wicket with onlybthe odd hint of uneven bounce, i cant see us taking 20. The Aussie commentators can’t even see them taking 20 (but I think they’re being generous).

Ali woeful as usual. Broad bowled one over in his old style, and that’s the one in which he got his wicket. Anderson bowled well. Curran and Woakes ok but nothing earth shattering. Malan seems to be able to hold an end up. That’s about it really.

Well watching today is hurting more than yesterday. turns out watching the cricket at my mates place was actually code for beer and whiskey tasting (he is a distiller and his mate is a brewer) it made up for a slow day though at least they managed to slow the scoring a little which eats up more time.

Regardless of ‘yesterday’s’ downbeat display, I feel the need to crash out tonight with the commentary on. Could be the beer and gin talking … could be the distorted belief that I’ll wake at 5am to our openers making inroads on a sub-450 total.

Only if Smith gets bored and declares on 449

Well don Curran!! Got Smith 🙂 should have had Warner #FutureofEnglishCricket

and Marsh chopping on, better morning here now!! Time to build on this now.

‘kin ‘ell. Might just have to grab another oversized G&T and remain awake a while longer.

OK then who is going in to replace Ali? If he doesn’t score here then somebody else needs to be playing in Sydney.

I quite like Sydney, I’d have a go!

But seriously, no idea. Root and Malan (neither much worse than Ali) and we find an Englishman other than a vet who can handle a bat? Wood seemed pretty unremarkable for the Lions. TRJ injured, stokes still emulating the opposition’s history. Plunket just not accurate enough.

Hell yes!! Well done on the review. Nearly time for a wagging tail and then the disappointment of England all out for 200

And Broad finally gets a DRS right. Wonders will never cease…

Blimey, now Broady getting in on the act.

Not before time.

Healy just said Anderson really makes the batsman work for their runs, 1st ball 4.

Well, as I left to go An do my bit for the South Australian economy in the sales the Aussie commentators were still whinging about that DRS dismissal. The only thing to whing about that is why didn’t the standing umpire give it out at the first time if asking?

Sod that the chop on is the only way to get out these days!!

England are actually competing here

Yeah. I have a four year old who knows she has money from Santa, and a wife with a hat from me that doesn’t fit. So as nice as it would be to watch England use their two hour quota of dominance in the match, I have more pressing issues…

It’s ok, Australia will be batting again by the time I get back in.

Bird won’t be around for long.

Well he tried a few more minutes with the review

See, when I go out, all the wickets fall…

Can you stay in whilst England are batting?