Been to a few weddings this summer and it got me thinking.

If you could bribe the DJ what would be the most inappropriate song you could play….

My choice U2 which is bad enough but I’d go for……

I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

I want to break free?

The Bitch Song?

That one by Del Amitri, which is about a relationship that ended because the guy was away pumping some other bird.
Always the last to know.
and it’s apparently quite popular at weddings.

The Police one – Every Breath You Take, which every one seems to think is a love song, but is actually about a stalker.

I went to what was meant to be a wedding reception but was changed to a 21st for the brides brother at late notice as the groom was found to be cheating and the money had been paid and Jon-refundable so the bride just had the reception party as a party for her brothers 21st. Atmosphere was a bit weird as everyone knew what the part had been planned as but it’s happened and make the best of it.
DJ has a play list running and it was like slow motion, I heard the first note of a song. Nah he wouldn’t, he’d not have this on the play list, surely you’d realise if your job was a DJ. Oh it is that sound. Billy Idol Nice day for a white wedding. The DJ started running back across the room as he’d been talking to people when the first few notes kicked in, but he also was trying to not run as well so it wasn’t “obvious” 🤣. It was very obvious and the weird atmosphere was now weirder. Don’t think we stayed long that night

We had Whitney Houston – “I Will Always Love You” a song that is about the breakup of a relationship between a man and a woman playing at ours! 30 years later we are still together so I guess we weren’t listening.

Ugly kid Joe – Everything about you

When me and my wife got married we asked all our friends to submit their most inappropriate songs to us, we compiled an hour’s list had had the DJ play them all in what we dubbed inappropriate hour, can’t remember them all now but it included

Puddle of Mudd She – f***ING hates me

Queen – I want to break free

Prodigy – Smack my bitch up

U2 – Still haven’t found what I’m looking for

Tammy Wynnette-  D.I.V.O.R.C.E

Ugly kid Joe- Everything about you

My parents thought it was a bit odd but most people seemed to see the funny side.

You’re beautiful – James Blunt.

Sounds nice, gets played a lot, actually about a drugged up stalker…

Puddle of Mudd She – f***ING hates me

This was my first thought.

Or:

My Baby is a headf*** by The Wildhearts

Shaggy – It wasn’t me..

Friends had AC/DC Ballbreaker as their first dance.

Never sure if that was the long suffering Grahams defiant last stand or his wife setting out the ground rules. They have recently celebrated 25 years though.

Babybird – You’re gorgeous is apparently a popular one with people who’ve clearly only listened to the chorus, not the rest of the lyrics, as its actually about sexual exploitation

I petitioned for Arctic Monkeys, When the Sun Goes Down… “what a scummy man…” I was denied.

We did however end up with Pulp, Do You Remember the First Time.

EDIT: These were for our ‘first song’ btw.

Rolling Stones ‘Backstreet Girl’, ‘I’m Moving On’

Johnny Winter ‘I Love Everybody’

Joy Division ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’

Sung by the bridesmaids 😆

We did however end up with Pulp, Do You Remember the First Time.

Amazing – totally inappropriate in every way!

I Wanna Sex You Up – Color Me Badd

Me So Horny – 2 Live Crew

I used to have a whole list of these. Great topic

Poison – Alice Cooper

is another one that comes to mind.

We were going to play Chris Isaak – Wicked Games as it was perfect for two people who definitely weren’t meant to get married but bottled it and went for Eric Clapton Beautiful Tonight. Still together 30+ years later and still family members who won’t talk to us as we weren’t a ‘suitable’ couple

I’ll just suggest this.
Nothing Compares 2 U.

When my sister-in-law got married the first dance was followed by ‘Everyday I love you Less and Less’

It wasn’t a bad should as the marriage only lasted about 18 months.

When we were thinking about our first song, my wife (who *never* listens to song lyrics – which is a bit weird TBF) suggested Tender by Blur. Fortunately, we listened to it together and realised…

Love’s the greatest thing that we have
I’m waiting for that feeling
Waiting for that feeling
Waiting for that feeling to come

Monsta Boy, Sorry (I didn’t know). Features the classic wedding line “should have known better than to sleep with your best friend”

Woman by The Anti Nowhere League. No one will be misinterpreting that

‘Don’t Marry Her’ – The Beautiful South

‘Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright’ – Dylan

‘I Heard it Through the Grapevine’ – Marvin Gaye

‘Country Feedback’ – REM

‘Gonna Leave You’ – Queens of the Stone Age

Iron Maiden
Bring your daughter
Bring your daughter to the slaughter
Let her go, let her go, let her go

Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter, Iron Maiden

Waterboys Thrill Has Gone

I once went to a wedding where the bride and groom did the first dance to Creep by Radiohead which was an interesting choice.

Our “first dance” music was (yes, we did an embarassingly shit quickstep; years ahead of our time) “Let’s face the music and dance” 😂

I didn’t even have to suggest it – was my wife’s choice

I once went to a wedding where the bride and groom did the first dance to Creep by Radiohead which was an interesting choice.

I once went to a wedding where the first dance was Nothing Else Matters by Metallica. That was a toe-tapping uplifting start to the celebrations…

Love don’t live here any more by Rose Royce would be my choice. My mum sings it round the house when she’s in a good mood apparently…

“Today was the first day I went through hell. . .”

Yvonne Fair, It should have been me

Roy Hammond and The Souls – Shotgun Wedding.

Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention – Go Cry On Somebody Else’s Shoulder.

The Smiths – There is a Light that Never Goes Out. Or unsettle the relatives with Smack my Bitch Up – Prodigy.

Being pressed for some suggestions for our DJ among a thousand other things to sort out in the run up to our wedding, My Wife’s a Psychopath by the Toy Dolls popped into my head. The somewhat tougue in cheek title and catchy punk tune came to mind, so I popped it on the list.

It was only when I listened to it a couple of days later that the rather graphic descriptions of domestic violence came back to mind.

There was a hurried email to our DJ to remove it from the list after that.