Most humiliating bike incident?

My very first attempt at road racing was at the old Eastway circuit .
I had borrowed a bike from a mate and was pedalling up from the car park with my kit bag over one shoulder. Just as I went past the bench (full of gnarly old Vets) outside the changing room, the bag came off my shoulder and a strap went in to the front wheel.
I did a complete summersault ,and landed on my arse in front of them all. No damage to me or the bike and no comment from the crowd, just a look of pity ,at someone with hairy legs that had no idea what he was letting himself in for. Racing with them later, I received my next humiliation of the day as I disappeared out the back quicker than a not very quick thing . 😀

This year is my second “season” of regional short course XC “racing” – last year I was usually found propping up the back of the field with the singlespeeders, acting as a mobile chicane for the leaders. So I’d spent the whole winter on the turbo, desperately trying to improve my fitness to possibly inch my way up to a mid-pack finish.

In the first lap of the first race a couple of weeks ago, I was feeling pretty awesome. I’d got myself solidly into the middle of the pack by the end of the first climb and was actually being held up by a slower descender on the first descent (I’m the world’s worst descender, so this was a surprise). I spotted a gap on a transition between two singletrack descents and decided to go for my first ever racing overtake.

“Rider on your left” – I shot past the slower rider on his inside, overshot the corner into the next bit of singletrack, washed out the front wheel on a dusty berm and catapulted myself OTB (and several feet into the undergrowth). In front of a huge group of spectators and the St John’s Ambulance guys. Who pissed themselves laughing.

Another ‘getting used to spds’ tale..not quite as humiliating as some tales.

I was out with my son in the local woods and saw in the distance a women with her 7-9 yr kid out running. As they approached I was mid tight turn, forgot I had spds and went down like a sack of potatoes. Both her and daughter laughed and as they she passed she told me that her daughter had just commented “wow he must be a good at cycling to be in the woods”.

I’m obviously not the only one to have fun with SPD’s.
In the late 90’s I used to ride the 3 miles or so into work on my first mtb along a stretch of the Worcester canal before leaving at a major set of traffic lights. All was well until one snowy morning when my cleats had frozen to the pedals without me realising it. At said traffic lights on red I toppled sideways onto the road in front of a car. The occupants got out to check I was OK but had difficulty talking and laughing at the same time.
A more recent incident last year in the Wyre Forest I was showing a couple round some of the better bits in fine and dry conditions and completely lost it on a small(ish) drop known locally as Dog Kennel. Result a spectacular OTB, 1 written off helmet, numerous cuts, bruises and a badly dented ego.