The car isn’t ‘keeping going wrong’. An idiotic mechanic told me I needed a new ECU when I didn’t, new ECU is either faulty or the wrong hardware version, not sure which.
Nothing wrong with the EGR valve, the problem is either wiring, hardware version, or a hardware fault.
Gearbox problem is either some kind of restricted mode caused by the EGR problem or it’s something going on with the oil or the clutch plates. I haven’t checked the oil yet.
Cost me £156 to have an electronics expert (who was pretty decent actually) agree with me, and update the gearbox and engine software.