Lane swimming, a mini rant!

There are three lanes, fast, medium and slow. Why oh why oh why do people insist on swimming in the fast lane at a pace slower than those in the medium lane? Even when this is pointed out to the pool attendants, they still do nothing.

Then the manager throws a strop when you ask for a refund.

Check your ego and pick the lane that suits the speed you’re swimming at.

If you manage a pool, stop employing 12 year old pool attendants who are scared of asking people to switch lanes.

This ^^ put me off going swimming, also people with bad breath… nothing like taking in a lung full of stale burgers to put you off your stroke

people who do 2/4 fast lengths and then hang around at the end of lane for ages.

You get the opposite too. People way too fast to be in the ‘slow’ lane who then tut and do their best to whack you as they overtake.

Having swum about 4-5 times a week for the last 8 months peoples common sense seems to go out of the window. Got kicked in the face and the bloke said “I didnt do it on purpose”, sorry mate are you ok would have been more appropriate 😕

The best or worse was bloke practising his back stroke starts, hit about 5 people and was thrown out of the pool, his wife/partner kicks off and the police were called. This is in a small Dorset town 😯 never seen them since mentalists.

Serious swimmers in lycra with their own floats and drinks bottles are similar to glum roadies 😉

Don’t get me started…
It’s always blokes too.
“I am a man. I am quicker than a 14 year old girl. I am quicker than that old fart doing the breast stroke, badly”. No you’re not.
It’s worse this time of year as lardy arses try to get themselves a beach body in 6 weeks.

I used to go to a gym with it’s own little pool, despite signs telling you to swim circuits people would just do lengths. Which was great until there were more than three of you.

Something about swimming pools turns people stupid, same as with roads.

IME.

The slow lane is frequented by the elderly having a nice chat.

The medium lane is frequented by people who should be in the slow lane but don’t want to chat, people who should be in the fast lane but want to prove how fast they are, and the true medium laners dodging the others.

The fast lane is for the

Pigface – Member

Serious swimmers in lycra with their own floats and drinks bottles are similar to glum roadies and the blokes with too much testosterone.

I’m too slow for the fast lane, too fast for the medium, so end up having to keep stopping to wait for a gap.

There’s no such thing as fast and slow lanes. It’s inside lane, middle and outside. The middle and outside lanes should only be used when overtaking fat beach bodies with burger breath.

Its nicer to swim in the empty fast lane than the crowded middle speed lane. I used to do the same but would move out if someone faster (ie anyone) turned up. My daughter used to make a point of tumble turning as close as she could to people stood at the end wall.

I got cut across the face by some silly bitch who thought it would be a laugh swimming in a busy lane with flippers. Blood pouring down my face no apology and she’s indignant that i asked the guards to ask her to take them off.

The whole idea of public swimming pools is just weird.

Never seem to suffer the OP’s problems in my local pool….

T'other Side of River by Slugwash[/url], on Flickr

I was swimming in a medium lane, happily pootling along and this bloke in his 60’s turned up, dived in and swam straight at me pushing me physically out of the way (I was swimming correctly clockwise). I asked him what he was doing- blanked me and carried on, so I turned to the attendants and asked and one replied ‘oh thats burt, he swims in that spot every day at the sametime, he tells us to **** off so we leave him to it’.

It seems there are politics in the pool.

The way I have always done it is: if I’m catching everyone up move to a faster lane, if you are in the fast lane and still catching people up either switch to the empty lane or touch people’s feet once or twice as they approach the end so you can overtake. Simples.

As for the doing fast lengths and then taking a breather that’s interval training isn’t it? Much better for than you thrashing around making lots of waves and crawling along at a snails face for 60 minutes. Its a bout quality not quantity isn’t it?

As for the people with all the kit (normally middle aged men and women who are *professionals*) In my experience they are normally triathletes proving that whilst they are very fit, they are awful at every sport they do 🙂

The best time for the swimming pool is when everyone else is at work.

Only then, you have to put up with the girls swimming two-abreast. Still isn’t as bad as straight-arm crawl testosterone guy.

I’ve given up swimming because of this.

The slow lane was used by OAP’s gently pootling up and down, and was double-width. The fast lane was a standard lane width with some pretty fit people motoring up and down non-stop.

I used to use the medium lane as I could do a fair pace for about 4 lengths but needed to stop every now and then, similar to the other 3 or 4 people who used it.

However there was a father and daughter would turn up each week, she was obviously training for water polo or something as she would sprint a length, stop for a bit and pootle back. This was OK if it was quiet as she would wait for a gap. Bit awkward if busy as she would shoot up teh wrong side overtaking people and plough into others coming the other way, including me. Her old man was even worse, he’d just hang around giving her instructions then fire up the middle (this is a single standard swimming lane with 2-way traffic) hence punching everyone going teh same way and crashing into anyone going back. Then he’d moan about people swimming too slowly in the medium lane.

I couldn’t be doing with all that so just gave up in the end, the guy was a tosser and had no consideration. If he wanted special training sessions, either go at a quiet time or book a lane out privately.

Sorry rant over now!

It used to be the rule of the fast lane that you swam over anyone going slower, ie grabbed them by the ankle and pull them under you as you go along. Kept “most” of the slow swimmers out, and spured you on a bit when some of the proper fast ones were in the pool.

Don’t see the problem with stopping at the end when between shorter sets, as long as you move into the corners and leave room for others to turn.

It is awkward trying to do some technique work with fins, floats and other kit, I have pretty much given up on it although I wish I could find a quiet time in the pool when it was possible.

Basically there are just not enough facilities for all the people who want to use them.

I like the idea of swimming over other people and I’d be happy to recieve the same treatment from faster swimmers. Not sure it would go down too well with the breast stroking middle aged folks.

The last time I did any lane swimming was when i was recovering from a load of damaged ligaments in my ankle last year.
If a faster swimmer had grabbed that ankle i would have bloomin murdered them. It was bad enough when you got the big fat idiots bombing up and down the slow lane scattering and punching grannies

I hate lane swimming, especially when i was stuck in the slow lane because i couldn’t kick due to my ankle being screwed

I love the fact that people moan about the stress that fat people put on the NHS then when they try to do something about it they get slagged off for being crap at it.

If you want the pool to yourself, don’t go to a public baths! Just like cycling some people swim for pleasure not for training.

*I am not a swimmer just think some people attitude stinks worse than burger breathe.

public lane swimming is rubbish once you go over 3 people in a 25m lane

if you want a proper work out join a swim or tri club where everyone in the lane is doing the same thing

oh and the pool lifeguards (attendants) have to be at least 16, are qualified, and are continually assessed. The real reason they are there is to pull out the stressed out men when their heart finally pops rather than sorting out petty differences.

public lane swimming is rubbish once you go over 3 people in a 25m lane

Really? Are you that fast that you need 2/3rd of a length lead minimum when doing long sets? Even when I was fit and club swimming we would have eight to a lane.

Personally I find that it doesn’t take very long to clear the lane down to a reasonable amount of people if you are fast, if you aren’t clearing the lane, then perhaps you just aren’t that fast 🙂

I am not a swimmer just think some people attitude stinks worse than burger breathe.

Why thank you

Just to clarify, I’m not being fattist having been 20st at one point myself and some of my closest friends are fat.

I’m being judgemental based on my personal observations and experiences of being clattered by big fat idiots flying up the slow lane with no regard to anyone else

STW…. gold

lol

Wasn’t aimed at anyone in particular just always happens on STW when someone gets in the way of the elite athletes on here. People just start blaming fatties, at least they’re trying!

Road.cc have posted an article about about free bikes for deprived areas of Birmingham, their Facebook link has lots of charming comments about the poor and fat.

As a race, we do pretty much suck a lot of the time.

at least they’re trying

aye it takes a lot of effort to try and shift them fat arses up a hill

I’m always screaming STRAVA! at them so my svelt 15st* can power past on my way to 178th place on that section

(*currently optimistic about that)

I used to have to share a lane with a top top triathlete, he would pass (everyone) every 6-8 lengths, when I talked to him he said it didn’t bother him at all, very laid back.

Public swimming sessions are notorious for being hit and miss with people’s etiquette, unfortunately.

To the OP: If you want to swim in the public pools unhindered I’d recommend joining an ASC, as suggested a few posts up. Used to regularly have 8+ people sharing lanes doing various length sets and didn’t see anyone have a punch-up/anger issues. Having several people just behind you kept you honest in the effort you were putting in too!

It’s not a complaint about too many people, it’s not a complaint about fat people. It’s not a “look how fast I am” thing either. It’s that people are not thinking about which lane they get into. Why I can, I go to swim training session. It’s true, when everyone is doing the same thing you can stack loads into the lanes. My preferred option is listed above by slugwash.

I don’t do intervals or sets on a lunch time swim because it’s so crowded. All I want to do is get some distance in, which would work perfectly if either people put themselves in the correct lane or the attendants “advised” them which lane they should be in.

A couple of lengths of noisy butterfly can thin out the lane nicely 🙂
Not me, I play nice. Oh alright I might meet passive aggression with a bit of passive aggression of my own. Swimming’s so meditative, people just switch off sometimes and forget their brains and common sense. Lifeguards are probably completely unaware of how would up you are getting…

It’s not just public pools, my wife is always complaining about la fitness, and David Lloyd when she was there.

As well as lame complaints, there are also the ones about the staff being useless, and family swim times running off their slots and the staff not doing anything about it, etc.

I am 37 and learning to swim (mega phobia about it). I was hoping to go into the big pool but you guys have out me off. Everyone is polite in the tiny learner pool.

Good luck robdob, my mum was a swimming teacher before she retired and got many a non-swimming pensioner swimming confidently. You’ll be fine 🙂

Great thing about living in Germany is I have 4 or 5 50 metre pools within 10k of where I live, I just found a new 1 when I got lost on the MTB recently stuck out in the middle of nowhere, I will have to see if it opens early in the morning, as the one I currently go to is getting too busy.

*I am not a swimmer just think some people attitude stinks worse than burger breathe

For 90% of the time, public pools are open for splashing around, family fun, grannies doing the hollywood crawl etc. If your lucky for a few hours a week they create 3 lanes so people can swim lengths at an appropriate pace. It’s the people who **** up the rather simple slow/medium/fast system that are displaying ignorance and selfishness.

I am 37 and learning to swim (mega phobia about it). I was hoping to go into the big pool but you guys have out me off. Everyone is polite in the tiny learner pool.

you should be fine – as long as you’re not fat…

The best time for the swimming pool is when everyone else is at work.

Nah, then it’s full of the blue rinse brigade that deposit their bottle of Dior on the surface of the water.

Friday and Saturday evenings at my local are the best; I never miss it. (possibly a reflection on my social life)

It’s sometimes completely empty. Breaking the surface of a completely still pool is one of those simple pleasures.

As an added bonus, rather attractive ladies appear to also work with these timings, and are very pleasant/chatty with it. All makes for a very nice evening!

If someones annoying you simply piss yourself in their path whilst doing a lazy backstroke.

Then get out.