Kids – How many and are you happy with the choice?

0. Deliriously so.

1 little boy just under 12 months old. We keep contemplating another, but I reckon we will end up sticking with one. Those difficult first couple of months are still fresh in our memories…

1, and yes. Wouldn’t mind another.

I used to be 0, and yes; but with the wisdom of hindsight 1, and yes is better 🙂 and I now have *more* free time, as I spend less time at work and doing DIY…

yup.. you gotta balance out the stats.. otherwise the scummers with 6 kids by 6 fathers will be the majority..

Yeah SaxonRider’s taking up my slack there though.

Two here, aged 17 and 15. Happy with that, and love them to bits. Wife would have carried on to 3… or 4 etc.

What’s becoming increasing obvious is that they’re each others’ best friend. I suspect they’ll always be close.

i had to point out that financially it would be hard.
we’d need a bigger house,

I clearly don’t know your specific circumstances, but I have never entirely understood this. I mean, there is obviously a limit that we can fit in a house/afford to support, but sometimes I wonder if this isn’t exaggerated.

When I said above that I have ‘a lot’ of kids, I meant ‘8’: 7 boys and 1 girl. I live in a Victorian end-of-terrace that had 3 bedrooms until we extended into the loft, and while it is tight sometimes, we more than manage. I have often said that if I ever won the lottery, I would just pay off my mortgage without moving. I like where I live, and I like my lifestyle, and that very much includes the children.

It means living creatively, but we certainly don’t go without.

I’m one of 5 and grew up in a 3 bed 80’s house in a small village; it was cosy as but it was fine, parents in one room, boys in one and girls in the other.

‘want’ and ‘need’ are frequently confused… and it teaches you to get on, cope with distractions and get up in the morning.

When I said above that I have ‘a lot’ of kids, I meant ‘8’

SR – No wonder you don’t know which year it is most of the time. 😉

I’ll continue my day with a renewed respect for you. That is hardcore.

None and don’t want any, like quite a few on here it seems!

I like kids, playing games with them and watching them grow and develop. But there is no way I could put in the effort required to have one of my own, even with a model mother. Any more than an hour or two around any kid, even well-behaved ones, and I want to escape and run away from them. I’ve known this for a very long time and have had to end a relationship after she initially felt the same but the old biological clock changed her thinking. I couldn’t think of anything worse than agreeing to have one then resenting her and it for the rest of my life so we parted ways. She now has two kids and is very happy so it was the correct choice for her.

I’d be perfectly happy with my own little house and two cats, plus a few bikes, gettingmy mum to realise that I won’t be providing any grandkids is proving hard work though.

Two boys and yes and no. I wanted four but I’m not the one who has to bear them!
Mother was one of four, I would have been one of four, both sisters have four. Four is a good number for a busy family time.

Our two also “play competitively” as only 19yo and 16yo boys can 😉

0. Deliriously so.

I believe you, but probably not particularly useful to the OP.

Yes i know i shouldn’t look at the financial side but it is actually valid as a concern

It’s definitely a valid concern, but it does need perspective: whatever your financial circumstances chances are that most of the world are raising their kids on a hell of a lot less.

So it’s really a question about where you personally want to set that balance (which is a slightly different but still very valid question).

I believe you, but probably not particularly useful to the OP.

Apologies, I just answered the question, I didn’t realise that the OP was making the decision to reproduce or not based on the advice of strangers on a cycling forum.

3 here – 2 boys (11 and 8) and 1 girl (5 next month).

I originally only wanted 1 but wife convinced me otherwise and got to admit v, v happy with 3. No chance of any more (snip, snip…).

The boys are very good friends, the girl likes to wind them up and never stops singing!!!!

Yes you’re outnumbered and frequently trying to split yourselves 3 ways, but nothing that can’t be managed.

1
very very happy.
the “decision” to stick at 1 was based around difficulty with conception , lack of space in house and car , interruption to wife’s retraining and general getting on a bit in life , also crankbrat while utterly charming could easily be sloughed off by the competition .
I am one of three children and an obvious accident/ massive afterthought . My two brothers who are conventionally close in age never really seemed to get on and still don’t.

1, 6 year old beautiful daughter. Would love to have second, but my daughter is Type 1 diabetic and as my wife and i both work full time (and i’ve been made redundant 3 times in 5 years), having a second would be a financial issue and it would be touch to ask of my mother in law who has my daughter 2-3 hours a day and for us, as we are exhausted with getting up twice in the night to chekc my daughters bloods and then up at 5am for work.

Wouldn’t change it, as a big kid myself i was worried when my wife was pregnant, genuinely felt it would turn life around and it has, but for the better, i don’t think you’ll ever love anything as much as you do your children. in the space of 10 minutes she can annoy the hell out of me, but all she has to do is smile or be cheeky and all is right with the world.

Apologies, I just answered the question, I didn’t realise that the OP was making the decision to reproduce or not based on the advice of strangers on a cycling forum.

The OP is unsure whether or not to try for a second child, and was asking for other people’s advice. Perhaps you could try reading it instead of making sarky comments to me.

You’re right that it probably wasn’t a helpful comment. But many other people have answered “0” previously, why single me out?

If you don’t want sarcasm, don’t have a dig in the first place.

two. girl aged 12, boy aged 10. Very happy (with the number and them!)

they play well together – or did. One of them’s becoming a bit bolshy (i’ll let you work out which)

always planned two – wife thought about three, but then there was an almost accident and she was glad we stuck at two!

Bloke my age at work has 11 kids, ranging from 18months to 20 years. Eldest already has children. To be fair he’s happy with it.

in the space of 10 minutes she can annoy the hell out of me, but all she has to do is smile or be cheeky and all is right with the world.

That’s about right 🙂

You’re right that it probably wasn’t a helpful comment. But many other people have answered “0” previously, why single me out?

If you don’t want sarcasm, don’t have a dig in the first place.

Your comment was the first I saw. And I didn’t have a dig: I pointed out, politely, that your comment wasn’t helpful, as you now acknowledge.

Anyway, OP: we have two, 2.5 years apart. I think you can argue the age gap thing both ways. With a smaller gap, it’s true that they’re more likely to have shared interests and play more together, but on the other hand managing a newborn and a toddler is extremely hard work and toddlers aren’t mature enough to deal with the inevitable jealousy. I’d quite like a third – babies are great – but Mrs R is less keen and I’m not sure I have the energy for another two years of sleep deprivation.

Boy 7
Girl 4
They fight ALL the time, its really putting a strain on the family, we have to do separate activities if we want a “normal” day out, they have ruined so many occasions its depressing, its really backfired having the second one.
Don’t assume if you have another that they’ll play together.
Some days I’m glad to see the back of ’em. The missus took them for a weeks uk break in the summer and to be honest it was heaven until they came back & started fighting.
That is all.

I clearly don’t know your specific circumstances, but I have never entirely understood this. I mean, there is obviously a limit that we can fit in a house/afford to support, but sometimes I wonder if this isn’t exaggerated.

When I said above that I have ‘a lot’ of kids, I meant ‘8’: 7 boys and 1 girl. I live in a Victorian end-of-terrace that had 3 bedrooms until we extended into the loft, and while it is tight sometimes, we more than manage. I have often said that if I ever won the lottery, I would just pay off my mortgage without moving. I like where I live, and I like my lifestyle, and that very much includes the children.

It means living creatively, but we certainly don’t go without.

i come from a large family…5 boys 2 girls. wife also comes forma large family 5 girls 2 boys. she grew up in a 3 bed terrace. i grew up in a 4 bed terrace. we both grew up with the living creatively thing.
financially it would be harder for us to justify another child…we pay close to £200 per week for the youngest to go to full time nursery…this was double with the second one also being in nursery up until this year when she went into reception class at primary school.
both our combined salaries put us above the threshold for financial help with childcare.
the car is still not fully paid for yet…if i sold it now i doubt i’d have much left after i’d cleared the finance on it
we live in a small 3 bed terrace…even with the 5 of us and all the kids stuff the house is cramped and cluttered…having a fourth child would almost certainly mean that we would have to buy a bigger place.

its not just the financial side of things. we’re both working so i only see the kids in the morning when i drop them off at school/nursery. by the time i get home theyre in bed or ready for bed so i only get to spend real quality time with them at the weekend
having a fourth child would only further decrease the limited time i get with them…and i dont think it would be fair on them
i know its all about time management etc and finding a good work life balance…but right now having a 4th would upset that balance financially and emotionally

3 and happy. Eldest turned 5 last week, 2 yr old and 6 months. I’ve been busy. Possibly not finished yet either.

If you don’t want sarcasm, don’t have a dig in the first place.

now, now children…lets be nice to each other…
or else its the naughty step for both of you and you’ll be off to bed without any pudding!!

I’m rarely offended by any comments on STW. I’ve been here for almost a decade and know what I’m letting myself in for.

1. Yes, but….

We wanted another and, while the memories of a difficult first pregnancy weren’t forgotten, the second attempt resulting in a full molar pregnancy and recovery from the subsequent treatment put us off.

By the time we were mentally ready, the idea of trying for kids in our late 30s, having a child settled in school, my own long term health concerns and very busy jobs, it meant we decided not to try for any more.

I do feel guilty that my daughter needs to have access to her friends to play with another child, and often feel sad at what might have been (and I know Mrs North feels it way more than even I do), but we’re a very content little family unit.

That said, the two new kittens in the house are definitely a substitute for something….

0.7 of a child. Due December 14th. I’ll update then. Happy with the decision presently.

For all the ‘we want them to play together’ people, I’m an only child. I don’t wish I had a sibling, never have. I had a lovely childhood, I’m close to my parents and have a broad circle of friends.

0 & yes

3 and we could’ve gone 4 tbh, but that was two emergency caesarians and an elective so not a great idea.

Yes, happy, though I just looked away for a couple of seconds and it seems the youngest has now left for uni as well. Luckily the cats are getting on a bit and can no longer be arsed crapping in the neighbour’s garden, preferring the kitchen floor. So that keeps me busy.

Parenting observation: I definitely signed up for babies/toddlers, knowing that I’d have to deal with kids, and even dimly aware that teenagers existed. I am only now learning how much being a parent is still to be done with grownups…

Mrs Ed keeps saying we could have a third and I tell her to get real

1 he’s awesome. Should have started sooner, too late now. Still I have an awesome son, so its all good.

5,4, 2 and a 6 week old plus a 5 year old from another “relationship” – ill reply later when I’ve got time

9, 6, 0.5 yes.

quick scroll back, high 5 saxonrider 😆 oddly for mine and your username, my newest born is called Saxon 8)

3 girls… 3,5,7… Some days are hard. Some days are very hard. Then there’s moments of magic… Just enough of these to stop me going mad.

3 love them all but glad they are grown up

We have a 6 year old and a baby girl of 8 months. Our 6 year old lad is autistic and cant talk.
On the whole, he’s a fab little boy. Well behaved, always eager to please. But no sense of danger whatsoever, cant explain anything to him, still not toilet trained. He runs away at every opportunity.
One of the things I find the hardest is picking him up from school. He comes out with a big smile, gives me a hug….and then I ask him if hes had a good day. He never replies. I ask him every time in the hope that’ll he’ll answer me one day. It breaks my heart.
We’ve spoken about having another but Im terrified of anything like this going wrong again.

The baby is however coming on leaps and bounds….looking forward to all the normal parent stuff that we’ve missed out on first time around like being excited for Christmas, birthdays etc.

0, so-so.

The ex had a son, I did a share of parenting along the way (including post split looking after him post uni when he was job hunting). The single most selfless thing I’ve ever done and count him as close family (he was the fourth coffin bearer for my dad). He has been a massive help to me, really, and I ‘count my blessings’. There might have been a sibling for him but it didn’t go full course… (Think it was ectopic).

I have three wonderful nieces. And a severely autistic nephew. I’m a shit uncle really but they do gladden my heart.

I’m mixed about whether I would’ve wanted a child of my own, there is enough heartache in this world already.