Jon eats a whole raw potato to take himself out of the mood…

They could have just had two children and then dispensed with any need for water mists and raw potatoes.

I think you’ll find one child is adequate. 😥

Potato? Why not just knock one out?

I am glad that these two have found one another. 🙂

Seriously? What is wrong with these people?

Bloody weirdos. Have as much sex as you want for the first couple of years, after that you can abstain for as long as you bloody want.

Of course her shoving a carrot up his Gary doesn’t count as sex.
Praise the **** lord.

Do you reckon it would work with other vegetables? Broccoli maybe?

Do you reckon it would work with other vegetables?

you find raw potato arousing and are looking for an alternative?

Munching on a raw sprout has to be the veg that would kill anyone’s ardour?

Is she saving herself for Jesus?

I wonder how his internet history reads?

Toby1 has it. Any one who wears their holiness so publicly will definitely have some interesting specialist bookmarks on their browser.

Darla told Jon she wanted her sex life to be double-holy; imagine his disappointment.

reported.

you find raw potato arousing and are looking for an alternative?

Munching on a raw sprout has to be the veg that would kill anyone’s ardour?

Nothing can compete…..

*rubs thighs*

Cougar – Moderator

Darla told Jon she wanted her sex life to be double-holy; imagine his disappointment.

Ahem…

Rules

In addition to the above guidelines we have a limited number of hard and fast rules that you should familiarise yourself with before posting on any of our forums.

No posts of a sexual nature, including images of a sexual nature or intended to provoke a sexual response.

But you already knew that, didn’t you? 😉

I was talking about her religious beliefs. I have no idea what you are on about.

Cougar – 😆

Captainflasheart – eating Durian wouldn’t suppress anyone’s ardour surely? They’re lovely. Sitting on it might distract you for a while 🙂

Dude got friend-zoned so hard it made the news!

I’m just hoping she gets pregnant and then declares it must be a miracle…

I am sure Darwin approves of their approach. I support them being removed from the gene pool, voluntarily or otherwise.

Issues.

Sex within marriage is fine according to Christianity, so they have other issues.

Sex within marriage is fine according to Christianity…

But Darla wants to be double holy.

Sex within marriage is fine according to Christianity

Doesn’t that depend which flavour you subscribe to? I thought Catholicism promoted the whole ‘every sperm is sacred’ schtick? Ie, you can do it, but only for babymaking?

They wouldn’t be the first people in human history to have made a virtue out of extreme nervousness about sex.

Issues +1

Isn’t lack of consummation considered reasonable grounds for a divorce?

Also, presumably they have a dim view of their own “sinful” parents, and grandparents, and great-grandparents etc etc etc.. right back to Adam and Eve?

Looks like it might be a prank…[/url]

*it may be a fake alert*

http://sexandthesanctuary.wordpress.com/tag/christian-satire/%5B/url%5D

Although I quite like this story;

ANAHEIM HILLS — A small group from Life Baptist church met during the week, but the members have no memory of seeing each other because they were staring at their smartphones the entire time.

http://www.larknews.com/archives/4193

Lack of consummation is grounds to annul an English marriage. But one of the parties has to want to. If they’re happy eating raw potato instead of doing a sex, no-one needs to bother them.

fakety fake fake fake … but funny .. other examples here… 🙂
Larknews.com[/url]

Darla told Jon she wanted her sex life to be double-holy; imagine his disappointment.

Beat me to it.

If she loves God, maybe she should look at God’s Loophole NSFW

fakety fake fake fake ..

Well thank the Lord for that 😀

Fake or not, get married, don’t have sex, sounds like a marriage to me

Potato doesn’t do it for me and MrsSB – in fact quite the opposite as it forms the central part of showing her a good night out 🙂

Virgin on the ridiculous

(Tries and fails to find the Fat Slags cartoon where she drops her chips during, ahem, ‘it’).

Fake

Was it a Daily Mash story?

Is she saving herself for Jesus?

I read this as “shaving”.

I’m a Catholic cougar, and whilst my sperm may be many things, it most certainly isn’t sacred. Having said that, I’m sure I heard MrsMitch declare ‘Jesus wept’ when she (allegedly) found some on the curtains (and no, that’s most certainly not a euphemism!) 😆

I thought Catholicism promoted the whole ‘every sperm is sacred’ schtick? Ie, you can do it, but only for babymaking?

Yes and no – you can have sex as much as you want, but you have to put up with the babies God gives you because of it. He may want you to have a big family, in which case you’d better get a 15 seater minibus as your family car like the well-known catholic family in the town I grew up. I shit you not – it was almost full too.

The reason they were well known is that everyone had been to school with at least one of them, over the years.