Is sex the most important thing

If you don’t mind me asking was it a traumatic birth?

Wow… I think I owe Mrs Weeksy an apology based upon some posts on here.

I thought I was being hard done to !

If you have not read it already, I strongly recommend the first chapter of Dan Savage’s “Savage Love”. It is called something like “It is never OK to cheat. Except when it is”.

hora – Member
If you don’t mind me asking was it a traumatic birth?

Not at all. Ever since we said “I do” it was like a switch was flicked; before that, we used to be at it like rabbits. It was two weeks before we even consumated our marriage.

I do love her and have always worked on the assumption that no relationship is 100% perfect. Some couples argue, fall out, loose trust etc. We don’t have sex. Some of the posts up there about seeking professional intervention have got me thinking…. But could I handle the guilt?? Probably not.

Yes come on then those of you still at it like rabbits – what’s the secret? Is it just all about picking the right other half?

I’ve literally no idea. I do know that if I didn’t fancy my other half I’d treat it like a friendship and I would look to leave and meet someone with who I did fancy. I (personally) think that one of the indicators of a healthy relationship is both being with someone who you don’t get bored with, can relax and want to ‘bed’.

A living arrangement is where one of the above is missing.

Jeez…where do I start with this one…

I can empathise with so many posts on here. My sex drive is much higher than my partners and this has caused too many problems and a real block in any activity. My depression certainly does not help. I think there has to be compromise, if, both people love each other and want to have a good level of intimacy.

I blame porn for my problems.

weeksy – Member
Wow… I think I owe Mrs Weeksy an apology based upon some posts on here.

I thought I was being hard done to !

This got me thinking…..

(I can’t think of a diplomatic way of asking this.)

Do you chaps “ask” for sex? Does the missus lie back and think of England while you “go at it”? Apologies, I can’t think of a better way of putting it… Maybe my view is a bit too romantic?

Not at all. Ever since we said “I do” it was like a switch was flicked; before that, we used to be at it like rabbits. It was two weeks before we even consumated our marriage.

Ahh, the classic ‘Bait and Switch’ 🙄

This got me thinking…..

(I can’t think of a diplomatic way of asking this.)

Do you chaps “ask” for sex? Does the missus lie back and think of England while you “go at it”? Apologies, I can’t think of a better way of putting it… Maybe my view is a bit too romantic?

I found dragging her up stairs by the hair kicking and screaming was counter productive.

freddyg – arrange a family member-babysitter for overnight, book a hotel in town (doesn’t need to be far) and agree to switch off mobiles. Take mrsFreddy out for a meal. Tell her NO SEX but you want to give her the best oral ever. See where it leads.

(Sorry to be a bit graphic but if it was me – this is what I’d do). don’t put any pressure on her/or imply any. Simply dress it up as fun/a night away from the kids.

You are a human first then a Dad. Everyone needs a break.

Do you chaps “ask” for sex? Does the missus lie back and think of England while you “go at it”?

I think there is much to be said for “suggesting”. If I just waited hopefully for MrsD to indicate that she fancied some we would never have sex at all. I’d have said that if your partner never initiates sex you don’t necessarily have a problem, but if they actively don’t want to whenever you ask then you probably do.

Tell her NO SEX but you want to give her the best oral ever. See where it leads.

In what world is giving oral not having sex? Oh hold on you are Bill Clinton and I claim my cigar

Hora if they dont want to have sex with you they dont even want to kiss you never mind that ..you are so sexual obviously you have never been there but it would not work.

it would be like saying that to a work colleague bu twith less chance of success

JY +1 – has hora ever posted anything helpful on threads like this?

If you don’t mind me asking was it a traumatic birth?

if she’s not been near him for 7 years then it’s more likely it was a traumatic conception.

Do you chaps “ask” for sex? Does the missus lie back and think of England while you “go at it”?

I usually do ‘the look’. If the wife does the look back then I’m on, if she tells me to eff off or laughs then no.

Therefore I’d say that generally, women who have affairs are looking for love, romance and connection. Men are looking for sex.

Of course there are always exceptions to the rule but I’d guess the above picture is fairly accurate for 90% of the population.

The 1950s called, they want their blinkers back. There is a simlier thread on the internet somewhere now where a group of women are lamenting over how they don’t get enough from their hubbies.

If you don’t have the same sex drive as your partner then your married to the wrong person.

Do you chaps “ask” for sex?

Not as such, you just need to know what buttons to press, and how to press them*. I could go into more detail, but reading the above, we’re in the midst of a fragile economic recovery, and if all you lot start having sex with your wives again, I can see our national debt trend reversing again. So for the benefit of all, best I keep them to myself.

* and also when. Pressing the right buttons in Sainsbury’s will only result in a firm no, and a punch on the nose. Especially if it’s a shelf stacker you’ve never met before.

Samuri’s look?

Im guessing one or two of recent posters are aiming bitterness towards me. Its my opinion.

On a lighter note how does my other half know? I lower the union jack and raise the Jolly Roger flag…

No bitterness, just pointing out that you don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s an uninformed opinion.

*7yrs without sex.

You must have chinked glasses in a toast but not made eye contact

No bitterness, just pointing out that you don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s an uninformed opinion.

How is it uninformed if I’m getting it myself?

Aracer + 1

Ah symmetry 8)

You must have chinked glasses in a toast but not made eye contact

❓

Hora if they dont want to have sex with you they dont even want to kiss you never mind that

That sounds like the voice of experience… 😉

In my experience, a woman’s enjoyment of sex in general doesn’t really change – they either enjoy it, they can take-it-or-leave-it, or they hate it. A lot of men seem to bemoan the fact that their SOs don’t want to have sex any more and blame a shift in her attitudes, when they don’t make the effort to be more attractive themselves.

I’d be very interested to hear what it is the OP wants his OH to do that she finds so repellant… Is it the old Limassol Slip? A bit of tromboning? Pegging perhaps? 😯

Having had sex with a shed load of people i can say sex does not matter, love does, you can buy sex for 20 pounds but 20 million wolnt buy you love.

Maybe the OP could try swinging??

I guess it depends on how weird/taboo the thing you want her to do is and how strongly she doesn’t want to do it.

By this I mean she may tolerate something a bit odd if it pleases you but if it is a complete no no for her then I guess she has every right to refuse it.

And is it is something you have always been into and she knew about when you got together or is it something that you have tried to introduce?

I lower the union jack and raise the Jolly Roger flag…

You’ve changed since hora Jr came along. It used to be all about the flash grenades! 8)

Been reading this thread, Im so glad im not a heterosexual in a monogamous relationship , it sounds as fun as watching paint dry.

I guess it depends on how weird/taboo the thing you want her to do is and how strongly she doesn’t want to do it.

probably a good idea to marry some one that’s in to the same things as you!

but 20 million wolnt buy you love.

This reminds me of a Roy Chubby Brown line…

‘Tyson offered Lenox Lewis 20million to fight him’. Lenox replied ‘I’ll think about it’. Roy adds ‘I’ll think about it?!!, for 20million I’d kneel and blow Mike Tyson infront of mi Mam and Dad’.

Me too!! 😆

So yes, you can buy love in my books 8)

So yes, you can buy love in my books

lol you cant buy my love, but you can rent it by the hour. 🙂

lol you cant buy my love, but you can rent it by the hour.

I’m not totally sure that’s the lyric

So yes, you can buy love in my books

lol you cant buy my love, but you can rent it by the hour.

no pm feature on the forum.. 😥

no pm feature on the forum..

are you on fab?

Ive always been more of a traditionalist

@pictonroad – like a fat bike with 30 gears and slicks, 3DVgirl may be a little too niche for your liking

@pictonroad – like a fat bike with 30 gears and slicks, 3DVgirl may be a little too niche for your liking

thats made me lol 🙂

like a fat bike with 30 gears and slicks

Bouncy as hell and will have you off in no time at all?