interesting story on suicide bombers

This alarming story came across my email today from a friend in the states. As is the customary case, no sources were cited.

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike
on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to
in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to
produce an agreement. The unrest began yesterday when Al Qaeda
announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive
after his death will be cut by 25% this February, from 72 to only 60.
The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the
number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the
afterlife

The suicide bomber’s union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable
to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General
Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, “Our members are literally
working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don’t ask for
much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the
teeth.”

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he
currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained,
“We sympathize with our workers’ concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not
in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the
realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to
Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the
afterlife. It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
laying people off. I don’t like cutting wages but I’d hate to have to
tell 3,000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up.”

Spokespersons for the Union in the northeast of England, Ireland,
Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike
would not affect their operations, as “there are no virgins in their
areas anyway.”

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put
down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle – now that
Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on
going to paradise.

That is amazingly poor. Did you get a sent a link with a picture of Jordan getting out of a car with no pants on in the same email?

Jordan getting out of a car with no pants on

Where can I get this then? 8)

Got through the first paragraph then realised I had to do something….anything…else*

*Like type this snidey reply.

i made the first line and a half

*inserts snidey smiley*

LOL

But can’t help wondering how long before this thread gets pulled.

That’s hilarious !

Not the story………….obviously.

The fact that someone thought it was actually funny.

But can’t help wondering how long before this thread gets pulled.

You can’t pull a thread just for it being about as funny as a punch to the cock. This place would be like the Mary Celeste otherwise. Also some people might find it amusing as everyone’s sense of humour is different.

Hang on… This is just the trailer for Postal but with even less funny. And you know something’s gone wrong with your post when you’re ripping off Uwe Boll

<double post>

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5 mins apart?

I stopped reading when I hit the numbers – any fule no that a cut from 72 to 60 is only 20%.

And bad maths makes bad jokes, right kids?

Jamie – Member

5 mins apart?

Yup- paged back on the site then sent it again not realising that I’d already done it.

Bez – Member
I stopped reading when I hit the numbers – any fule no that a cut from 72 to 60 is only 20%.

And bad maths makes bad jokes, right kids?

We all know you meant 16.66% really, you being good at maths and all… 🙄 😆

I read an article today about an alternative to body scanners at airports. Apparantly some kind of sealed booth you have to go in and if it detects any explosives it automatically explodes them within the bomb-proof booth. Seems a reasonable idea (and within the humour quotia for this thread, surely).