Inanimate objects which are pricks

Also Lezyne bicycle pumps, which I think unscrew the valve core for everybody.

Nope, if it happens more than once, it’s not the pumps fault.

Re mudguards – PDW Fenders are your solution.

But Hannah’s coffee table gets my vote, for all the reasons she has listed

This is becoming one of my favourite threads.

https://tenor.com/bbKbr.gif

Edit: urghghh. I give up. Probably user error, but this forum editing can be a prick too.

Anything with Apple written on it. I don’t know why, they give me the rage every time.

I’ve only owned two Apple products – an AirTag and an Apple TV unit.

I sold the Apple TV unit after less than a week of usage as the remote was a hateful piece of design.

Can I add an honourable mention for the ‘infotainment system’ on my Skoda? Apparently it wants to update itself, a message came up when I was going 30mph. Fine, I think, please yourself, press OK. But no, it can’t do it unless it’s stationary. OK, I think, I’ll do it quickly when I get where I’m going. Prompt disappears, does not reappear until several days later when I’m going somewhere else at 30mph. There is nowhere in the menu system that allows it to happen. It’s been wanting its update for about six months now.

Why does my OnePlus phone automatically start the PowerAmp app when I connect to my AudioPro BT5 device?

I often want to use a different app to Bluetooth music/podcasts etc to it?

Chuffing annoying!

my shower is a Mira advance with only gravity fed cold water feed

I’ll look at mine, its the same.
Ive attached the hot water tap to the shower hose so i get a good shower now. Had to turn the cold inlet down,and it always beeps but mostly a great shower now. The drain pump is way too noisy though
But security cameras- i have one to monitor wildlife in the garden-ie the blackbird- but rain sets it off every 2 minutes, it only record twice in daylight, and still the hedgehogs food is gone and i dont know if its a rat getting fat
and wildlife cams- either the batteries dont work once its outside, teh timers wrong or the sd card got forgotten

This bag of crap that masquerades as a vacuum cleaner.
You basically have to also own a compressor to clean the thing out after every minute of use.
It even came with the most annoying wall bracket in the world.
A decent design would incorporate the charger, but no it’s just a badly designed hook.
You also need another vacuum cleaner for what falls out of it when you hang it up.

Toasters: I was slated by the then to be father in law for buying a £40 toaster. 14 years later it’s still going strong. It started smelling funny and not toasting well, I feared that was the end so I turned it upside down and out fell the end of a flower stalk.

I’d say it’s a Morphy Richards but I’m not sure as all the decals have worn off.

I e worked with ropes for over 2 decades and they’re pricks. They always tangle and knot them selves.

maybe wine glasses. They’re a stupidly fragile and not very stable, yet they are meant to hold a liquid that will very definitely stain your carpet and sofa.

I have to use a tumbler to drink wine from because of those pricks.  IN MY OWN HOUSE, OVER THE CARPETS I PAID FOR. Arseholes.

This bag of crap that masquerades as a vacuum cleaner.

There’s a Vax Blade advertised on a card on the little classifieds board in my local Tesco. “Used once.”

The Henry vacuum cleaner (relegated) in the garage. Great when being used but when not it becomes downright malevolent and will uncoil and launch itself round my ankles like a rabid python if I go anywhere near it.
And the clothes dryer with clothes on that collapses  when I walk past.

Also door handles, vicious little *******s. So many trousers with pockets or belt loops ripped.

Always happens at a “bad time”. Anyone else find themselves yelling “Dont you start ********” at the time….

Mops, Just cleaned my kitchen floor and all they do is smear stuff around rather than cleaning and they get stuck on anything with more than a mm that stick out. Hateful things and now have to wait for ages for the floor to dry out.

The Crash avoidance warning on our Focus , thing loses it’s shit when there’s no chance of me hitting anything 🙄Trouble is an alarm goes off without warning that instinctively makes you panic for nothing 🙄

I’ve found the sensitivity setting now and tamed it down hopefully that’ll stop it’s gallop . That was an ordeal in itself the setting was in a sub menu of a sub menu of a sub menu 😡

My apple compost caddy. Looks all fancy and cute, but tapers in at the top and has a lip around the inside that means getting a full bag out to put in the food waste recycling is a 50/50 gamble on whether the bag splits or not.

The Crash avoidance warning on our Focus , thing loses it’s shit when there’s no chance of me hitting anything 🙄Trouble is an alarm goes off without warning that instinctively makes you panic for nothing 🙄

I’ve found the sensitivity setting now and tamed it down hopefully that’ll stop it’s gallop . That was an ordeal in itself the setting was in a sub menu of a sub menu of a sub menu 😡

That thing is flippin’ dangerous. I’ve also managed to turn down the sensitivity but basically, just when IT thinks there’s something dangerous ahead it shouts “BING BING BING LOOK AT ME” and flashes a bit orange thing in the console thus immediately taking your eyes off the road and wondering what the **** is going on, just when it thinks you should be paying attention and avoiding an accident.

I must be tired, I just read the thread title as “intimate objects which are pricks” and thought… well, yeah?

Are you suggesting that the British plug is bad design?

US plugs on the other hand… A sure fire way to spend ages in a hotel room trying to get your adapter+plug to stay seated well enough to work without falling out if you go to close to it or look at it in the wrong way.

Can we, please, extend this to include animate objects.

Our kitchen door handle is a prick. I’m the perfect height to allow it to catch perfectly into my pocket as I walk past, putting me into an immediate hand break turn to the left… Usually whilst carrying a drink or plate full of food.

It’s a bastard and it knows it.

Also door handles, vicious little *******s. So many trousers with pockets or belt loops ripped.

I missed that, I assumed it was only me that had this issue. 😁

Car keys… See above.

AirTag or Chipolo tracker – I no longer lose mine. Tile trackers are useless, avoid.

Bosch oven alarms. Great oven. The timer alarm is quieter than a corpse.
There is no way of adjusting it. Is it because there’s some legislation in Germany about damaging your neighbour’s hearing or something?

In contrast the old De Longhi oven had a whole range of different tones and volumes … assuming you could work out how to adjust it.

OK, new one. I’m at my sister’s house at the moment. A strange beeping noise from the other room, I thought one of the kids might have left some sort of game on. That annoying beeping you get in really shit birthday cards.

Nope. It was the washing machine playing a self- congratulatory symphony for actually doing the one job it’s designed for. Smug ****.

Having just moved into a house with considerably more electric beepery than we’re used to, there’s one intermittent beep that we keep hearing and we don’t know what it is. It sounds like a smoke alarm with a low battery… but they’re all hard-wired. It sounds like it’s coming from the dishwasher … but there’s no code, it’s working fine and according the manual it doesn’t make occasional beeps. Gaaahhhhh!!!

And drywall anchors. Well that’s a great way of **** up a nicely plastered and painted wall! Follow the instructions – horrible mess.

Can we, please, extend this to include animate objects.

I think that’s already covered by 90% of the forum content.

US plugs on the other hand… A sure fire way to spend ages in a hotel room trying to get your adapter+plug to stay seated well enough to work without falling out if you go to close to it or look at it in the wrong way.

Australian plugs have managed to come up with a standard pin design … but a staggering array of shit orientation angles. Consequently you can buy a powerboard for six outlets but only be able to get three plugs into it!
Plus the wiring always enters at 90 degrees to the wall so they accidentally get pulled out with minimal force.

Bosch oven alarms. Great oven. The timer alarm is quieter than a corpse.

we’ve got two Bosch ovens, different models but from the same series.   One has a perfectly normal timer alarm, loud-ish and goes on for at least 30 seconds (probably longer) until cancelled.

The second oven…, 3 very quiet, solitary beeps. That’s it. Can’t see a way of adjusting it either!

I use the smoke alarm as our oven timer.

Pawl springs, the coil type

The Crash avoidance warning on our Focus , thing loses it’s shit when there’s no chance of me hitting anything 🙄Trouble is an alarm goes off without warning that instinctively makes you panic for nothing

My Alfa has one. I have a very steep section of driveway… sometimes that sets it off because it thinks you’re going to crash into the ground! It also does this with the ramp out of the car park at work. In both situations it’s completely random, so not only does it scare the shit out of me but the anticipation of it happening is actually worse. Like the tap that sometimes gives me a static shock.

I return from other dimensions to find STWF forum convo, on  vacuum cleaners??

Not like the gud O’le dayzs then!…..

I’d say it’s a Morphy Richards but I’m not sure as all the decals have worn off.

Ours was £2.70 from a charity shop a decade ago. Never puts a foot wrong. Has a lever for raising the toast so you can check it. Only sign of aging is the labels on the buttons wearing off. Easy peasy to use.

The Henry vacuum cleaner (relegated) in the garage.

I’ve never understood the love for Henrys.

Their USP is that they’re indestructible. At work they’ll cheerfully suck up brick dust, mud, cat sick, you name it. At home they’re a Poundland version of a Hoover Constellation.

Umbrellas. I think they were invented by someone with a hat and coat phobia that had never experienced wind (not that type).

I can’t “do” topic ratings as a freeloader, so maccruiskeen 👍 (hand dryers) and blokeuptheroad 👍 (toilet rolls).

I salute you both and giggled stupidly

Is it illegal for me to add the FGF pop up video that I have never and will never watch? It’s like a fly that needs swatting.

Is it illegal for me to add the FGF pop up video that I have never and will never watch? It’s like a fly that needs swatting

There’s a way to turn that off in your profile.

reeksy , I asked Mark about it , you can turn it off in your preferences, who knew ?

The top of door frames   “header” and the remote for Keff lsx speakers, utter prices.

There’s a lo of ire for toasters in this thread. With the rise of AI just be careful what you wish for…

the little classifieds board

Ahh the nostalgia. The little classified board in the window of the village new agents where I grew up is what I used to browse before the internet. It’s where you could find out what things strangers had bought and then been disappointed by. Went back there after 35 years recently and the little notice board it still there.

We also had a small council tip behind the village hall – its where you could see the items you’d read about on the notice board a few weeks later.

Umbrellas. I think they were invented by someone with a hat and coat phobia that had never experienced wind (not that type).

I think they were invented by someone who harboured fantasies about stabbing strangers in the eye. I think if they didn’t already exist and you invented them there would be no way you could actually get them to market now- a ring of sharp points that you wave around at face height. Insane.