OP – it’s great to read that you are ok. I don’t know you but I’m sure the world is a better place for you still being here. Like many others have said, I wish you a good recovery and a future of better mental health.

Who loves ya (Eddie)baby! So glad to read this. Keep on keeping on and my offer still stands.

gastromonkey says it all, chin up Eddiebaby, spring is in the air.

Hey @eddiebaby – I don’t know you in real life, but the world would be a lot less fun without you.
A workmate did herself in when I was in my 20s, and although we weren’t super-close, I do think about her a lot – she was a pretty wonderful person. You might not have though that of yourself a couple of days ago, but by gum the number of people on here rooting for you shows you just a tiny fraction of the good you’ve done.
I’m in the Surrey Hills too, just like @stevextc. Shout if I can do anything to help.

I can only echo what everyone else has said, from my own recent personal experience, the messages I’ve received have shown what a lovely bunch of misfits hang out on here, and the world is a better place for it, so take care, and take time to to take care of yourself.
Very best wishes from me.

Eddiebaby,

Glad to hear that you are being looked after/getting some support from the medics, family and friends and here.

I wish you the very best with your recovery.

A lot more of us seem to be needing some help and what I’m finding is that finally the world has woken up to the importance of mental health and it’s not just a mtfu situation.

Lots of love on this thread. STW at its best again.

Best wishes

Just seen this thread.
Wishing you all the best OP

I’m so glad to read the update eddie.

Keep posting when you feel like it mate whether it’s small stuff or important stuff!

I can only say all the best and the tone of your posts makes me think you’ll get this one sorted.

No problems, just as long as they dont continue calling you EddieBaby 😆 Not cool 😆

@Eddiebaby
bentudder

I’m in the Surrey Hills too, just like @stevextc. Shout if I can do anything to help.

If you just want to borrow a bike give me a shout. Nothing posh but I’ve got a 2015 Mega (L) sat doing nothing and won’t get used before end June (Dyfi and Revs) or the old XtC HT for some leisurely bimbles I only use for Swinley but could always just use my aggressive HT.

Mega kinda needs wheels to use “as designed” as the wheels are on the aggressive HT … but unless you’re 100kg+ I can sort out some wheels just narrower/not full on Enduro.

You are not alone in feeling and doing what you did. I have two relatives who made unsuccessful attempts and both are fine now after treatment. 3am is a very dangerous time because the sensible bits of your brain are still asleep even though you feel awake.
Best of luck with your recovery.

Morning people.
After doing my best to keep away from the internet other than for dealing with different organisations and the hideous gov.uk site. I keep getting notifications from here. So I check in to say what’s been posted.
Two things. The level of support on here has been amazing. Thanks to everyone who has commented, offered rides in the scary hills of Surrey and shown empathy with my situation. One surprise was realising somehow I went from Freeloader to Full Member. I’m looking at you Hannah, Mark and Chipps and the rest of the STW crew.
Little things like all the above have made a big difference to my mood. I’m part of the way back and feeling positive. Certain tasks are not going to be easy but there is a way through all this and it is a lot simpler than my confused state would have let me believe.
Thanks to each and every one of you.

The other things is realising that I am nothing special. A lot of others have been through or are going through a similar state. I’m certainly going to try to be a better person for others in the future.
I’ve heard a couple of heartbreaking stories over the last couple of days. My brother has just told me about one of his kids’ friends who, upon the start of school closures last year decided his mock results where not good enough and were probably going to be used instead of ‘proper’ exams. So he went to the woods and hung himself. Friends of his found him. The parents, siblings and friends have been devasted.
That line about suicide getting rid of your problems but passing them onto others really rings true. In the last 3 days I have had more proper talks with my brother than I have had in the last quarter of a century.
Seriously folks, talk to people and ask for help. The people you ask would far rather have that than the consequences of you keeping quiet.

Two things..
I don’t normally post on stw while on holiday, but I am in the lakes and it’s pissing down so thought I would check in.
Second,stw always feels to me like a Big Brother experiment, the more you engage the more you see the true humans (good or bad) behind the words.eddiebaby, as others have said you are one of the good guys and I have always enjoyed your posts.Wishing you all the very best,keep on keeping on,or as I like to say TATS for the win (Tiny Attainable Tasks) 🙂

@eddiebaby

Spare bikes in my shed… delivery available to borrow or rides/bimbles available as and when.

I’d send you a pm with number or email but I can’t get my pm to send… but (anyone has my number/email feel free to send)…
I’m going to Fleet DJ/pumptrack tomorrow to meet a mate (I’m crap but my mate is crapper but nooone there to see us midweek 😉 )… happy to pick you up and loan a bike for the DJ/pump track…

Today I gotta go and vote then check email for any work (unlikely)
Will ride somewhere over the weekend anything from unfit old geezer XC bimble to maybe meet some mates at Puddletown and do some DH… no big deal to pick you up…

Next week … ?? Unless some work comes in likely to be free … might go to Rogate with as mate Tuesday as its his day off and might be meeting another mate end of week with his day off… you’re welcome to any … it’s no sweat to pop via anywhere Surrey Hills on the way somewhere.

eddiebaby – I’m so glad to hear you’re on the road to recovery. Hope you find what you need to thrive again. Wishing you all the best.

@eddiebaby

and the hideous gov.uk site

Can you get someone to do this for/with you….
I personally dread such things… makes me feel ill in my stomach and my anxiety skyrockets with anything like that.

Mucho thanks for the offer Steve.
At the moment I am involved in dealings with the Gov.uk pensions folks and hopefully tomorrow will be seeing work start flowing on to my desk as the copy for next week’s paper starts flowing in. The guys in the paper have been very supportive and accept I need to fill some time with work.
Between them and the Older Adult Mental Health Support Team (at least I’m not in the ‘Elderly’category yet…) I’m going to be a bit tied up for the next week or so. Also I have changed my doctor’s practice to one in Farnham so I can organise Covid jab #2 and register with local support groups.
So between the health folk doing their best to make sure I don’t self-harm with sharp things and people on here encouraging me to risk self-harm with bikes and hills I seem to have the bases covered pretty thoroughly. I will be popping out a couple of times a day to get my heart racing in the local area on my singlespeed but I’m currently sat at my computer laying down the foundations for the way forward.
Thanks to everyone offering to help. I’m just in a bit bit of a busy spell working with my brother at drawing the clear route through this situation. (I did play my guitar for 30 minutes last night. Managed to do it without pulling any cuts open. 🙂 ).

Mucho thanks for the offer Steve.

No probs its open anyway… but I had an image of you going “bloody hell… why didn’t I being a bike”

@eddiebaby – if you’re close to Farnham, I’m only just the other side of Aldershot. Happy to go for a ride if you fancy the company; we can compare scars if you want a laugh at mine..! 😁

I’m so glad to hear that you’re feeling more positive about things. Please look after yourself and don’t forget how much the people around you care about you.

Morning folks.
Probably the last time I’ll post in this thread. The support on here has been great but I think it has served it’s purpose.
I started proper therapy today by taking this beast for a walk.
Shrek, a 9 year old rescue Vizsla/Shar Pei cross. He’s a gentle beast.

Sunshine and dogs, the very best therapy going. Good luck with the next few weeks.

Enjoy yourself. See you when you get a minute 🙂

Chipps and (all!) the team here.